Paradox games but definitely NOT GAMES OF THRONE

[Mick]

I like to think that Theon read part of Stannis's letter, and was like "Wait, brothers and sisters can do that?!". 

You got to give him credit, marrying someone he only just met . 

[Schlitzbrille]

So, I think I don't totally suck at this now.

[MalaCloudy Black]

I still suck at it but that's kinda what makes it fun for me. I come up with new ways to either be depraved (inbreeding royal families, I'm keeping it historically accurate) or I play as a count and have really fun events and other stuff happen while I'm trying to connive my way up to Duke or King level.

[Mick]

Thank you, Bobby, you're a gentleman and a scholar. 

[Mick]

Had a pretty interesting run during the War of the Five Kings

 

Started as Balon Greyjoy, I accept Robb's offer to attack Tywin. BUT FIRST---every Ironborn hauls ass to King's Landing as a raiding party, sacking the shit out of the city, leaving me drown not only the kids, but also Tyrion, yielding a very nice round of loot, but actually costing Robb the war, since Stannis took over. 

Married Theon to Sansa, and got an offer from Doran Martell to have Asha marry Quentyn. Took that, and an alliance is formed with the North and Dorne. I sack Lannisport and Casterly Rock on the way back, get even more people to sacrifice (basically all the Lannisters of Casterly Rock, excluding Tywin, now King of the Rock, and Cersei, now married off to a Khal, and Jamie, who was hung by Stannis. 1600 gold from the run, not too bad. I laugh as I watch Stannis's problems escalate, as Dany invades with her husband, Young Griff. Baelon, now secure as the Iron King, takes Shae as a concubine, and heads off to Slaver's Bay for a reaving. 

 

Where he promptly gets killed. 

Victarion takes over as the interim leader, just as Euron arrives (whom I promptly try to imprison. He flees, but he's out of the Kingsmoot). Vicatrion gets elected Iron King. 

I use my left over riches to make everyone in the Iron Islands love me, allowing me to get an Invasion CB. I choose the Iron Throne, cause why not. Pretty much nobody is siding with Stannis, and the weakened King's Landing falls again. Iron King Victarion now sits on the Iron Throne, but now he gets to deal with the Targareyan invasion. 

...Which thankfully isn't much. She's holed up in a little castle in Pentos, so I send some raiders over there. I don't have to actually besiege the city, just her castle, capture her, her and her son Aerys. I make her my salt wife after she surrenders. Young Griff goes back to the Stormlands to sulk with Stannis. 

 

SO. At this point, factions are forming up to put anybody with a claim onto the Throne, so I decide to eliminate them post-haste. Stannis gets a Faceless Man job. However, the fucker laughed after hearing "What is dead may never die", and promptly gets the kiss of life. I manage to capture him after he refuses to stand down during a war, and I drown him. This time he stayed dead  . 

 

Edric Storm isn't too difficult to pick off, and Young Griff does me the favor of behaving like Stannis and refusing to end a war. I capture him and send him off to the Wall. 

 

I was curious to see how the rest would've played out, but I quickly got bored. I love how everything just proceeded to go to shit, just because Balon had a shred of common sense. 

[OctoberRaven]

Quote

sacking the shit out of the city, leaving me drown not only the kids, but also Tyrion

 

Edited December 31, 2016 by OctoberRavenO

[Mick]

39 minutes ago, OctoberRavenO said:

 

Valar Morghulis.

[Schlitzbrille]

Current Game:
Date is June 26th 1102. Playing as King Swietoslaw of Poland, son of King Boleslaw II, who died in battle in 1083 trying to conquer Pomerania. Would've won the war had the fucker I was fighting not converted to Catholicism. 

Lost both Silesias to the HRE, Ciezyn to Hungary, and apparently Opole became independent while I wasn't paying attention. Speaking of the Holy Roman Empire, it's not as big a blob as it was after Bohemia split off. Have every intent to marry off my daughter to them (might have a few issues since she's a legitimized bastard I had with a courtier who appeared after a random narrative)

Pope Benedictus X called the First Crusade in 1097. Didn't go well, called off in 1101. I think the pope owes me a solid, considering I gave him literally the sole Catholic victory in the war and I had to literally walk my armies over considering I haven't figured out boats yet.

I'm not sure why, but my wife Zdislava was jailed at one point. Briefly contemplated execution, but I need a male heir. If my daughter and I die now, everything goes to my half-brother over in Scotland (which I will apparently inherit his holdings in his revolt there if I'm correct not that I'm contemplating planning anything )

[JasonM]

Did you start at Stamford Bridge, Viking Era, or Karling era?

[Schlitzbrille]

Stamford Bridge. Ended up deleting and am redoing the save.

[Mick]

How my current game (custom Irish earl, 769) is going at the moment: 

 

[TCO]

So this is on Steam for €9.99 at the minute, I assume it's worth that?

[Meacon Keaton]

Very much so.

[TCO]

Great, thanks!

Bit the bullet there and started the tutorial before I go near the ASOIAF mod!

[Mick]

Don't forget ALL the DLC. Well, the expansions, a lot of the flavor stuff you don't really need, but yeah, the expansions  . 

[Schlitzbrille]

I especially emphasize picking up Sunset Invasion.

Back to Poland, King Boleslaw II is a dick. Had an eleven year old assassinated so he could get around a truce, all for a single holding.

[Mick]

7 hours ago, The Handsome Luchadore said:

Back to Poland, King Boleslaw II is a dick. Had an eleven year old assassinated so he could get around a truce, all for a single holding.

Welcome back. 

[Schlitzbrille]

Background: I'm the Zelibrat Piast mentioned in the bit about the defensive pact. Fought a war like twenty/thirty years prior to get his mother Zsofia (second wife of King Boleslaw II, who died of stress since I last posted) onto the throne of Hungary. She accused me of collaborating with pirates, wrote her a letter telling the truth. She breaks our pact, I arranged an assassination attempt. People were fucking lining up to help, got to 279% plot power. First attempt (archers) failed, wasn't implicated. Second one (wine poisoning) went without a hitch.

Brother takes the throne of Hungary, and apparently I fell asleep at the wheel, because parts of my turf became part of Hungary. Now it's HIS turn to be assassinated. Met the exact same fate as our mom. All I wanted was my turf back.

TL;DR: Emperor Zelibrat, bitches.

[Noah]

I'd love to see an Ewb mod. King Ruki's lands are overrun by the dastardly @Mickbecause of widespread famine, that left him vulnerable. 

@The Handsome Luchadore does nothing to help Ruki, because he's worried Mick will no longer 'like' his parchments.

[Mick]

Was murdered by RW for bad mouthing Blackburn on January 1, 877