EWB's Favourite 102 Artists for 2009!

[YI]

65.

64. BOB DYLAN (26pts - 7 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #15

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 34

RANDOM NEWS STORY: http://www.clashmusic.com/news/bob-dylan-police-drama

64. THE SMASHING PUMPKINS (26pts - 7 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #25

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 7

YEAH SOMETHING: BOOKAH!

63. PENDULUM (26pts - 9 | 4)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: Australia

STUDIO ALBUMS: 2

GUESS THE SONG: bum - chhh - - bum chhh - | bum - chhh - - bum chhh - | bum - chhh - - bum chhh - | bum - chhh - - bum chhh -

62. COHEED & CAMBRIA (28pts - 8 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #6

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 4

GOOD EYE, SNIPER: I like that song and a few more, and I do like trying to do impressions of his voice when drunk

61. FALCO

OKAY, ALRIGHT...IT WAS A TIE

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

But WHAT a tie!

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

I really think Bob Dylan's newest album is his best work yet.

[GA!]

Limp Bizkit are diabolical. A seriously fucking dreadful band. I can't say anything about them that hasn't been said before, and I'm too tired to be quite as angry as they usually like me, but it's just shit. They're terrible at rock music, terrible at metal, terrible at rap, what can they actually do well? Fuck all. Also they had that hideous song on "Chocolate Starfish" that purposefully just said the word "fuck" as many times as possible, which everybody at school thought was hilarious, and I found it embarrassing even then. Also, terrible Who cover, makes me vomit.

IF I SAY FUCK TWO MORE TIMES

THAT'S FORTY-SIX FUCKS IN THIS FUCKED UP RHYME!

[Skummy]

Precisely.

Bobby Dylan's good (I wish I could sum up all academic discourse on his work with that phrase). I don't think he's quite as good as many people seem to think he is - he's certainly not infallible, and the existence of "Dylanology" is absolutely absurd, but he is very very good, and holds an utterly unique place in the culture of the latter half of the 20th century. His radio show is brilliant, too - and I like that he finally just seems to be letting himself have fun these days, it makes him seem so much more human and likeable. I do think that people over-evaluate his lyrics - a lot of them are just nonsense. There's no deeper meaning. You only need to read his "novel" to know that. He just had this habit of writing vaguely profound sounding nonsense, and then throwing in a genuinely brilliant and insightful line which made the whole song seem like something truly incredible, and made people assume that it must all be equally enlightening. That's my theory anyway, and I'm sticking to it. Bloody brilliant, in any case.

Smashing Pumpkins, gone off them. Had some okay songs, but nothing spectacular. Liked them when I was an angsty teenager, barely even remember that they exist half of the time now (as I write that, a Billy Corgan solo track comes on shuffle >_>).

I've never seen the fuss about Pendulum, I don't really see what makes them so much different than the rest of their ilk, but somehow they're the dance act that it's "okay" for heavy metal kids to like, or something. Bloody good live, mind you.

Couldn't give a toss about Coheed & Cumbria. Which would be a much better name. They're like a sillier Rush - and that's an accomplishment in itself.

[New Damage]

IF I SAY FUCK TWO MORE TIMES

THAT'S FORTY-SIX FUCKS IN THIS FUCKED UP RHYME!

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Edited November 13, 2009 by TheModernWay

[YI]

60.

59. MARILYN MANSON (28pts - 9 | 5)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 7

WHAT A BELLEND: I mean, seriously!

59. RYAN ADAMS (28pts - 9 | 5)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 7

FUCK YOU RYAN ADAMS: ...FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! LIKE, HOW!!?!?! SERIOUSLY!!! HOW!?!?! FUCK YOU!!!

59. SUNSET RUBDOWN (28pts - 9 | 5)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: Canada

STUDIO ALBUMS: 4

I LIKE THEM: ...but it does sound like a gay PPV channel on Sky.

58. COBRA STARSHIP (28pts - 10 | 4)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 3

WHY DO PRETTY GIRLS ALWAYS HANG OUT WITH ABSOLUTE FUCKING BELLENDS?: ...I miss Midtown. ..."I'M NOT STREET BUT I DO WHAT I GOTTA DO!! SO WHAT YOU GOT A CREW!! I GOTTA CREW TOO!!"....HAVE YOU HEARD HOW WHITE YOU SOUND YOU FUCKING PRICK!?!?!

57. EMINEM (30pts - 8 | 7)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

NOW THIS!: ...this is a real black man.

56. THE FALL (30pts - 10 | 5)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: England

STUDIO ALBUMS: 27

MARK E. SMITH: is one delightful looking human being. He looks half troll half basset hound.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Ooh, five people I don't give a caramel-covered crap about.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

Haha, MEG and I got Sunset up there! Excellent! You should all listen to them.

Also I agree with YI, fuck Ryan Adams. Jack Johnson too. Even if he wasn't in this five.

[YI]

55. QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE (32pts - 8 | 8)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #21

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

DU-DU-D-DU DU-DU-D-DU: DU-DU-D-DU DUUUU-DUUUUUUUU!!!

54.

53.

52. DREAM THEATER (32pts - 10 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #69

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 10

TALLY OF ARTISTS THAT MY DAD LIKES: 3

52. THE LIBERTINES (32pts - 10 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #28

COUNTRY: England

STUDIO ALBUMS: 2

SHE WAS GETTING PALLY WITH A SCALLY IN THE ALLEY GIVING HEAD FOR GEAR: She calls a spade a spade, got slit from ear to ear

52. SAY ANYTHING (32pts - 10 | 6)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #40

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 3

I CALLED HER ON THE PHONE AND SHE TOUCHED HERSELF: She touched herself, she touched herself

51. THE ARCTIC MONKEYS (33pts - 8 | 2 | 1)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #19

COUNTRY: England

STUDIO ALBUMS: 3

WHAT CAME FIRST THE CHICKEN OR THE DICKHEAD?: ...yes it makes no sense, but fuck me that line's the best thing about the new album

Edited November 15, 2009 by YI

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Ahhh Queens of the Stone Age. Excellent.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

...okay that last five is actually great. Didn't vote for any of them but like all of them at least a little bit.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Pete Doherty looks like a massive nob in that picture.

[YI]

Carl Barat looks like Dragsy in that picture.

[Emperor Fuckshit]

If the world consisted only of Fall fans, it would be virtually utopian. Other bands to which this applies: Propaghandi, Half Man Half Biscuit. I think those are the only ones.

[Rich]

If the world consisted only of Fall fans, it would be virtually utopian. Other bands to which this applies: Propaghandi, Half Man Half Biscuit. I think those are the only ones.

I would be undoubtedly perturbed to find myself living in such a “utopia”. I feel that such a society would be airing on a population filled with Machiavellian individuals who no doubt would be deceitful, callous and hypocritical. All acting in such a way that society itself would crumble due to their actions due to it suffocating under its own pompous, contemptuous attitudes.

I wouldn’t be so cavalier to think so much of my own tastes and persuasions that the world would be superior should all my peers be exactly the same as myself. As the British statesman and philosopher Francis Bacon stated, “Nothing is pleasant that is not spiced with variety."

[NobBe Nobbs]

Summary: It would be shit because living in a world where you are the dominant lifeform would indeed be Hell.

[Emperor Fuckshit]

I would be undoubtedly perturbed to find myself living in such a “utopia”. I feel that such a society would be airing on a population filled with Machiavellian individuals who no doubt would be deceitful, callous and hypocritical. All acting in such a way that society itself would crumble due to their actions due to it suffocating under its own pompous, contemptuous attitudes.

If this is an attempt to parody my writing style, then you need to brush up a bit. "Airing on a population"? "[D]ue to their actions due to it"? Good Lord, man -- that is not English sentence construction.

I'm not sure what exactly about The Fall or their fans makes you think that a realisation of, like, The Fall Programme (the very existence of this is dubious, which is one of the main reasons why I think it should be obvious that I was joking in part) would lead to a society that was "deceitful, callous and hypocritical." I think that any discussions of MES' politics begins with a reference to the fetishisation of the working-class in a way that is anti-bourgeois but also non-Communist.

I wouldn’t be so cavalier to think so much of my own tastes and persuasions that the world would be superior should all my peers be exactly the same as myself. As the British statesman and philosopher Francis Bacon stated, “Nothing is pleasant that is not spiced with variety."

This is an interesting issue, and one that I was thinking about yesterday and which prompted me to make the above comment. In his interview on "The Culture Show", the Standard Bint who was struggling to make something presentable of the spectacle asked MES if he thought that The Fall were "the best band in the world." To which MES replied, "yes."

There seems to be an idea that one doesn't say a thing like that. It seems like that unease should be a product of "British" modesty, and maybe it is in part. But I think it's maybe more to do with the ascent of liberalism and individualism in all facets of life -- the "democratisation" of culture in which there's "something for everyone." That's a noble principle to a degree. Obviously a world in which all bands were xeroxes of The Fall (which is something slightly different than we were originally talking about, but I think that the two things are related) would exhibit certain cultural limitations. A lot of genres would fall by the wayside (although quite a multiplicity would continue), and the themes dealt with by artists would also narrow.

But aren't there aspects of musical production and articulation which it's virtuous to get imperious about? I have no problem with saying that, yes, I would like to see all bands take up social and political issues at least partially in their songs (as MES does even if in a slightly circumlocutionary way). And, yes, I would like to see all bands exhibit the hardcore suspicion about the music industry and the media more generally (as MES does). I'd like all bands to be as funny and knockabout as The Fall are (or can be.) Fuck, ideally I'd like to see all music labels adopt parecon, as G8WC has. (And even that might only be a starting point...) I am comfortable with the implications of this -- i.e. that there would be no more Arctic Monkeys, no more Warner Brothers, no more Radio One, etc.. That would be fine.

I think that this brings us back to what a Fall Republic would look like. It most definitely would not be "liberal" in the most specific sense of the term. And, again... good thing in my eyes. The language of prescription can never just be sloughed off -- even an opposition to imperiousness is a statement in favour of liberalism.

I mean, even the Argentinian political theorist Ernesto Laclau knew that. Winkz.

Summary: It would be shit because living in a world where you are the dominant lifeform would indeed be Hell.

Only for pig ignorant dullards like you, lover.

Edited November 15, 2009 by Emperor Fuckshit

[YI]

TOP 50 TIME! Because I feel sick and came home from the pub like a big girl.

50. JUDAS PRIEST (34pts - 9 | 8)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: England

STUDIO ALBUMS: 16

TALLY OF ARTISTS THAT MY DAD LIKES: 4

49. KISS (34pts - 10 | 7)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 19

EUGH: ...

48. WINTERSUN (36pts - 9 | 9)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: Finland

STUDIO ALBUMS: 1

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GAME: AND HOW YOU PLAY IT!

47. NIRVANA (36pts - 10 | 8)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #24

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 3

WHITE CAN DO THIS, HE'S JUST ABLE: Cos there's 13 left on the table!

46. GUNS N' ROSES (38pts - 10 | 9)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #33

COUNTRY: United States

STUDIO ALBUMS: 6

WELL: Thank fuck they're out the way

Edited November 15, 2009 by YI

[King Ellis]

Sounds more like a fruitopia.

Also, why are KISS with Lewis Hamilton?