Sting is the worst ever!

[Your Mom]

Sting tops list of worst lyricists

10/08/2007 5:21 PM, Reuters

Maybe Sting should start writing more instrumentals.

The school teacher-turned-rock star topped Blender's list of the worst lyricists, thanks to lines that betray "mountainous pomposity (and) cloying spirituality," the music magazine said.

The survey, contained in the November issue that hits newsstands next week, placed Rush drummer Neil Peart at No. 2, Creed frontman Scott Stapp at No. 3, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at No. 4, and soft-rocker Dan Fogelberg at No. 5.

Blender assailed Sting for such alleged sins as name-dropping Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov in the Police tune "Don't Stand So Close to Me," quoting a Volvo bumper sticker ("If You Love Someone Set Them Free"), and co-opting the works of Chaucer, St. Augustine and Shakespeare.

A spokeswoman for the English rocker, who is currently in Belgium on the Police's reunion world tour, did not respond to a request for comment.

Blender described Canadian rocker Peart's lyrics as "richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science," and said Gallagher "seemed incapable of following a metaphor through a single line, let alone a whole verse."

Further down the ranks, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant (No. 23) was derided for his Tolkienesque musings on Gollum and Mordor in "Ramble On."

Carly Simon (No. 31) was mocked for rhyming "yacht," "apricot" and "gavotte" in "You're So Vain."

Paul McCartney made No. 38, thanks in part to "Ebony and Ivory," his socially conscious duet with Stevie Wonder.

Reuters/Nielsen

Not a fan of Sting. Was just wondering what you guys thought.

[ACCBiggz]

Fields of Gold says otherwise.

[METALMAN]

As does Nothin 'Bout Me.

On the otherhand, I agree with the high placing of Noel Gallagher. Refer to Supersonic for evidence.

[Guest Basquiat]

Anyone remember the crap boy band LFO? Did they make this list?

[Colly]

And Shape of my Heart. And surely mentioning Lolita in a song about a schoolgirl fancying a teacher is clever rather than pretentious? Do do do do, da da da da though, thats a pretty poor lyric.

What the fup is Blender anyway, because knocking Noel Gallagher is frankly wrong.

[Your Mom]

Blender is the music mag from the makers of Maxim if I'm not mistaken.

[ROC]

Wait wait wait, they put Neal Peart on the list? He may not have been the strongest lyricist, but fuck, Rush is just awesome. Oh wait, Blender, the same bold people willing to take the piss on either the most obvious lyricists (Stapp) or the ones that'll get them the most attention (Plant, Peart, Gallagher), wrote it. That explains it all.

And they actually had the nerve to put Common on the list. The jackasses.

Edited October 10, 2007 by ROC

[Lowerdeck]

Sting isn't that horrible. Not great, but not horrible. Half the rap game is worse.

[Rashid]

Didn't Blender also once rank The Doors as one of the worst bands of all time?

If so, I really can't take any opinion from them seriously.

[TheRaySays]

I'm honestly surprised Blender still exists. I thought they ceased publication ages ago.

And I can't see Sting topping a list that would have to include the likes of Toby Keith and Chad Kroeger.

[apsham]

Ugh, Blender's quite the piece of shit either way, most of the times opinions in magazines are shit, but so much so in Blender that it isn't even funny. Neil Peart? Give me a friggin' break.

[Liam]

Wait wait wait, they put Neal Peart on the list? He may not have been the strongest lyricist, but fuck, Rush is just awesome. Oh wait, Blender, the same bold people willing to take the piss on either the most obvious lyricists (Stapp) or the ones that'll get them the most attention (Plant, Peart, Gallagher), wrote it. That explains it all.

Ugh, Blender's quite the piece of shit either way, most of the times opinions in magazines are shit, but so much so in Blender that it isn't even funny. Neil Peart? Give me a friggin' break.

Gotta love fan boy reactions >_>

As for Sting, whilst The Police and Sting's solo work aren't bad per se, he isn't a particularly good lyricist. Maybe not the worst, but not very good at all.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Liam Byrne

[supergrass]

As someone who harbours quite a nice little underlying hatred for Sting, it is ridiculous to label him the worst lyricist of all time.

A bitter school teacher does not a valid 'rock'-critic make.

But for what it was, a nobody attempting to grab a headline: thoroughly good show.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Wait wait wait, they put Neal Peart on the list? He may not have been the strongest lyricist, but fuck, Rush is just awesome. Oh wait, Blender, the same bold people willing to take the piss on either the most obvious lyricists (Stapp) or the ones that'll get them the most attention (Plant, Peart, Gallagher), wrote it. That explains it all.

Ugh, Blender's quite the piece of shit either way, most of the times opinions in magazines are shit, but so much so in Blender that it isn't even funny. Neil Peart? Give me a friggin' break.

Gotta love fan boy reactions >_>

As for Sting, whilst The Police and Sting's solo work aren't bad per se, he isn't a particularly good lyricist. Maybe not the worst, but not very good at all.

How do you know they're "fan boy reactions"? I'm not a particularly huge fan of Peart or Rush, but I agree with ROC and apsham that it's ridiculous to put Peart on the list. Guess I'm a fanboy too huh?

[Liam]

Wait wait wait, they put Neal Peart on the list? He may not have been the strongest lyricist, but fuck, Rush is just awesome. Oh wait, Blender, the same bold people willing to take the piss on either the most obvious lyricists (Stapp) or the ones that'll get them the most attention (Plant, Peart, Gallagher), wrote it. That explains it all.

Ugh, Blender's quite the piece of shit either way, most of the times opinions in magazines are shit, but so much so in Blender that it isn't even funny. Neil Peart? Give me a friggin' break.

Gotta love fan boy reactions >_>

As for Sting, whilst The Police and Sting's solo work aren't bad per se, he isn't a particularly good lyricist. Maybe not the worst, but not very good at all.

How do you know they're "fan boy reactions"? I'm not a particularly huge fan of Peart or Rush, but I agree with ROC and apsham that it's ridiculous to put Peart on the list. Guess I'm a fanboy too huh?

Because there are two ways you can go with these lists. You either acknowledge that they really don't mean anything, and aren't trying to preach the gospel on muic, and will get things 'wrong', or you go the 'fuck them, fuck this shit, this is fucking wrong' route.

I'm not saying its a bad thing, I don't listen to Rush, it was just the 'fuck shit fuck' reaction was funny.

[Cactus Drags]

Incorrect. Certainly not the greatest, but he's come up with some pretty clever lines, and I thought the Lolita reference worked. What's wrong with using your superior education if you have it?

Spot on with Gallagher though.

[Liam]

What's wrong with using your superior education if you have it?

I guess its that he is using it in popular music, so it comes across as pretentious, rather than good.

[Hobo]

Clearly Classic by Adrian Gurvitz is one of the most horrible songs of all time in terms of lyrics.

Got to write a classic

Got to write it in an attic

Babe, I'm an addict now

An addict for your love

I was a stray boy

And you was my best toy

Found it easy to annoy you

But you were different from the rest

And I loved you all the wrong ways

Now listen to my say

If it changed to another way

Would the difference make it

Would it be a classic

I gotta send it right away

Expressing my words

One bridge at a time

Then tearing them up

'Cause they never rhyme

Alone in my room

So far from your love

Whatever I write

That's not good enough

And it's not what I mean

I mean it's not what it seems

I just keep living for dreams

Got to write a classic

Got to write it in an attic

Babe, I'm an addict now

An addict for your love

Gotta write it down and send it right away

Got to write a classic

Got to write it in an attic

Babe, I'm an addict now

An addict for your love

Now I'm living my life

One day at a time

Since losing your love

I've been losing my mind

No more can I see

The future so clear

And it's not what I mean

I mean it's not what it seems

I just keep living for dreams

And it's not what I mean

I mean it's not what it seems

I just keep living for dreams

Got to write a classic

Got to write it in an attic

Babe, I'm an addict now

I'm an addict for your love

Gotta write it down and send it right away

[ROC]

Wait wait wait, they put Neal Peart on the list? He may not have been the strongest lyricist, but fuck, Rush is just awesome. Oh wait, Blender, the same bold people willing to take the piss on either the most obvious lyricists (Stapp) or the ones that'll get them the most attention (Plant, Peart, Gallagher), wrote it. That explains it all.

Ugh, Blender's quite the piece of shit either way, most of the times opinions in magazines are shit, but so much so in Blender that it isn't even funny. Neil Peart? Give me a friggin' break.

Gotta love fan boy reactions >_>

As for Sting, whilst The Police and Sting's solo work aren't bad per se, he isn't a particularly good lyricist. Maybe not the worst, but not very good at all.

[apsham]

I'm not a Rush fanboy by any means, I just think that it's... impossible to call Neil Peart a bad lyricist... I'd like to see one example that would rank it on the list at all. And really, they're putting people on it based on one song... so blah, it's barely even an opinion.