The Kraig

A new web series appeared!

The final is tonight, 8pm. The more I read about Eintracht, the more they seem like the perfect antagonists for Rangers. Bit worried about scenes if Eintracht win. Anyway... (A thread) Eintracht are narrow favourites. There is an obscene traveling support for Rangers (100,000+). Should also be a good game.

IT'S DONE! A penalty in extra time has us end 3-2 on aggregate, Queen's Park are off to the Scottish Championship! Back to back promotions!

A winner is you!

Airdrie are hosting the second leg with Queen's Park today. It's painfully went to 2-2 on aggregate and reaching the final few minutes of the 90. If you fancy some football play-off drama, it's on BBC Alba at the moment. Bahaha, and the ref calls full time in the middle of a Queen's Park attack, what a wanker.

It was still pants.

The Kraigy Ratings are in! Czechia: Voice: Okay. Music: Okay. Tune: Generic. Presentation: Awesome. 5/10 Romania: Voice: Good. Music: Great! Tune: Loved. Presentation: Alright. 7/10 Portugal: Voice: Enchanting. Music: Relaxing. Tune: Chill. Presentation: Simple. 7/10 Finland: Voice: Rasptastic. Music: Upbeat. Tune: Head-bobber. Presentation: BALLOONS. BONUS POINT: It's the fucking Rasmus. 6/10 Switzerland: Voice: Husky. Music: Simple. Tune: Never really got started. Presentation: Bit lame. 3/10 France: Voice: Not great. Music: Clashing. Tune: Tribal. Presentation: Meh. 4/10 Norway: Voice: Surprisingly great. Music: Pretty basic. Tune: Catchy. Presentation: Odd costuming, but surprisingly simple. 5/10 Armenia: Voice: Tremendous! Music: Weirdly familiar. Stolen? Tune: Roadtrip! Presentation: Creative! 8/10 Italy: Voice: Strained. Music: Basic. Tune: Indecisive. Presentation: A classic duet. 3/10 Spain: Voice: Great, even with the dancing! Music: Overdone. Tune: *dances* Presentation: OwO 6/10 Netherlands: Voice: Beautiful. Music: Heartfelt. Tune: Powerful. Presentation: Simple. BONUS POINT: Making Dutch sound beautiful. 7/10 Ukraine: Voice: ON POINT. Music: Funky. Tune: Hybrid brilliance. Presentation: Traditional dancing meets break dancing? BONUS POINT: Fuck Russia. 7/10 Germany: Voice: Okay, not a great delivery. Music: Disappointing after the stage set up. Tune: Weirdly familiar. Stolen? Presentation: Ornamental instruments... 3/10 Lithuania: Voice: Captured me immediately. Music: Seductive. Tune: If Lithuania has a James Bond, he needs this song. Presentation: Retro!(?) 7/10 Azerbaijan: Voice: Rough then amazing! Music: Subtly effective. Tune: Built well. Presentation: Sandow spectacular. 7/10 Belgium: Voice: Great! Music: Basic. Tune: Familiar. Reminds me of Dirty Diana for some reason. Presentation: Snooze. 5/10 Greece: Voice: Haunting. Music: Very complimentary. Tune: Builds well. Presentation: I think I'm in love. 7/10 Iceland: Voice: Whispery. Music: Dreamy. Tune: Never really gets going. Presentation: Little House on the Volcano. 4/10 Moldova: Voice: Balkan Ramones. Music: Rather repetitive. Tune: Grab your partner by the dick! Presentation: Basic for Zdob si Zdub. BONUS POINT: Not just a Eurovision entity to me. 5/10 Sweden: Voice: Weirdly familiar. Why is her voice so familiar? Music: Thumping. Tune: Nice build. Presentation: I think I'm in love again. 5/10 Australia: Voice: Powerful! Music: Basic. Tune: This almost felt a capella. Bit too vocal. Presentation: Stunning. 6/10 UK: Voice: Holy shit, this guy can sing! Music: Basic. Tune: This feels very Elton. Presentation: Spacey. 6/10 Poland: Voice: Tremendous. Maybe the best male vocalist so far. Music: Loved the mix. Tune: Really nice contrast throughout. Presentation: Kevin Dunne. 8/10 Serbia: Voice: WTF. Music: WTF. Tune: WTF. Presentation: WTF. 2/10 Estonia: Voice: Hunky. Music: Weirdly refreshing. Tune: Yeehaw! Presentation: Meh. 5/10 Somehow, that means Poland and Armenia are my overall favourites.

Zdob si Zdub are great, I remember them showing up in one of the previous years and being so confused, I already listened to them! Can't believe what a pop the UK got. It wasn't even sarcastic. I'm behind on the live feed, but all the songs will be fresh to me, even Subwoolfer's song.

Aye. Fixed. Cowdenbeath are GONE. Bonnyrigg are up!

Well, after some incredible drama, Arbroath have been beaten by 9-man Inverness after penalties. Caley Thistle will now face St Johnstone for St Johnstone's place in the Premiership. So sad for Arbroath. Elsewhere, Edinburgh City did things the hard way, by losing their away tie to Annan, but this lovely goal puts them in League One for the first time ever. The Edinburgh goalkeeper was kept busy for the remainder of the game, but they finished winners 3-2 over two legs. The big decider tomorrow? Bonnyrigg vs Cowdenbeath, can Cowdenbeath make a miraculous comeback in the second leg to prevent relegation to unknown territory? I don't reckon so. Back to you in the studio, @Kaney.

Had a quick look at the eliminated songs. I quite liked Albania, Latvia, Denmark, Malta, San Marino (had no idea they got Machine Gun Kelly in), Ireland and North Macedonia, might be time to have 30 entries in the final. The quality does seem to be better every year for Eurovision, or my tolerance for crap grows each year, you be the judges.

Stranraer vs Parth Galen. Clachnacuddin vs Cirith Ungol. Gala Fairydean vs Druadan Forest. Bo'ness vs Khazar-Dum. Deveronvale vs Rivendell. Helsmdale vs Helm's Deep. Banks o' Dee vs Crack o' Doom. And of course, Civil Service Strollers vs Paths of the Dead. Annoyingly, Queen's Park dominated, only scored once, then this happened. 1-1, but Queen's will likely see themselves as favourites after the display today.

Premiership: Celtic have regained their title as champions. Dundee go down. Kilmarnock will come up. Most interestingly, Motherwell have secured a place in the Europa Conference. Championship: Arbroath continue to fight for promotion despite being part-timers as they drew 0-0 with Caley Thistle in the play-offs. Now they have to beat Caley at home tomorrow, then face St Johnstone (who face relegation if they lose). I think it will be a miracle if they do it, but I love underdog stories like these. Especially when it's the Campbell brothers in charge. League One: I'm off to support the legendary Queen's Park, after they knocked out Dunfermline (who are now relegated from the Championship) and face Airdrie in the play-off final. Airdrie beat Montrose after extra time, 6-5 on aggregate to make it this far. I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but Cove Rangers who were previously locked in the Highland League before the new pyramid system won their first League One title to secure three promotions in four years. Legendary jobbers East Fife and Dumbarton are relegated. League Two: Kelty Hearts, formerly trapped in the East Junior (non-league) before transferring to the East of Scotland league are on a similar upwards trajectory, securing their fourth transfer/promotion in five years. Another team who have benefited from the newly implemented pyramid system are Edinburgh City, who have qualified for the play-offs for several years in a row. They have already ensured Dumbarton's relegation from League One and have a lead going into the second leg against Annan. After coming up through the Lowland League/Highland League play-off system, Edinburgh City should be experts at the whole play-off thing by now. Highland/Lowland Leagues: Bonnyrigg Rose and Fraserburgh won their respective leagues, with Bonnyrigg (Lowland) beating Fraserburgh (Highland) for the right to contest promotion to League Two. They went on to beat Cowdenbeath 3-0 in the first leg, making it almost a certain promotion. Cowdenbeath, who escaped relegation in 2018 via the play-off (against Cove Rangers no less) may be relegated below the fourth tier for the first time in their history. Fort William, somewhat famously managed by Mongolia's assistant manager Shadab Iftikhar, were automatically relegated before facing their play-off opponents due to player ineligibility. Banks o' Dee will now be promoted to the Highland League for the first time. In the Lowland League, Vale of Leithen were relegated. A round robin between the East, West and South of Scotland League Champions will take place to determine their replacement, the fixtures yet to be set in stone. And that concludes today's report, back to you @Lineker in the studio.

A stop clock seems such a simple solution, tried and tested.

FIFA and EA have parted ways (kind of). https://www.theguardian.com/games/2022/may/10/electronic-arts-ditches-fifa-ea-sports-fc And suddenly...there was hope. FIFA asking for $1 BILLION is a bit ludicrous.

Gollum Kick.

I listen to quite a lot of remixes and reorchestrations but this gave me goosebumps.

Going with good, and not great. It feels like they might have cut a lot of stuff to focus more on the main characters, which is fair enough. I saw this in IMAX 3D, which I wasn't expecting (friend booked it). I wish I could be a bit more positive, maybe watching it in 2D will make me feel a bit different, but I doubt it.

Caught perfectly.

The Geriatricos?

Bring back the Cup Winners' Cup!

Surely favourites now, no? I'd have put West Ham to win it, but Cresswell fucked it for them. Van Brockhorst deserves some real recognition. He has saved what could have been a disaster season. Wonder if Gerrard's regretting his decision to leave now.

My street is chaos...but it's worth it to hear Ally McCoist get emotional.

Rangers winning at home is pretty much expected, is it not?