Eurovision Song Contest 2021

[Lineker]

Bill Bailey has put himself forward for the UK’s Eurovision 2022 entry

[Colly]

If we cared at all you'd just offer it up to the various credible artists who already tour massive venues in Europe. There's the usual idiots saying "send Adele or Ed Sheeran", but in that slightly lower tier I'm sure you'd find a taker. Someone like a Years and Years would be ideal, a couple of years ago I thought Hurts would have been a perfect choice. Instead we send people we've never heard of, never mind Europe and whinge when no one cares.

[Bobfoc]

I'm not sure it needs to be a well known act, but the UK would do a lot better if it put forward songs of any substance. I feel as though the problem in most recent years is that the UK songs have been plodding numbers that go nowhere and have nothing memorable about them. This year's German song was bad, but it was gimmicky enough to earn a handful of points, whereas the UK entry was the sort you'd forget about immediately after hearing it.

Name value probably helps a bit, though. The UK finished 19th in 2013 with a characteristically dull song, and I'm sure it would have come last or thereabouts if it hadn't been sung by Bonnie Tyler. Similarly, Blue finished 11th in 2011 (and 5th in the televote) with a pedestrian entry.

[Roster Depth Sicko No. 2]

Can we just send Katrina and the Waves again?

[Bobfoc]

Sandie Shaw might be a better shout.

[The Kraig]

Literally any Scottish act...send Chvrches!

[JasonM]

2 hours ago, Bobfoc said:

I'm not sure it needs to be a well known act, but the UK would do a lot better if it put forward songs of any substance. I feel as though the problem in most recent years is that the UK songs have been plodding numbers that go nowhere and have nothing memorable about them. This year's German song was bad, but it was gimmicky enough to earn a handful of points, whereas the UK entry was the sort you'd forget about immediately after hearing it.

Name value probably helps a bit, though. The UK finished 19th in 2013 with a characteristically dull song, and I'm sure it would have come last or thereabouts if it hadn't been sung by Bonnie Tyler. Similarly, Blue finished 11th in 2011 (and 5th in the televote) with a pedestrian entry.

Another thing that the UK delegation seemed to forget is that presentation is one of the judgement criteria for a performance.

It really felt like "We can't be bothered, so here's a half-decent song, give us some points". Then get surprised and angry that they didn't get any point because the performance was the equivalent of a kid in art class chucking macaroni on a randomly glued piece of paper and being done with it.

As you said, the German song was awful but there's the level of gimmicky shitness that will net someone pity points.

The UK had nothing and thus they got nothing.

[GoN_]

I think I asked this before around here, but how does the UK pick their artist/song?

I ask this because here in Portugal, we have a song contest with a voting system somewhat similar to the Eurovision song contest (we have semi-finals, there's a jury and popular vote), and in the past few years (starting exactly in the year we won) there was an effort by our public channel that organizes the song contest to get somewhat popular acts to either perform or write the songs. And let me tell you, if we compare our national song contest from 10 years ago and the past 4 or so years, it is day and night in the kind of songs we see and the quality of the songs and performers.

[Bobfoc]

It's often a similar process. There's a competition with a public vote. This year, however, the BBC just selected the artist and song internally, as it had done between 2011 and 2015.

It seems that most of the UK's recent performers have been finalists in shows like The X-Factor and The Voice. With the public perception of Eurovision over here not being very positive, established acts don't tend to see entering as being worth the effort.

[Skummy]

17 hours ago, Bobfoc said:

I'm not sure it needs to be a well known act, but the UK would do a lot better if it put forward songs of any substance. I feel as though the problem in most recent years is that the UK songs have been plodding numbers that go nowhere and have nothing memorable about them. This year's German song was bad, but it was gimmicky enough to earn a handful of points, whereas the UK entry was the sort you'd forget about immediately after hearing it.

Name value probably helps a bit, though. The UK finished 19th in 2013 with a characteristically dull song, and I'm sure it would have come last or thereabouts if it hadn't been sung by Bonnie Tyler. Similarly, Blue finished 11th in 2011 (and 5th in the televote) with a pedestrian entry.

Every year there seems to be a dissection from a musical theory perspective of why we lost, and while I never really understand it, I think that's probably the lesson we need to learn.

I don't think it needs to be a big name performing, because with very few exceptions the acts put forward by other countries aren't exactly household names overseas either. While it's easy to blame politics for not getting any points from the juries, I don't think that holds weight for the public vote, nor can you really blame Brexit for the UK not getting any votes from Australia or Israel - at some point we have to accept that we're doing something wrong.

Nothing we send ever sounds either all that much like genuine "British pop music", but rather like someone has tried to manufacture a facsimile of it by committee, so it doesn't stand out the way the French entry always does as being very identifiably of its country of origin, but nor do we ever send anything that's quirky, camp Eurovision fodder with fun staging and effects. Honestly, I think we could do a lot worse than send some of the Drag Race UK contestants. 

A lot of it just typifies how we approach Eurovision in general, with a kind of sneering sense of being above it all, yet so desperate for them to love us that while we treat everyone else's entry as a bit of a joke, we're utterly po-faced and serious about our own. It's always a bit embarrassing hearing Graham Norton talk up how much the country's hopes are behind a singer who, a week ago, none of us had ever heard of, and a song we've never heard. 

[The Kraig]

I can see Lewis Capaldi doing it for a laugh.

[GA!]

James Newman shat the bed because even the UK public is a bit fed up of Capital FM, chunky white lad pop now. We never try anything that isn't designed for Mums shopping in Sainsburys.

At least Germany went with absurdity.

 

On 23/05/2021 at 07:35, Lineker said:

Ukraine was dreadful!

You're dreadful!

Spoiler

No you're not you're lovely

 

[Colly]

1 hour ago, Skummy said:

Every year there seems to be a dissection from a musical theory perspective of why we lost, and while I never really understand it, I think that's probably the lesson we need to learn.

I don't think it needs to be a big name performing, because with very few exceptions the acts put forward by other countries aren't exactly household names overseas either. While it's easy to blame politics for not getting any points from the juries, I don't think that holds weight for the public vote, nor can you really blame Brexit for the UK not getting any votes from Australia or Israel - at some point we have to accept that we're doing something wrong.

Nothing we send ever sounds either all that much like genuine "British pop music", but rather like someone has tried to manufacture a facsimile of it by committee, so it doesn't stand out the way the French entry always does as being very identifiably of its country of origin, but nor do we ever send anything that's quirky, camp Eurovision fodder with fun staging and effects. Honestly, I think we could do a lot worse than send some of the Drag Race UK contestants. 

A lot of it just typifies how we approach Eurovision in general, with a kind of sneering sense of being above it all, yet so desperate for them to love us that while we treat everyone else's entry as a bit of a joke, we're utterly po-faced and serious about our own. It's always a bit embarrassing hearing Graham Norton talk up how much the country's hopes are behind a singer who, a week ago, none of us had ever heard of, and a song we've never heard. 

That's kind of what I was getting at though, less getting someone for the name and more picking a band or artist that represents the kind of British music that is actually liked on the continent. What we sent was "one of the 7 writers on the last Olly Murs single" who basically did a b side as he'd make more money flogging anything good to a famous artist.

At this point with the cost of touring Europe for British artists a free trip to Italy would probably be fairly tempting...

[Gazz]

6 hours ago, GA! said:

UK public is a bit fed up of Capital FM, chunky white lad pop now.

I've just bought a guitar too...