The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for July 12 / 04.

- Live from Manchester United, NH.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Dallas Page.

- RNN! Randy Orton accepts Sting's challenge for SummerSlam and tells him to bring a nice wooden box he can fit in. Well, ain't that nice. His guest is a man who will "soon regret his decision" to back Sting up -- Chris Harris. Orton keeps asking him about Sting, implying a homosexual relationship between the two. Harris: "Hey, you're the guy who hangs out with Batista." Advantage, Harris. Orton pries some more about Sting and keeps cutting him off. Harris begins to look around, certain of a setup, which means he's checking the aisleway when he gets hit with the RKO. "Tell Sting I said hi." Fun little segment.

- Christopher Nowinski is visiting Harvard today, and basically asks a bunch of people who would win a fight between a former football captain and a little girl. They all think he's arrogant -- "even by our standards", adds one sorority girl -- but none of them dispute the outcome. "Great minds think alike." Clearly.

- Opening match, World tag team titles: Nick Mondo and Tommy Dreamer v. Christian and Chynna Doll. Christian seems vaguely disinterested in wrestling. Faces clear house to start, and Christian threatens to take a walk but decides against it. Mondo dives onto the heels, and Dreamer drags Chynna in for a DDT for two. Christian sucker-punches Dreamer to make him face-in-peril, an odd choice given Dreamer's near-nonexistent physical "condition". Christian with a diving DDT for two. Chynna gets a suplex and clothesline for two. The heels double suplex Dreamer for two. Christian gets hit low and run over, hot tag Mondo. Christian controls Dreamer on the outside as the PA man pipes in the chant, cueing the crowd and causing Christian to freak out and cover his ears. Dreamer takes advantage and sneaks back in, and one Dreamer Driver and Superfly Splash later, Chynna's flatter than the Gobi Desert at 5:47. *1/4 Christian realizes what happened and gets even more distraught. Chynna tries to re-assure him, but no dice. The announcers speculate on a nervous breakdown.

- HHH prepares for his match with Batista backstage. He talks about being from New Hampshire and how much he loves the state as the camera pans back to reveal Trish, hair out of place and smiling sweetly. HHH gives her a goodbye kiss as the announcers act like this has been happening all along backstage. Damn, why does HHH get a rebound girl from Stephanie?

- Women's title: Jazz v. Alexis Laree. Laree fires off the forearms to start as Long does some playa hatin on the outside. Handspring elbow misses and Jazz gets a slam and splash for two. Laree with the rana, and a LareeDT try, but Jazz tosses her to the outside. Back in, Jazz with a fisherman's buster and STF for the quick win at 2:43. 1/4*

- Back in Cambridge, Nowinski visits his old football coach, who guarantees success for Nowinski. Apparently, everyone at Harvard could see that Maven was the "storyline" champion and Chris was more talented. I love shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoot comments.

- Meanwhile, Jericho expounds on his handicap match tonight and on SummerSlam. If he survives tonight ("...and that's a big if...") he will win the World title easily in Canada. "Rhinoceros can't survive in cold weather, you know, so Rhyno will be an easy target." And, with all the snow, he'll definitely stand out. "Well, unless he's an Albyno," adds Jericho, who then proceeds to rhyme "Rhyno" with 6 or 7 other words in a poem. The usual awesomeness.

- Intercontinental Title: Molly Holly v. Michael Shane. Man, it's so weird to see Shane tower over someone like that. So anyway, Shane clotheslines Molly and gets a series of armdrags to start, and Molly keeps her distance. She suckers Shane into the corner and drop toeholds him into the turnbuckle. Molly gets her spinning arm wrenches and tosses Shane, but Shane sends her into the STEEL steps on the outside. Back in, it gets two. Shane with an enzuigiri for two and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. C'mon, Mike, you can do better than that! Molly gets to her feet and backs Shane into the corner, then chops away at him. Shane reverses a corner whip, but Molly catches the superkick and the Diamond Cutter finishes at 4:53. Reasonably short, given the participants. 3/4*

- Back to Cambridge, as Chris Nowinski enters the Harvard library and looks up Joan of Arc, comparing her to Molly. Some day, history will repeat itself and she will be a martyr to the cause -- of Nowinski's wrestling career. Well, some causes are more noble than others, I guess.

- Back in the arena, Molly walks off, as Christian (who was headed around the corner) cuts her a very wide berth and seems almost to be avoiding her. Molly tries to say something, but Christian runs off as Tracy arrives to "protect" Molly. One of these weeks, they're going to have to have Molly say what she's been trying to say, and I don't think it can possibly measure up.

- HHH v. Batista. Trish is at ringside for Trips. We get a posedown -- er, staredown -- to start, as both men try to look like something out of a gay porno movie. Batista wins a slugfest, but puts his head down and HHH USES THE KNEE~! to take over. MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER gets two. Batista gets one of his own for two. Powerslam and ground-n-pound follow. Batista with a lariat for two. Suplex gets two. HHH with a clothesline and kneedrop (always the knee) to begin the comeback. Batista gets a desperation Hotshot for two. Blind charge misses, KICK WHAM PEDIGREE wins it at 4:58. 3/4* HHH and Trish hug in the ring, and don't they make a cute couple.

- Quick question: which is more inflated, HHH's biceps or Trish's chest?

- Main event: Chris Jericho v. Rhyno and Kane. But first, Shawn Michaels comes out and attacks Kane because he can. Jericho takes advantage right away with a facecrusher for two. Jericho gets a snap suplex and tries the Lionsault, but Kane gets the knees up. Powerslam gets two, and Kane goes a-clubberin'. Kane with a military press for two. Jericho goes to the eyes and gets a running enzuigiri, followed by the springboard dropkick. Rhyno sneaks in and clips Jericho to put him down, though, and we take a break. We come back with Kane twisting Jericho's leg. Kane with a one-legged swing (which will put a LOT of stress on that leg) and he stomps the leg again. See, the problem is Kane isn't programmed to do submissions, so all this legwork isn't really gonna go anywhere. Kane wraps Jericho's leg around the top rope as Hebner pleads for a break. Kane pulls Jericho up for a Burning Hammer, but Jericho armdrags out of it, then dives with a flying forearm. Jericho can't put weight on the leg, and it shows when his dropkick attempt is pitifully low. Kane swats it aside and tries for a chokeslam. Jericho goes low to stop it and trips Kane for the Walls of Jericho. Kane makes the ropes. Jericho with a DDT on Kane, who bails straight into Sweet Chin Music from Shawn, who decided to stick around. Shawn tosses Kane in... for two. Jericho sends Kane into the buckle and gets a second facejam. He goes for the Lionsault, but runs straight into the GORE GORE GORE as Rhyno covers him with one hand for the pin at 12:09. Jericho and Kane worked well together, and the Gore is getting insanely over. **1/2

The Bottom Line:

Certainly not a show you watch for wrestling's sake, as everyone involved was in quick matches. The RAW side of SummerSlam is coming together quite nicely, though, as Nowinski/Molly should be the way to settle the "oops-we-now-have-to-find-a-way-to-get-the-belt-back-off-her" issue. Jericho's winning, or at least he'd better be, and Orton/Sting could go any which way.

Oh, and before you write me, I know that technically the Gobi Desert is in Mongolia.

*****

July 15, 2004

WWE.com

We're in Providence, RI, as the WWE examines life after Vengeance on the Road to SummerSlam!

On Sunday, it was made official: Eddie Guerrero and Edge will meet for the WWE Heavyweight Title in Toronto! We'll hear from both men during the night about this meeting and what it'll mean for them if they become champion north of the border -- in Edge's hometown!

Coming off a stunning upset of Kurt Angle at Vengeance, Scott Colt is absolutely tearing up the charts. Tonight, he'll get his first shot at gold in the WWE when he goes for the United States title against Matt Hardy! Can the sensei of Mattitude keep the young gun at bay, or will we see the star continue to rise?

After an outstanding match with World's Greatest Tag Team at Vengeance, Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio are still WWE Tag Team Champions. And since they claim to be fighting champions, it's no rest for them! They will square off in a WWE Tag Team Title match against Matt Hardy's followers, Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias! These two have teaming experience from WCW, and in fact these two teams squared off on the final Nitro! What will happen now, with both teams having 3 more years of seasoning?

All this and more -- including commentary by the APA from the Friendly Tap -- tonight on UPN at 8/7 Central! Be sure to Smack Your TV to catch it all!

[DonaldMick]

Trish owes HHH big time. If it wasn't for the hammerlock reversal lesson, she never would've won the Women's title.

"Rebound girl"? Did Steph dump HHH?

And now that I can get to your page (SWANK~), any idea when the rest of the books will go up?

[oldskool]

Hurricane Donald...

It will all become clear once BVS is completely up on the site (and you've read it all)

But it will consume your soul.

Or at least make you sign on to EWB for over a year in hopes of another chapter each and every day like it did so many of us.

[TheBookerMan69]

And also give you bad dreams every night about Vince McMahon with devil horns.... maybe that's just me...

[Guest y2gudge]

The Six-Man and Tag Team Title matches stood out at Vengeance as the better matches, it's just a small shame that Edge/Bull & Eddie/Taker didn't follow on.

Raw seemed a bit stop-gap but the Nowinski promos would have come off really good on TV...

*y2gudge*

Edited August 6, 2004 by y2gudge

[K.O.T.W]

Hurricane Donald...

It will all become clear once BVS is completely up on the site (and you've read it all)

But it will consume your soul.

Or at least make you sign on to EWB for over a year in hopes of another chapter each and every day like it did so many of us.

←

Yeah, we want the last 2 chapters!

[The Third Dukes]

Trish owes HHH big time. If it wasn't for the hammerlock reversal lesson, she never would've won the Women's title.

Yup, these are my readers.

*****

- The SmarKDown! Rant for July 15 / 04, taped July 12.

- From Providence, RI.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jim Cornette in the arena, and the APA at the Friendly Tap, who provide analysis as only they can.

- Opening match: Rob Van Dam v. Sean Morley. Announcers let us know that Nathan Jones has been suspended indefinitely due to his actions against Mills Lane, which is likely code for "he's in OVW trying not to suck." Morley unloads the right hands early and often to stagger RVD. Running kneesmashes and Russian legsweep get two. Morley with a fistdrop for two on RVD. RVD kicks away to turn the tide, and a mid-ring monkey flip and Rolling Thunder get two. Morley bails, so RVD hits a tope suicida on him and Steven Richards. Back in, RVD gets the ten-punch countalong and a slam, but the split-legged moonsault misses. Morley gets a legsweep and octopus hold on RVD, who makes the ropes. Morley dropkicks RVD's knee and scores a forearm smash for two. Back to the leg, as Morley gets a kneebar. RVD is up to one foot and tries an enzuigiri, only to have Morley duck. Morley now with an Indian deathlock, but RVD catches him falling backwards in a cradle for two. Backslide gets two. RVD tries the stepover enzuigiri, but Morley catches the leg, sweeps the other one, and tries a figure-four as Stephanie emerges. Cornette is very upset about Stephanie's appearance, even more so when Stephanie distracts the ref as RVD is tapping. Morley gets up and yells at the ref, and as he goes to re-apply the figure-four, RVD cradles for two. RVD with a one-legged dropkick to cue the comeback. Morley tries a clip, but RVD vaults it and gets a monkey flip. RVD tries a superplex, but Morley goes low and shoves him off. Moral High Ground misses, and the Five-Star follows for the pin at 10:43. Mmmmm -- wrestling. ***1/4 Bradshaw says RVD can join the APA any day of the week.

- WWE United States Title: Matt Hardy v. Scott Colt. Matt Facts: Matt likes being a team leader, and Matt takes no one lightly. We go backstage, where Matt's buddies lay in a first-class whuppin' to Konnan, who was busy talking to Piper about a rematch. Here's hoping Piper's answer is no, although with Piper you can never tell. Anyway, Colt gets a headlock on Matt and flips him over, turning it into a ground cobra clutch. Matt escapes and slugs away, but Colt reverses a whip and scores a back body drop. Colt with a legdrop for two. A second legdrop misses, and Matt gets a suplex for two. DDT gets two. Colt is sent over the top, but lands on the apron and springboards in with a clothesline for two as Matt turns around. Matt blocks an uppercut, but his reply is reversed to a backslide for two. German suplex by Colt, but Matt flips out and tries the Twist of Fate, but Colt shoves off and gets a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER on the way back. Matt bails and threatens to walk, but Colt catches him around the corner with a pescado as we take a break. We come back with Colt pounding on Matt, but Matt ducks a clothesline and gets a bodypress. Yodelling legdrop gets two. Northern Lights suplex gets two. Matt tries a superplex, but Colt reverses in mid-air for two. Colt with a slingshot legdrop for two. Colt gets the double-underhook, but Matt flips him over for two. Twist of Fate is blocked, and Colt with a rollup for two. Colt goes up top and gets a spinkick for two. Colt 45 try, but Matt leaps over and behind Colt and scores the Twist of Fate for real to retain at 14:52. Matt Hardy may not be Kurt Angle, but he isn't bad either. ***1/2

- Edge tells Eddie Guerrero that Vengeance was the biggest night of his career... before SummerSlam. It's at SummerSlam, in front of HIS PEOPLE, that his dream will come true. Eddie may represent Mexico, but Edge represents himself, and that's what matters.

- Faarooq says the match at SummerSlam will be one of the best he's seen.

- Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble v. Tajiri. Noble with chops in the corner, but Tajiri fires back with his own and gets the handspring elbow for two. Noble powers Tajiri down and works the leg as Heyman yells encouragement. Noble gets a Russian legsweep for two. He kicks the leg and nails a shinbreaker, but Tajiri goes to the throat and hooks the Tarantula. Nidia slaps Tajiri to break, so he gives HER the mist. Noble dives onto Tajiri, and back in, it's back to the leg. Figure-four follows, but Tajiri makes the ropes. Noble puts Tajiri in the Tree of Woe and works the leg over, but Tajiri grabs Noble's leg and yanks him off. A series of chops sets up the Buzzsaw Kick, but it's with the BAD leg and Tajiri injures himself, too. Noble sees the injury, jumps on it like Mark Henry on a Porterhouse steak, and the figure-four finishes at 9:14. Not bad -- in fact, quite good -- just... boring. **3/4

- Noble is celebrating backstage when Paul Heyman approaches. Sure, Noble beat Killings, and maybe he just beat Tajiri, but can he beat the Dragon? That's the question he'll have to answer. Noble just stares at him, then at his belt, and demands that Heyman back up his talk. So next week in Philly, it's Ultimo v. Noble in a rematch. It doesn't hit Noble until 5 seconds after Heyman leaves that he just agreed to a match with a Heyman protege in PHILADELPHIA. Cute.

- Faarooq's thought on Ultimo Dragon: "Damn."

- WWE Tag Team titles: Filthy Animals v. 3 Count. It's WCW all over again! Michael Cole lets us know that these two teams met for the Cruiserweight Tag Titles on the final Nitro, which is ALMOST right. In reality, it was these two teams (plus the team of Kaz Hayashi and Jimmy Yang) in a qualifier, with the winners (Kidman/Rey) facing the very un-remembered team of Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper for the gold later in the evening. Faces go nuts to start, hitting stereo headscissors and a double dropkick on Evan. Moore gets a missile dropkick on Kidman, but as he gloats, Rey Drops the Dime on him for two. Evan with a springboard legdrop on Rey, but Kidman gets a flapjack on Evan. Moore dropkicks Evan out of the ring and WE'RE OFF AND FLYING as Moore, Evan, and Rey barrel over the top in succession. Back in the ring, the MFers get a double hiptoss and double elbowdrop on Kidman, who clearly feels like being Ricky Morton again. Moore with a headscissors and a baseball slide to Kidman's ribs for two. Evan drops the big elbow for two. The heels get a guillotine legdrop for two. Moore with a neckbreaker as we take a break. We come back with Evan working the arm, and Moore dropping an axhandle on it. Evan with a Hotshot for two. Moore goes for a top-rope Frankensteiner, but Kidman reverses to a BK bomb and crawls all the way across the ring to tag in Rey. RANAS FOR EVERYONE! Crazy-ass armdrag on Evan, and Moore is floored by a dropkick into the 6-1-9. West Coast Hop finishes at 11:11. Spotfest. **3/4 Bradshaw lets us know that he could beat all four guys up. Thanks, John. Way to put over the talent. Loser.

- But wait! We cut right back to the arena, where Kurt Angle appears on the TitanTron from backstage with Team Angle and a horrified Torrie Wilson. Kurt declares that he and Brock won't be robbed of their shot because of an intentional injury. Torrie begs for her life as Kidman looks like he's going to pass out. Rey finally allows the match to happen, and it's at SummerSlam, Kidman/Rey v. Kurt/Brock. So Mike Barton picks Torrie up and TKOs her anyway. Shelton superkicks her, Eric gets the Angle Slam (on mats, of course), and Kurt almost puts the Ankle Lock on when Undertaker finds where they are and cleans house. Kidman and Rey run to the back (too late), and Kidman screams for EMTs as Rey and Taker chase Team Angle to the back. This was eerily reminiscent of Kurt kidnapping Austin during the InVasion, and not nearly as goofy in its result.

- Back at the bar, Faarooq is outraged and volunteers to kick Kurt's ass.

- Bull Buchanan v. Konnan. Konnan is still hurt from the earlier attack, so Bull gets a squash, ending in 3:04 with the flying legdrop. DUD Mattitude tries to keep it up on Konnan, but 3 Live Kru comes to the rescue and the RTC picks off whoever they can. Que?

- Eddie Guerrero appears and rattles off a list of everyone he's beaten since winning the title. Names such as Eric Angle don't sound so impressive, but Kurt, Brock, Matt, Bull, and Taker are. He says that everywhere is his home, all fans are his fans, and that Edge will be another name on his list. He is the greatest champion because he's the people's champion, says Eddie. Not in Canada you ain't!

- Back at the bar, the APA are nowhere to be found!

- Main event: Eddie Guerrero and Edge v. World's Greatest Tag Team. Eddie and Edge clean house at the beginning, sending WGTT to the outside, where the faces hit stereo dives on them. Eddie with a slingshot senton on Haas as Edge spears down Shelton. Barton arrives and nails Edge on the outside with the gloved fist, and back in, Haas gets a German on Edge for two. Shelton with a superkick for two. Leapfrog choke gets two. Dragon whip gets two. Haas with a dragon sleeper as Shelton adds a legdrop to Edge's exposed chest. It gets two. Haas tries an atomic drop, but Edge turns it into a bulldog. Hot tag Eddie, who opens fire on both men and gets the rolling verticals on Shelton. To the top, but Haas shoves Eddie off into the ref. Barton enters and slugs away at Edge while WGTT double-team Eddie, but Kidman and Rey run in and whup all sorts of ass. Eddie and Edge have a miscommunication and argue, allowing Kurt to run in and deliver the Angle Slam to Eddie and Rolling Germans to Edge because he can. Then the APA arrive from the bar and proceed to go all Drunken Master on Team Angle, but Eric turns the tide as Eddie and Edge argue to the back. Undertaker appears and evens things up as Roddy Piper calls the whole thing off at 10:00 or so. Call it **3/4 for the brawl.

- Roddy then announces what we knew all along: next week's SmackDown! will be from two locations, Wachovia Center... and the Viking Hall! Huge ECW chant for that. And the Hall will have one match, but it's a doozy: Kidman/Rey/APA/Taker v. Team Angle... in WARGAMES! He promises someone on Team Angle will pay for their brutality and their lack of humanity! "Kidman, I expect you to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and next week, you'll be all out of bubble gum!" Team Angle tries an ambush, but Kidman escapes and backflips onto all nine guys, end of show.

The Bottom Line:

Good wrestling, but not exactly the thrill ride that Vengeance was. It's good to see they're keeping the momentum up, though. Eddie and Edge looks like it'll be a forced face/face feud, and those never seem to go well, but the match will. And next week? WarGames. Heck, if DUSTY RHODES figured it out, the WWE can't screw it up, right?

Right?

*****

WWE.com

July 19, 2004

Live from the most powerful city on earth -- Washington, DC -- it's another edition of RAW on SpikeTV!

Last week, we saw Chris Jericho get manhandled in a handicap match. We also saw Christian lose a shot at the tag titles. This week, both men try to rebound -- against each other! It's Y2J and the Creepy Bastard in a main event showdown!

Chris Nowinski is on a mission to win gold, and he's apparently chosen his target: Molly Holly. What will the Intercontinental Champion have to say about that? We'll find out together when she makes a guest appearance on the show that changed her life -- RNN! Without the Rock to back her up, how will it go?

Speaking of backup, we have a huge six-man tag that will feature a huge rivalry and the people backing it up! Evolution -- Randy Orton, Batista, and Michael Shane -- square off against the team of Sting, Shawn Michaels, and Chris Harris! Who will start their momentum heading into SummerSlam? Find out along with us!

All this and more -- including a special SmackDown Your Vote kickoff campaign -- tonight at 9/8 Central LIVE on SpikeTV! Be sure to go to the First Network for Men for all the action!

[TMM]

Wahoo! WarGames! Yay! *Cough*

Looking forward to the next show, liked the little APA thing, albeit small, but the Tag Team title match just made me really wanna see it! Good stuff

[grind your soul]

WarGames in the ECW Arena? Now that sounds like an odd little thing, doesn't it?

Looks like it'll rule - especially with Noble + Dragon on the same show.

Good stuff.

[The Third Dukes]

Okay, a topic for thought, because I wanna know if it'll affect the booking...

...how would the ten men in this here WarGames match be treated by the usual suspects of the Bingo Hall? Which ones would get cheered? Booed? Told to go home? Met with silence? Et cetera?

Yes, it just might change how the match goes, since it's a one-shot deal.

[Blehschmidt]

Dukes, last few shows have been great!!

As for the Viking Hall question.....

The only one I see getting cheered is Mysterio....

[Steve Corino]

Kurt, WGTT, Simmons, Kidman and Rey would get cheered, Taker would just get booed, Eric would get silence, and Bradshaw and Barton would be told to go home.

Pretty sure that's everyone involved.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for July 19 / 04.

- Live from Washington, DC, the most powerful place on earth outside of George Zahorian's waiting room.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and DDP.

- RNN: So rather than prep for the tag match, Randy Orton does this, because it's his duty to thrill crowds like never before. There's a joke in there somewhere. We see footage of May 17 (the semi-famous Be a Diva RNN) before we are joined by our guest, Molly Holly. She says Nowinski's been getting on her nerves, so it's Nowinski/Molly at SummerSlam. Orton says Molly has already been out-smarted by Nowinski, and her days as champ are numbered. He then reminds us that Rock isn't here tonight and finds the stripper's pole from May... and, well...

Orton: "Now, Molly, I want you to understand that you still have to do this. Rock may have given you amnesty from Christian, but he sure as hell didn't keep you from doing what I say. And since this is my show, you're doing what I say. You see this? You know what you're supposed to do, right? Don't shake your head at me, missy! You have a debt to pay, and in a man's world, when a guy loses a bet, he pays up! You wanna be in this man's world? Then pay up! C'mon! You wouldn't be the first person here to use sex to get attention! You think Monica Lewinsky thought twice about what it took for her 15 minutes of fame? You think it ever crossed Chandra Levy's mind that she might get pregnant and be knocked off when she wanted to go public? C'mon, Molly -- don't look around! You're the only one here! Put on a show! I hear President Clinton's in the audience -- you might impress him enough! He does like fat chicks, you know... What? You just gonna stand there like a schoolmarm? You wanna ruin all the fun? Jackie would do it. Alexis would do it. Hell, Chynna's your role model -- and SHE did it. What are you waiting for?"

- MAJOR heel heat now. So Molly tells Orton to turn around, because she has a surprise. Orton turns around, and the surprise is ONE POLE UPSIDE THE HEAD! Bwahahahahahahahaha! Molly smashes the OrTron 6666 2/3 on the way to the back as the crowd cheers her on. She tells the camera that that's what Nowinski is headed for. Good stuff, but how long can they milk the "Molly as sweet innocent little victim" card before the crowd gets tired of it? I mean, give them credit for mixing it up -- Molly didn't have a breakdown or seem afraid at all -- but still, is she a Diva or a wrestler?

- Backstage, Alexis Laree is found unconscious as Molly wonders what happened.

- Women's title: Jazz v. Tracy. Tracy ranas Jazz into the corner and gives her a monkey flip for two. Handspring elbow is blocked, and Jazz gets a double chickenwing and German suplex for two. Jazz tries a blind charge, but Tracy rolls her up out of the corner for two. Jazz tries an STF, but Tracy blocks and reverses to an armbar. Jazz stands up, so Tracy gets a series of armdrags and a dropkick for two. Lou Thesz Press (bah gawd) leads to Pie in the Sky for the pin and the title at 3:45. Whatever. 1/2* Tracy celebrates and wants her friend Trish to come down with her, but we go backstage and see Trish has been kneecapped, Kerrigan-style. She didn't see who did it, of course. Because that's the point.

- Well, time to SmackDown Our Votes again. HHH poses with the President in a photo-op (who's the bigger politician?). They keep hammering home how close 2000 was and that every vote counts. Uh huh. From what I saw, every lawyer counts more.

- Intercontinental Title: Molly Holly v. Rodney Mack. Ah, the black man softening up the champ for the white man, with Teddy Long's approval. Isn't irony cool? Mack charges from behind and tries the Blackout, but Molly's too small and slides out of his arms. Suplex try, but Molly lands on her feet and gets a swinging neckbreaker. Mack with a CLUBBING FOREARM or two on Molly, and a slam gets one. Molly ducks under a clothesline, dropkick, Diamond Cutter, goodnight at 3:22. 1/4*

- Meanwhile, Victoria has been taken out backstage as well. She manages to say her attacker is "Chri..." before being cut off by HHH, still mad his girlfriend is out of action. He promises revenge on Christian, which is such a red herring even DDP questions it.

- Evolution v. Sting, Shawn Michaels, and Chris Harris. Huge brawl to start, and Harris tosses Shane into the turnbuckle and gets a back suplex. Batista pounds Michaels down, but he and Orton cross signals and Michaels gets a crossbody on both. Sting with a German suplex on Shane, and Harris lariats down Orton as the heels bail. Harris and Michaels dive onto them for fun, but Orton escapes and enters the ring, jumping Sting from behind (Sting had been watching the dives like the idiot he is). Orton clubs away before adding a Russian legsweep and bringing Shane in. DDP says Evolution seems lost and is in need of a leader. Like Bischoff? Oh, he's too busy running RAW. Shane with a belly-to-belly turnbuckle throw and a bulldog for two. Batista delivers the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for two. Shane and Batista get a stack Tornado DDT on Sting (!!) for two. Orton with Play of the Day for two. He works the leg while taunting Michaels, but stalls too long and Sting trips him into the Scorpion. Shane tries to break, but Michaels intercepts and gives him a Sharpshooter. Batista enters, but Harris spears him down, and HE gets the Sharpshooter as all three Evolution people are in it at once. Nice. The ref tries to restore order while Orton kicks out of his hold and gets a suplex on Sting. RKO try, but Orton's leg doesn't allow him the height. Both men hobble to the other and try a dropkick for a double KO. Hot tag Harris, who gets a crossbody on Batista and Shane and tosses Orton to the floor. Catatonic (not called as such) gets two on Shane as Batista saves. It's BONZO GONZO as Sting chases Orton to the back, and Sweet Shane Music and Demon Bomb on Michaels give Batista the hometown win at 11:04. *1/4 I don't get it. Why is Sting face-in-peril when Michaels is the best worker?

- And now Chynna's been found beaten up, which pretty much eliminates Christian as a suspect.

- DDP discusses the nature of Divas in Good Thing Bad Thing.

- Chris Nowinski emerges from the back, beaming broadly.

Nowinski: "Surprise, everyone. You thought I was just another brainiac who didn't know how to follow through? Well, after SummerSlam, I'll prove to you that I have the athleticism to back it up. But in case Molly didn't get the memorandum, let what happened tonight stand as an example of why I will be the new Intercontinental Champion."

JR: "Is he saying...?"

Nowinski: "Women are inferior fighters to men. It's not personal -- it's not sexist -- it's a fact of life. I proved it tonight. Four women are being checked out for injuries. Trish Stratus is in the hospital, and likely won't be wrestling in a ring for some time. Victoria has been knocked even more senseless than before. Alexis Laree -- your hero -- gone. Even Chynna, that bastion of gender equality, fell like a ton of bricks. And here I stand, with four knockouts, and I haven't even broken a sweat."

DDP: "He did it?"

JR: "How low is that?"

Nowinski: "You see, Molly, it will be that easy at SummerSlam. It will be unquestionably the simplest thing I have ever done. You have no recourse -- you have no option -- you only have time. And yet, even that is running out. Four weeks, dear Molly, and you go back to being just another girl. You give up this charade of being able to go toe-to-toe with men. And you join Trish and Alexis and Victoria and Chynna -- battered and broken."

JR: "What a pathetic human being."

DDP: "I'd say confident -- could be making a mistake."

Nowinski: "And for those of you who would stand up for your friends in the back, come to me. I'm still at one hundred percent, and I'm still capable of delivering a beating to rival any that your Capitals and Wizards suffer in this building on a daily basis. But there is no one -- male or female -- who can derail my momentum. I am headed for a single goal, the Intercontinental Title, and I DEFY anyone to step in right now and show that I am not worthy--"

- Did Nowinski just make an open challenge to anyone to derail his push?

- Chris Nowinski v. Triple H. JR says that Hunter has a history of stopping people's momentum before it starts. I love shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoot comments. HHH sends Nowinski to the floor, pounding on him on the outside. He takes his jacket and chokes Nowinski with a sleeve, but Nowinski backs HHH into the post. In the ring, Nowinski gets a suplex and kneedrop on HHH... kneedrop? Ain't that gimmick infringement? Anyway, it gets two. And indeed, HHH gets pissed off and USES THE KNEE~! to turn the tide. HHH goes ground and pound on Nowinski, then tosses him out of the ring and throws him into the guardrail. Back in, Nowinski catches HHH with his head down and uses his OWN facebuster against him. Oh, that's just WRONG. HHH no-sells a clothesline and slams Nowinski before getting a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for two. Nowinski sneaks in a Double Arm DDT, but the Honor Roll is blocked and HHH shoves Nowinski into the ref. Nowinski goes low on HHH and tries KICK WHAM PEDI... yeah, right. HHH tosses Nowinski into the turnbuckles and goes outside for the SLEDGEHAMMER OF DOOM. The announcers talk about how it's overkill as HHH busts up Nowinski good with the hammer and goes KICK WHAM PEDIGREE to win... oops, the ref is DQing Hunter for the hammer at 5:02. That Nowinski -- he's not Main Event Worthy. 1/2* And that might just kill the momentum Nowinski had entering SummerSlam unless he can talk his way back up.

- Sting talks to HBK about Orton, promising to rip him a new one at SummerSlam. HBK actually brings up Sting's past friendships (dropping Lex Luger's name) and asks if Harris can be trusted. "Harris knows what's in it for him if he crosses me." Ah, ol' Betsy.

- Main event (remember this?): Chris Jericho v. Christian. They've been hyping it on TV, but this is the first appearance of either man. Christian is without Chynna and fearing retribution. Jericho wins the lockup and gets a clean break before Christian peppers him with rights. Back body drop and clothesline follow. Jericho with a suplex to stop a charging Christian, then he hangs on for a swinging neckbreaker. Nice. Christian goes to the outside as Jericho gets a tope on him. Back in, it gets two. Jericho tries the facejam, but Christian shoves Jericho off and chop blocks him. Instant Psychology. Rhyno is seen taking notes as Christian kicks Jericho's leg. Christian with a leglock as Jericho makes the ropes, but Christian gets a whip reversed. Spinkick try by Jericho misses and Jericho lands awkwardly onthe leg. Christian kicks Jericho's leg out of his leg and slams his fists into Jericho's calf. Dragon screw (!!) gets two. Christian hooks a single-leg crab as we take a break. We come back with the men on the outside, and Jericho hits the STEEL steps. Funny thing about wrestling psychology: Jericho is hobbling around, not putting weight on his leg, and Christian is kicking the quad/thigh area for his part. But Jericho injured the calf, which is in the LOWER leg. I guess it's not as well protected, and anyway, the marks are playing along. Elbowdrops to the leg as we all await the figure-four. And there it is. Jericho tries to reverse, but has no strength in his legs. He scoots to the ropes instead. Christian then goes into ultra-cool, unleashing CANADIAN VIOLENCE on the leg, but Jericho gets to his feet and returns fire to Christian's chest -- which is slightly more effective. Jericho with a flying jalapeno and springboard dropkick, but Christian grabs the leg as Jericho runs for the Lionsault. Christian puts on something that I think was supposed to be an STF, but before Jericho can be forced to sell it, he cradles Christian out of nowhere for the pin at 12:55. Jericho gets no time to celebrate, though, as Rhyno appears and sticks the GOAR GOAR GOAR on Jericho. Christian, meanwhile, is despondent over losing. He shouldn't be -- his was the only halfway decent match. ***

The Bottom Line:

Bizarre show, seemingly counterproductive. Nowinski makes a great arrogant heel, but feeding him to HHH like that is way too soon. Tracy as champ doesn't do it for me, unless they're planning on playing up her friendship with Trish while she's injured. I wonder if HHH will switch girlfriends, too. Oh, and that Jericho guy won, which is a plus.

Remember, folks -- Canadian women are where it's at.

*****

WWE.com

July 22, 2004

For the first time in WWE history, SmackDown! will air from two arenas! Be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for this historic night!

Most of our matches tonight will take place at the Wachovia Center -- our first visit since the Royal Rumble. Over there, we will be treated to a showdown for the WWE Cruiserweight Title as Jamie Noble defends against the man he took it from, Ultimo Dragon! While Noble has never actually beaten the Dragon, this seems like his best chance to prove his win is legitimate. Can Paul Heyman's protege bring the Mad Scientist of ECW the gold? Find out!

Meanwhile, we will have our main event emanating from a different location -- the Viking Hall downtown, better known as the ECW Arena in its heyday! In that part of town, we will get a huge WarGames match -- the first since 2000 on national television! Team Angle faces Billy Kidman, Rey Misterio, the APA, and the Undertaker inside two rings and solid steel! Get ready for WAR!

All this and more -- including ECW headliner Rob Van Dam -- tonight at 8 / 7 Central! Be sure to Smack Your TV to catch all the action!

Edited August 13, 2004 by Dukes

[Guest y2gudge]

Looking forward to see how you write-up War Games, I would personally call for a full match write-up if possible for the match, as it looks to be good on paper.

The past Raw's and SD's have been hyping Summerslam well, but hopefully with War Games on SD! the build-up will now kick into 'top gear.'

*y2gudge*

[The Third Dukes]

(start Chapter)

Tuesday, July 20, 2004, 07:57 PM

Philadelphia, PA

We stood in the back of the most famous little place on earth -- well, for wrestlers, anyway. The Viking Hall seemed like a little place compared to the arenas many of us had sold out in our time, but to at least one person, it was home.

“It’s been far too long, hasn’t it?”

Tommy Dreamer stood in the center of the ring, holding his World Tag Team Title belt over his shoulder. Behind him was a second ring, empty, and all around him were about a thousand screaming fans. Many of them chanted “Dreamer, Dreamer!” as we watched on in the back. Dreamer smiled -- heck, he’s on the verge of crying.

“You know, three years ago I was contacted by Vince McMahon and told that I was gonna be part of ECW again. I didn’t know if I wanted to do it, cuz everything I accomplished here meant so much. I did it, though -- but never with the dream that I’d be back in the real ECW again.

Now... now I stand here, holding a WWE title, a full-time WWE wrestler, at a WWE event, but it doesn’t matter. When I look at all my friends over the years, all the nuts who made this possible... this ain’t the WWE tonight. Tonight, this is a SmackDown for E C Fucking W!”

The crowd went ballistic. It wasn’t the loudest crowd I had heard, as my memory faded back to times gone by and supershows drawing well over 40000. But it was definitely the most passionate, most emotional explosion of energy I had noted. The “ECW” chants alone sent a chill up my spine. I took a step backwards, bumping into Undertaker as I did so.

“Hey, Kid,” the Taker said. “You ain’t nervous, are ya?”

“Should I be?”

“Not every day you get to perform in front of the craziest motherfuckers on earth.”

“That’s true. But I’ll be fine.” I think.

Back in the ring, Jim Cornette had taken the microphone, ready to be the play-by-play man for the WarGames. But first, he had some business to take care of. Even though the crowd was already against him due to his constant tirades against Paul Heyman, one last bit was necessary to push it over the top. He took the feed from Michael Cole and began, not pausing to take a breath as was his trademark.

“Thank you, Michael Cole, and let me say I wish I could trade places with ya right now, because we are in the biggest little flea barn in all of Pennsylvania! We got a lotta people here who may not know wrestling greatness if it hit them over the head with a tennis racket, but they are loud and obnoxious like I’ve never heard before!”

The crowd began a “Corny Sucks” chant as we in the back laughed. It was time for the big playoff.

“Hang on, Mike... would you people show some respect for the best manager that ever lived? I’m tryin’ to do a bigger television show than this hellhole deserves right now!”

The crowd booed louder and began chanting for Heyman, expecting him to make an appearance. Too bad he’s at the Wachovia Center calling the main show with Cole. I turned to Tommy, who was watching the whole thing with a smile on his face. “So, when do they get really nasty?”

“Just wait.”

“Heyman? You think that asshole would show his sellout face in here? He took the money and ran! He ran all the way to Madison Square Garden -- all the way to WrestleMania -- and all the way to the bank! You people couldn’t save him, so he sold out! He’s nothing more than a whore for money, and you’ve all been had!”

At this point, Cornette had to stop. We all did. I nearly doubled over in laughter. It was the hardest I’d laughed since Kevin Nash made fun of HHH’s hair in his best man’s speech. The ECW Arena crowd had taken an old Stephen Foster tune and turned it into one of the most vulgar (and, therefore, hilarious) insults I had heard. A thousand or so people were packed into the place, singing in unison...

“Corny takes it up the ass, doo-dah, doo-dah,

Corny takes it up the ass, oh doo-dah day!”

No one could keep a straight face backstage. Fortunately, Cornette was able to do so. Even more fortunately, he was the only person in the ring. Most fortunately, the cameras were now off.

“Now what the hell is this all about? You have no right to make statements like that! I’m giving you till the count of five to change your tune before I walk right out of this arena and cancel the whole damn show! This is my stage now! This ain’t some pawn shop anymore -- this is the big time, and you inner city lowlifes will act like it! I am not going to be insulted! I am not going to...”

Cornette was cut off when an unfamiliar song -- to WWE fans, anyway -- played over the PA. I couldn’t place it at first, but when the familiar sound of Gene Simmons’ voice began, it hit me. This was “War Machine”. This was Taz’s music -- not Tazz, Taz.

He entered from the crowd, towel over his head, back in the familiar orange and black outfit. He stood and stared Cornette down. Cornette gulped and ran, leaving Taz all alone. He spoke.

“How the fuck are ya, ECW?”

The crowd loved it.

“I just wanna let all of you know... it ain’t today, and it ain’t tomorrow, but somewhere, the Path of Rage will run again! It’s almost time for me to go back to what made me famous -- an ass-kicking machine! Like I said in the promos, I’m going back to my roots. Well, ECW Arena, these ARE my roots! And tonight, we’re takin’ the WWE to our playground! What do you say we give them a lesson in what hardcore, in what extreme, in what true dues payin’ is all about!?”

The crowd began chanting Taz’s name.

“So tonight, you’re gonna see a lot of stars, and they’re gonna bust their asses for ya - - and when they do, you let ‘em know you love it! But if they don’t - - you better fuckin’ make sure you tell ‘em! Tonight, all youse guys are gettin’ your money’s worth, or I’m gonna go Red Hook on all their asses in the back! And when I do that, I’ll have one thing to say to them... beat me if you can...”

The crowd joined in as Taz finished.

“Survive IF I LET YOU!”

Taz walked off as the crowd cheered. In the back, I stared nervously. The bar had been set. I knew I was going to have to give the performance of my life -- even though this was only free television. I also knew I was going first. Help.

*****

08:24 PM

“Medal” played. The crowd heard it and began cheering. That was the first sign we were in for the challenge of our lives.

Kurt Angle emerged from the back and was given practically a hero’s welcome. He stepped up to the ring and smiled as he twirled. They say that even though boos are welcomed for a heel, nothing beats being cheered. I guess, having seen both sides of the equation, I’d agree. There really is nothing better than being cheered. And now it’s happening to my opponent. Oh well, guess I’ll get booed tonight unless Kurt has a home run promo in him.

“Thank you. You know, it’s truly an honor to be given such a reception in a place like the ECW Arena. A place where, no matter what, you will be recognized as a great athlete. And certainly, I am a great athlete. I am an Olympic gold medalist. I am a former WWE champion. But most importantly, I am a winner!”

The crowd applauded.

“And that makes me 100% better than anyone here in this glorified bingo hall!”

The crowd booed. Too damn easy, ain’t it, Kurt?

“Look around this pitiful city! In fact, don’t -- I wouldn’t want you people to throw up and ruin my big night. So let me set the stage by bringing out some real winners for comparison - - my team, Team Angle!”

“Medal” played a second time. Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin jogged to the ring in their velour tracksuits. Mike Barton was in full boxing regalia, as before. Eric Angle walked behind them all, slowly heading to the ring, quiet. It’s always the quiet one.

“Look at these gentlemen! Go ahead, look! You see, you have Charlie Haas here. This is a man who lost his brother way too early in life, and has re-dedicated himself to being even better! When people you don’t even know like the Eagles lose a meaningless football game, you go into shock -- this man lost a brother, and he’s a better man for it!

There’s Shelton Benjamin here. This man would be an NCAA champion if not for his teammate, Brock Lesnar -- who you will notice can’t be here tonight because of the actions of our opponents. Don’t think I’ve forgotten, Rey. He’ll throw you all the way into the Hudson Bay at SummerSlam. It’s true. And together, they are the World’s Greatest Tag Team -- and that’s not just bragging, it’s a statement of fact! They belong here, because like ECW, they were upstarts trying to revolutionize wrestling. Of course, unlike ECW, they succeeded!

And what about Mike Barton here? I know he may be the newest member of Team Angle, but he’s also a fighting man, and a true boxer. I guarantee you if he met Rocky Balboa, that fight would have been over in 15 seconds instead of 15 rounds. Rocky Balboa -- there’s another loser you Philadelphia people are proud of. So Undertaker, you bring your half-decomposed career out here, and you bring your so-called teammates, and we’ll send you back in a body bag. Tonight, someone is tapping out in WarGames, and it won’t be anyone on Team Angle. It’s true, it’s damn true!”

“Medal” played once again, but by now, the ECW faithful joined in the “You Suck” chants. Kurt walked off, smiling his smug little grin of success. Haas and Shelton followed, nodding to each other. Barton shadow-boxed on his way to the back. Only Eric showed no outward sign of anything.

In the back, Eric approached me. “Billy, I’m... I’m confused.”

“About tonight? You’ll be fine. This is your night. You’re going to...”

“No, no... it’s not that. It’s Nidia. She and I had a fight last night. I don’t know what to do.”

Oh, relationship advice. Well, I guess he came to the right place. Lindsay and I... okay, Torrie and I... have been able to patch things up.

“I’m sorry to hear that. What happened? Did she throw off the ring or anything like that?”

“No... she just... she was crying the whole time. She won’t talk to me.”

“Well, give her time. The best thing you can do is let her get it out of her system.”

“What do you mean?”

“Eric... you think life is like wrestling? I mean, I told you this already; people react, and after a time, they realize they reacted and make a decision. Either they admit they were wrong, or they change their attitude permanently, or they remain stubborn. But I don’t think Nidia’s the kind of person to be stubborn. So basically, either she’s going to come to the realization she still loves you, or she’ll realize she doesn’t. But either way, what happens, happens.”

“You’re being awfully cavalier. Why are you so certain it’ll be fine?”

“Eric, if you’re meant to be with Nidia, she’ll come back to you, right? And if you’re not, then you’re meant to be with someone else. I’ve seen a lot of people come and go, and there was a time I thought I’d be alone forever. Not anymore, obviously, but that was just a godsend.”

“She sure is...”

“Hey, not like that! You’ll understand when you meet the right one for you.”

“I guess.”

“I know. Now, c’mon... you got a show to steal.”

*****

09:15 PM

“Okay, Michael Cole, we’re back in the ECW Hellhole with representatives from both teams. I got Shelton Benjamin here for Team Angle and for Team Taker I got Bradshaw. Now, I’m gonna flip me a coin here, and Bradshaw, I want you to call it in the air. Got it? So call it!”

Jim Cornette flipped the coin as Bradshaw called heads.

“Tails is the call... and it’s heads. Team Angle wins the toss! They will have their wrestlers enter first, but as a result will also have the numerical advantage. Gentlemen, see you ton...”

Cornette got no further. As Shelton merrily walked to the back, Bradshaw grabbed Cornette by the lapel. He snorted in Cornette’s face. “I CALLED HEADS!”

“L-l-l-look, I heard what I heard, and I’m the... the official app-p-p-p-p-p-p-pointed by the WWE, so my decision is f-f-f-f-final. You lay a hand on me and I’ll make sure there’s r-r-r-r-r-repercussions for it...”

“Will ya now?” Bradshaw yelled as the crowd began to warm to him, expecting the massacre. “Well, let’s make it worth my time.”

Bradshaw slugged Cornette, flooring the former manager. He picked him up and tossed him into the ropes. Bradshaw then bounced off the opposite ropes. We all watched. Time seemed to slow down for me. Bradshaw and Cornette were about to collide.

As Bradshaw came close, he brought his arm from almost behind him to dead even with Cornette’s throat. Bradshaw threw his shoulder into the move and almost dove with it, his feet leaving the mat for a few inches. Cornette’s head bounced off the mat, while his feet went straight into the air and carried his whole body over the top and to the mat face-first. Bradshaw landed on his hands and knees, his arm having done a full semi-circular motion like a reaper’s scythe on Cornette’s neck.

The crowd let out a huge roar, as if punctuating the impact. Bradshaw stood up and spit on Cornette before raising his arm to the crowd. The APA’s music took him to the back, where we all stood, in awe of the impact he just made on Corny. As I picked my jaw off the floor, Bradshaw smiled.

“Now that,” he said, “is a clothesline from Hell.”

Faarooq spoke for all of us. “Damn.”

*****

09:29 PM

Go time! I heard my music play and awaited the introduction from Josh Matthews. I stepped out from behind the curtain and looked at the monstrosity -- a double ring, a cage, and Shelton Benjamin in the middle of it all. My face -- already adorned with Raven’s Scottish battle style facepaint as a tribute to me storyline mentor in WCW -- turned into a thing of rage. I charged the structure and dove in. The bell rang. It was time.

WarGames: Team Taker vs. Team Angle

I dove at Shelton and knocked him down with a crossbody, punching away as we landed. I picked Shelton up and, with all my might, threw him into the ropes. As he returned, I fired an elbow across the bridge of his nose. Darn, no blood. Yet. I stomped away as the crowd chanted my name, but while picking him up, I felt his forearm between my legs. I doubled over in pain just long enough, then fell on my back as Shelton grabbed my legs. One slingshot later, and I was the winner of the first trip into the cage. Nope, still no blood.

I staggered back into a superkick as Shelton kept the pressure on. Shelton went to send me into the ropes, but I saw that they were the ones between the rings. In a flash, I vaulted over them to the other ring, daring Shelton to follow me. When he did, I bounced off the ropes, catching his bent-over body in a swinging neckbreaker. I bounced to the top rope, waiting for Shelton to stand, and delivered a missile dropkick as he did so. Now. I picked Shelton up and pointed to the cage before charging it. At the last second, though, he grabbed the cage to block. Another elbow stopped me, and then the pain began. Five shots from the cage later, I was down on my face, blade in hand. There, have some blood. Happy now, mutants? An “ECW” chant started. Guess so.

I stood up, making sure everyone could see the cut on my forehead, and turned around as Shelton’s boot neared my face. I took the superkick full-on, falling to the mat. As Shelton played to the crowd, I gave the cut another swipe to be safe. Shelton turned to see me and hesitated a tad, aware I was bleeding more than he expected. As he went to pick me up, I struck, flipping him onto his back and grabbing his arm. I held the cross-armlock as long as I could, but before we could go anywhere with it, the bell rang. Kurt Angle entered the cage.

He pulled me off of Shelton, grabbing me by the hair and tossing me back to the other ring. I slowly got to my feet, turning around just in time to be hit by a Shelton clothesline off the top ropes. Into the ropes I went, courtesy Kurt, and on the rebound, the both of them scored a suplex. Kurt picked me up from behind. Oh, crap, there goes my spine. One suplex. Roll with it. Two suplexes. Roll with it. As we stood for the third, Shelton superkicked me again. I flew halfway across the ring. As they stalked me, the bell rang again. Rey raced to the cage, brandishing a chair. Saved by the bell.

I heard a crack as Rey clocked Shelton. I got up as Rey tossed Kurt the chair. He caught it out of instinct, and I dropkicked it into Kurt’s face. I picked Kurt up and pointed to my cut as I sent Kurt into the cage wall, grinding him up. I felt Shelton’s arms around my waist. He threw me, but I landed on my feet, getting a double dropkick (with Rey) on Shelton to surprise him. Rey went to the top rope and hit a Thesz Press on Shelton, but Kurt caught me from behind, just in time for the bell to ring again. Charlie Haas would be running in at any moment.

Kurt tried for an Angle Slam, but I landed on my feet. It didn’t matter, though, because Haas was right on my throat with a lariat. I fell flat on my back as Haas picked me up. “Shelton!” Oh no. Haas set me throat-first on the double ropes as Shelton bounced on my back. I grabbed my throat, not to sell, but legitimately, as the move routinely left me gasping for breath. Haas grabbed me for an inverted atomic drop as Shelton wound up another superkick. Not this time! I ducked, and as I did, I felt someone launch off my shoulders. I looked up in time to see Rey hitting a Buff Blockbuster on Shelton. No time to rest, though, because Kurt yanked my hair and pulled me back into a legitimate Angle Slam. I lay on my stomach from the bounce until I felt the Ankle Lock on, just as the bell rang. Whew, Faarooq’s on his way.

As Faarooq entered, wearing an FSU jersey for old times’ sake, he yanked Kurt off of me. I heard the thud of Kurt taking Faarooq’s spinebuster as Haas came to me. I lifted my legs just at the right moment, tripping him up. Rey had taken over on Shelton in the meantime, and we were all in position. Simultaneously, everyone grabbed an ankle lock on their Team Angle foe. I could barely hear Charlie’s scream over the huge roar from the ECW Arena crowd. What a rush! I held on as Kurt broke first. He charged straight into a Faarooq powerslam. I picked Haas up, letting go of the hold, and slammed him into the cage as the bell rang. Eric Angle was entering behind me, chair in hand. Ready, set...

I turned around just as Eric swung at me. He connected right between the eyes, and I fell flat. I slowly used the ropes to pull myself up as Kurt and Faarooq headed to the opposite ring. I saw Haas and Shelton holding Rey wide open as Eric took a few steps back. He shouted “Angle!” as he pasted Rey on the mask with the chair. I pulled myself onto the top rope, right next to where they all were, and as they celebrated and turned my way, I dove, backflipping onto all three of them. As I pulled myself up, I felt hands on my back. Kurt had changed rings again to toss me into the cage, then into his ring. As I sat there and tried to draw more blood, Kurt called Haas to follow, only to have Rey use his last bit of strength to cut him off as the bell rang. Amazing how those things get timed. Bradshaw charged the ring.

He went straight through the first ring to the second (where I was). I rested as Bradshaw opened up on Kurt, then booted Shelton, who had tried for a save. As the APA worked on Shelton, I switched rings again. Gotta help my teammate. As Kurt recovered enough to make Bradshaw bleed, I saw Eric poised on the top rope. I turned as Rey charged, and we did the Hop Up Rana on Eric. I saw a dazed Haas near a chair, so I snuck up from behind and nailed the Kid Krusher onto it. Blood for every... Ding ding! Oh, damn. Mike Barton was headed here with a second chair.

CRACK! Another chairshot put me down. I heard one for Rey as well, then saw Barton looking between the rings with my peripheral vision. I crawled to my feet and saw Barton head to Rey. He was wearing boxing gloves. As the APA were being mugged by Haas, Shelton, and Kurt in the other ring, I walked over to stop Barton from punching the crap out of my partner. Barton saw me coming, however, and turned and fired, knocking me flat on my back with a right cross. As Eric put an Ankle Lock on Rey, I counted the lights. One, two, three, four, five... Ding ding! ...six, seven, eight... wait, where’d they all go?

GONG!

Ah, of course. The lights remained out for a few seconds as I heard the cage door open and shut, with a lock being put on it. When they came back on, Undertaker stood in the far ring, attacking everyone and allowing Bradshaw to escape. Now that it’s the Match Beyond, submissions count. And Rey’s still in one! Well, okay, he was until Bradshaw went and took Eric’s head off with that Clothesline from Hell. As I made my feet, I saw Bradshaw lift Eric over his head and toss him straight into the cage. That made...

Let’s see, myself, Kurt, Haas, Eric, Bradshaw

...five bleeders. This was WarGames.

I tripped Barton up and landed my leg between his, aiming for the lower abdomen, as Gorilla Monsoon would argue. I stood back up, holding both legs, and looked around. A subset of fans saw me and whooed. The adrenaline ran through me. “WHOOOOO!” I spun and dropped, pulling my other leg over Barton’s. The figure-four, a necessity in any WarGames, was on, but Kurt saw it, switched rings, and broke it up.

*****

As it may be hard to visualize at this point, I feel I should clarify: the ring nearer the entrance has Kurt, Eric, Kidman, Barton, Rey, and Bradshaw in it. The ring opposite that has Taker, Faarooq, Haas, and Shelton in it. Follow? Good. Back to the match.

*****

I worked on Barton’s leg with a leglock, allowing me to catch my breath and watch the action. Haas and Shelton nailed Faarooq with a double suplex, then did the same for Taker. Taker sat up, though, causing Shelton to ask for backup. Kurt saw it and headed over, but Rey saw Kurt and bounced off the ropes, gaining speed. As Kurt stepped between the ropes, he got smacked in the face by Rey in a 6-1-9. Beautiful. I let go of Barton as Kurt staggered around. I timed it, then jumped and swung my legs, nailing Kurt with an enzuigiri. As Rey helped Taker and Faarooq, Barton tossed a chair into the other ring, putting one chair in each ring. I looked around. Uh oh. Bradshaw and I are 2-on-3. Not good.

I would soon learn how not good as I felt Eric grab me from behind. I flew through the air and landed from the Angle Slam as Bradshaw took one from Kurt. Barton picked the chair up -- not the easiest thing to do with gloves -- and hovered over Bradshaw with it as Kurt and Eric dragged me to the cage. I was barely coherent and bleeding heavily, but I could still see Kurt reach into his tights and pull out two sets of handcuffs. He handed them to Eric.

“You keep Kidman here,” he yelled into the camera and to Eric. “I’m gonna go win the match.”

“Why can’t I win?”

“Because I’m the captain here, and you’re the new guy. Got it?”

I pulled myself to my feet with Eric’s help. Kurt was walking over to Barton, ready to get the chair. I prepared my wrists by leaning against the top rope. Eric slapped both handcuffs onto the cage and reached for my arm. Just before he snapped it in, he paused and turned to Kurt, who was putting the Ankle Lock on Bradshaw as a referee on the outside asked if Bradshaw would tap. Eric said two words that only I and a few spectators could hear.

“Fuck this!”

He ran up to his brother and, as I watched on in shock, Angle Slammed Kurt to the canvas. Everyone in both rings stopped and, provided they weren’t selling, watched in surprise. Barton dropped his chair, a huge mistake. Eric got him next and DDTed him onto the chair before picking it up and heading to the other ring to continue cleaning house. I saw Kurt, just getting to his feet, then looked back at the cuffs. Now’s my chance.

I dragged Kurt over while Eric slammed Haas across the head and back. I lifted his body onto the ropes and grabbed one set of cuffs. I hooked Kurt’s left wrist into them, slapping them shut. I went over and did the same to his right wrist. With Kurt immobilized, I took a step back and punted him in the jewels as Shelton blocked Eric’s chairshot. Of course, this left Shelton open for Faarooq to spear him down. Taker picked Shelton up as Eric returned.

“Hey Eric! Look at this!”

Eric saw Kurt handcuffed to the cage as Taker scooped Shelton over his shoulder. I thought back to backstage, as Tommy Dreamer told us about his favorite ECW Arena moment with Raven. I remember thinking that we could re-create it, but that Taker might think we were stealing the spotlight. This was our way around it. As Taker held Shelton for the Tombstone, Eric charged Kurt, shouting “ECW” at the top of his lungs. Shelton’s head hit the mat as Kurt’s head hit the chair. The crowd was going ballistic with “ECW” chants.

In all the chaos, Haas was caught from behind by Rey. Rey spun around in a headscissors, then applied an armbar while still holding the headscissors. Haas screamed in pain, trying to drop to the mat to get Rey off of him. He rolled Rey onto his back, but pinfalls didn’t count. As I tangled Barton up and stopped him from crawling across the rings to save, I saw Haas’s hand tap the mat. WarGame Over!

WINNERS: Team Taker (28:32)

*****

12:44 AM

Torrie and I were alone in our room in the hotel. I had checked in with Heyman, who approved of the WarGames. “Hey, any time you can get the ECW Arena on their feet, you’re doing something right.” I noted the sheet with the remainder of results:

Bull Buchanan beat Rob Van Dam after interference from Steven Richards. Ultimo Dragon used Paul Heyman’s telephone to steal the Cruiserweight Title back, but Noble demanded a rematch for the next week. Scott Colt and Tajiri defeated the Maximos after Tajiri pinned Jose -- gee, more ECW guys going over. I’m shocked. Mattitude (minus Bubba Rogers) had beaten 3 Live Kru, and apparently did so to the Philadelphia fans’ approval. On top of all this, Piper had decided to stir things up and have us meet the APA next week. Glad they didn’t know that before the match.

“Honey?”

I turned around. Torrie was behind me, her hand on my shoulder. “How did it go?”

“Well... it wasn’t pretty,” I said, touching the 25 stitches I got from my over-exuberant blading, “but I think they liked it.”

“Awesome. I can’t wait to see it on Thursday. I know Nidia’s looking forward to Eric’s big turn.”

“Yeah, about that... um, Eric said he was worried after he fought with Nidia. You think you can talk to her? I don’t want to see them break up.”

“Oh, he has nothing to worry about. Nidia’s just taking a breather. She’ll be back in his arms in no time. Speaking of which...”

Torrie ran her hands through my hair and turned me to face her. “...I wouldn’t mind being there tonight.”

“In Eric’s arms?”

Torrie giggled. “You’re still a silly boy, Andy.” We kissed for what seemed like forever. She stared into my eyes. “Come on...”

“Be right there, Lindsay,” I said softly. I reached over and flipped off the lightswitch.

(end Chapter)

*****

I may or may not Virch the show. If I do, it’ll be tomorrow. Consider this a reader request. If it doesn’t make sense, go into EWBIII (check the Board Discussion, a pinned topic, and follow the links) and go do some reading. Or ask one of my Old School Readers. If they’ll still admit to it.

Either way, I hope you liked this different look.

Dukes

PS: Virch gives WarGames **3/4

[Blehschmidt]

Awesome Dukes.....Just Awesome.

Loved seeing the old school write ups again (which reminds me...GET THE LAST 2 PARTS UP!!!!)

Awesome match all around.

[Kapalua2483]

I Liked Wargames a bunch and things went well and..OLD SCHOOL YES!

[Ace]

And I have 1 thing to say...

Bring back DVS part 2 with andy and lindsay and co saving the WWE from Shane!!!!!

Seriously though i marked out like all hell when i realized what you'd done.

Now would you hurry up and post the last 2 DVS parts

[DonaldMick]

holla holla. Bring on the last two parts!

And yeah, our week wouldn't be complete without the slick stylings of Virch. I'd love to know what's pissing Virch off about WarGames though, he's declared WarGames to be a mandatory **** in the past.

[grind your soul]

WarGames **3/4? Ouch! Seemed like at least ***1/2 to me, maybe leaning upwards.