The Grand Tour. (Top Gear is dead).

[therockbox]

Reminder bump: Richard drives a F1 car and Jeremy and James rampage through a historic vehicle collection attempting to find the first car with the control layout we know today.

[KoA]

For those who are hazzy, here's the main jist of what went on, in list form:

[*]Jezza drove the VXR8, which is being sold as a Vauxhall (moan) in the UK.

[*]The News (I'm not writing a whole update on that, how sad do you think I am?).

[*]Jezza and James try to find out which car was the first to use, so to speak, modern controls.

[*]The Star in a reasonably priced car was James Blunt.

[*]Hamster drove the Renault F1 car.

[*]Lewis Hamilton was interviewed by Clarkson.

[*]Clarkson sat in a BMW which drove itself around the Top Gear track through "memory". All he did was press a button on the steering wheel and off it went, he then forgot how to stop it.

It was hilarious as usual obviously. James Blunt insulted his own songs and was insulted beyond belief by Clarkson. Clarkson referred to Hamilton as "the first 8 year old too drive a Formula One car". Not in those words, that's just my memory talking, but it was something along those lines.

So yeah, discuss and give us all something to do!

Here's the official recap from the Top Gear webiste...

On go-go-go Top Gear, we went F1 crazy when Lewis Hamilton paid a visit to our test track, possibly to steal the design for our Suzuki Liana, but probably not. Also, Richard drove Fernando Alonso's (boo, hiss) ex-company car, Jeremy and James went in search of the grandaddy of the modern car, and Jeremy rode the Thunder from Down Under - Vauxhall's new Aussie VXR8.

These days we're often told Formula 1 drivers are a special breed of motoring ubermen, and that driving a modern F1 car requires the reactions of a housefly and the strength of ten tigers. So when Renault offered us a go in its 2005 championship-winning R25 racer, we sent Richard along to find out how a normal-ish bloke would fare.

Now, given that the R25 has somewhere in the region of three times the power-to-weight ratio of a Bugatti Veyron, you'd expect the drive to be pretty vivid. And it was, very. Fernando, Lewis and the rest suddenly seemed worth their wages.

Anyone who's driven a car knows the standard controls layout: handbrake and gear stick in the middle, and three pedals on the floor. But it hasn't always been that way. Jeremy and James set off to the National Motor Museum (a sort of total immersion therapeutic retreat for British car nuts) to find the car that gave us the blueprint for what we all drive today. In the end they decided the little Austin 7 was the true genesis of the modern motorcar.

The launch of Vauxhall's Aussie-sourced VXR8 super-saloon was always going to be a cue for Clarkson to do a few very smoky laps of our test track, while merrily spouting one-liners about barbeques and rotary washing lines. And our resident master of cultural commentary didn't disappoint. The car was pretty good too.

First shown on: 02/12/2007

[stokeriño]

Am I sad for finding the bit on old cars' control systems really interesting?

[KoA]

Hell no, I did too. I found it funny when they couldn't find the brake on that car...Can't remember which it was...

[stokeriño]

Thing is, technically Hamilton beat The Stig (on a wet lap) round the track. That can't be allowed to happen - it breaks all sorts of kayfabe. >_>

[KoA]

You mean he beat Damon Hill? That's who I think The Stig is anyway, don't know if he was who you where referring too...

[stokeriño]

No, The Stig's also on the F1 leaderboard (at the top of course, 0.3 seconds ahead of Hamilton, but he did it in the dry).

[KoA]

I know The Stig is on the board...

I see where you're coming from now. You mean if Hamilton was dry he probably would have beaten the Stig.

[stokeriño]

Quite so. >_>

[GA!]

Probably by at least half a second too.

I'm looking forward to seeing next week's episode with the 24 hour race. I seem to remember Richard Hammond's latest crash got a bit of press when it happened.

[KoA]

Yeah, I think it was only a spin on the Top Gear track though...So nothing major.

[Skummy]

I found the last episode really underwhelming, actually. The old cars bit was fun, but had a lot more potential; James May + the first car ever made should equal absolute comedy gold, but it didn't quite get there. The rest was too "Rarr, engines!" for my tastes, seeing as I don't actually care about cars.

Although I did find myself actually liking James Blunt for being a good laugh, especially when asked about taking the piss out of his own songs he said "well, have you heard them?".

[Turbo Yannis]

I found the last episode really underwhelming, actually. The old cars bit was fun, but had a lot more potential; James May + the first car ever made should equal absolute comedy gold, but it didn't quite get there. The rest was too "Rarr, engines!" for my tastes, seeing as I don't actually care about cars.

[Skummy]

To be fair, though, your average episode of Top Gear consists of 10% scripted bickering, 20% grad filters, 30% "...and then there's the engine...", and the remaining 35% could be a world of awesomeness or could be the presenters making increasingly tired in-jokes (lol, James gets lost) and laughing at each other's horsepower or something. The missing 5% left over is to leave room for Clarkson to squeeze in some middle-class prejudice.

[therockbox]

On at nine tonight, they're taking part in a 24-hour race apparantly using the fuel they planted last series.

[KoA]

Oh god...This is going to be so awesome.

For the record, I do remember that last week they said James got lost twice (I think). So yeah, this should be hella funny.

[Slogger]

What episode do they say, "We've been sold to Australia", they say something about Ford being American too, Any idea?

[stokeriño]

It was only a couple of weeks ago: season 10 episode 7. The episode with the British Leyland cars.

What did you say? You're no good at rugby and we've beaten you twice in the World Cup?

Edited December 18, 2007 by stokeriño

[Slogger]

No, I was watching an old ep. and in an ad they showed that clip.

Apparently we are getting our own version of TG here.

[stokeriño]

Presumably you're getting the 'Best of' mixes that on all the time on Dave in the UK but are far inferior to the real episodes.