EWB's Favourite 102 Artists for 2009!

[YI]

100. COLDPLAY (6pts - 2 | 1)

COUNTRY: England

PLACE LAST YEAR: #99

STUDIO ALBUMS: 4

SONGS ABOUT JANE?: 0

100. ELECTRIC SIX (6pts - 2 | 1)

COUNTRY: United States

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

STUDIO ALBUMS: 7

WAIT!! WHAT!?!?! SERIOUSLY!??!: Well, one is a b-sides collection...good fun live!

100. JIMMY EAT WORLD (6pts - 2 | 1)

COUNTRY: United States

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

STUDIO ALBUMS: 6

GENRE: Slow Motion Scene (Often Involving Running) On A Teen Drama Soundtrack

99. R.E.M (8pts - 3 | 1)

COUNTRY: United States

PLACE LAST YEAR: #95

STUDIO ALBUMS: 14

WOULD YOU LIKE SPRINKLES ON THAT?: Fuck off, do I look like a prick?

98.

97. CRYSTAL METHOD (10pts - 3 | 2)

COUNTRY: United States

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

EMBARRASSINGLY, THE LENGTH OF TIME IT TOOK ME TO 'GET' THE NAME?: 40-minutes

97. JIMI HENDRIX (10pts - 3 | 2)

COUNTRY: United States

PLACE LAST YEAR: (pretty sure he was on it, but the threads being a cunt and not letting me search at the minute)

STUDIO ALBUMS: 3

QUOTE: I'm gonna put a curse on you and all your kids will be born completely naked

96.

Edited November 5, 2009 by YI

[YI]

Yeah, discuss and all that shit.

[Gazz]

Needs less Coldplay. I'd buy #96.

[LittleDaniel]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I get it now!

[METALMAN]

right i said i would do this tomorrow but it helps put off work for even longer. Whenever I say anything assume it is my opinion. I'm just going to declare stuff and say it's true because it's more forceful and makes me seem like more of a dick.

Coldplay - incredibly dull boring floppy dick music of the highest order. Brothers and Sisters, Don't Panic, In My Place, a fair chunk of their most recent album barring Viva La Vida and talk all range from decent to very good however. Chris Martin's falsetto may well be the lamest, most irritating sound in music and for that, more than anything else, I hate him and his band.

Electric Six - I only know two songs by them. the obvious two. Both used to be fun but they're fairly dire now. Based on that I will just say they are shit.

Jimmy Eat World - Futures is alright in places. Everything else is mostly shit. "Sweetness" and "Pain" are wonderful however.

REM - I actually really like them. they've managed an impressive level of consistency over the last 25 years or so, with their latest album being rather quite good. Murmur and Document are fantastic albums from a very impressive period in the 80s and although they weren't quite as good in the 90s the likes of "Monster" and "Automatic..." showed they were still a very strong band indeed. Understandably criticised for a lack of advancement in their sound. I still love them however. Favourite song being a tie between "Catapult", "Cuyahoga", and "Orange Crush".

Crystal Method - I do not know but they are probably shit and definitely shouldn't be above REM.

Jimi Hendrix - Absolutely fan-fucking-amazing. Seriously. I was so close to voting for him. Has aged rather badly(an argument I hate, but never in the case of Hendrix), but that is more down to the production than the music - "Axis" and "Electric Ladyland" have so much phasing that it sounds it was recorded underwater, which is why I prefer his phenomenal live recordings in a number of cases. Music was spot on though and - futile as it sounds having not been there - I do feel it defines a time and a place better than any album released before or after. Not to mention he was responsible for the two best songs of the 60s - Little Wing and All Along the Watchtower (I know Dylan is technically responsible for that but you know what I mean). I could go on about Jimi Hendrix for pages. Simply wonderful.

HEY LOOK AT ME ONLY LIKING THE OLD BANDS I ONLY LIKE OLD MUSIC

[TheRossWalker]

Coldplay have, erm, one decent album.

haha, no way do Electric Six have 7 albums.

JEW are great, though I haven't listened to them for ages.

Crystal Method, no idea.

REM and Hendrix, I've heard the "big" songs but never really bothered with them, probably deserve to be in a top 100 list though.

Needs more fit birds. In addition to novelty ties, not instead of. Combine the two if possible.

[LittleDaniel]

Fit enough?

[YI]

95. PINK FLOYD (12pts - 3 | 3)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #18

COUNTRY: England

STUDIO ALBUMS: 14

ALBUMS I'VE ACTUALLY LISTENED TO: 3

95. REGINA SPEKTOR (12pts - 3 | 3)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: Russia

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

WHERE SHE STANDS ON THE HEAP-MOORE SCALE?: Around a 3...although a bit higher when she doesn't decide to look like a fetish film whore

94. PEACHES (12pts - 4 | 2)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: Canada

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

WHERE SHE STANDS ON THE GAGA-SAVAGE SCALE?: 9...incher

93. FOO FIGHTERS (12pts - 5 | 1)

PLACE LAST YEAR: #17

COUNTRY: America

STUDIO ALBUMS: 7

NUMBER OF INTERESTING FOO FIGHTERS ANECDOTES?: 0

92. DEVILDRIVER (14pts - 4 | 3)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: America

STUDIO ALBUMS: 4

NUMBER OF MEMBERS WHO LOOK LIKE BALDRIC FROM "BLACKADDER"?: 1 (tied with System Of A Down)

91. DEFTONES (14pts - 5 | 2)

PLACE LAST YEAR: n/a

COUNTRY: America

STUDIO ALBUMS: 5

NUMBER OF MEMBERS IN A COMA?: 0

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Oooooh Peaches! That's a pleasant surprise!

[YI]

I will say...this year the list's kind of fucked up. With certain things seemingly ridiculously high, certain things ridiculously low and certain things...which can only be described as "WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?!?!"

[NobBe Nobbs]

WHERE SHE STANDS ON THE HEAP-MOORE SCALE?: Around a 3...although a bit higher when she doesn't decide to look like a fetish film whore

Heap-Moore Scale: Define. I have a friend who bears a big enough resemblance to her that other people have commented on it and so it's not just me who sees it. She's pretty. Spektor too.

[YI]

Imogen Heap(0)-Mandy Moore(10).

And I think Spektor's pretty, she looked fucking banging in that video that got a bit of play over here (where she was throwing paint about or some shit)...she just tries her fucking damndest not to show it...kind of like Emily Haines used to until they sexed her up for the last Metric video.

Edited November 5, 2009 by YI

[NobBe Nobbs]

Imogen Heap(0)-Mandy Moore(10).

Point understood (and Gaga-Savage is...like, how passable a tranny is? I hesitate to ask which of the two you think looks less like a man) but Heap is by no means a zero. P.S. Exactly where does Spektor look like a fetish film whore? I need to see this for myself. For evidence. Yeah.

[Dingle]

Emily Haines is fucking gorgeous. If only Imogen Heap's face lived up to her voice

[hackerjack]

How bad a day am I having that it took me over an hour to get the ties?

Anyway I want the Pong one, I already have something like the other one, not that I wear the bloody things but they look cool hanging in the office.

[YI]

Yeah, but have you seen older photos of her...she looks like she'd slice your cock off in a bar fight.

And Heap isn't 'absolute 0' (it'd be the Ditto to Moore scale then)...this is getting far too complicated.

And Savage of course is the 10. Gaga's quite fit, when she's not dressed as a futuristic whore...actually she's always dressed like a futuristic whore...but she's quite fit.

And the fetish film whore comment is in regards to how she basically seems to wear dark lipstick, silly Russian hats and big coats and shit in half of her photoshoots.

Okay...my thoughts on the bands so far;

Coldplay - I really liked the last album and still give it the odd listen. Outside of that I only like "The Scientist", "In My Place" and the end of "Fix You". There's better bands to be here, but I did enjoy the last album.

Electric Six - 6 studio albums!??! WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Yeah, when I go see a band I tend to try and learn as much as I can beforehand...I couldn't do that with Electric Six. Were still really fun though, even outside of the obvious.

Jimmy Eat World - The definition of a hit & miss band. Half of their stuff is absolutely brilliant, the other half is so fucking shit it's painful. "Futures" is literally split, first 6 songs AWESOME, last 5 FUCKING TERRIBLE. Their last album was their best, "Here It Goes" is their best tune as well. They've seemed to have filtered out the vast majority of the "really shit slow song" tracks, but a few still miss the mark.

R.E.M - My knowledge of R.E.M is rather limited to singles, "Murmur" and "Automatic For The People". It's nice, but not the kind of thing I can really see myself getting into. AFTP is great study music.

Crystal Method - I ended up on their myspace a few months ago...I never downloaded anything by them...didn't make an impression.

Jimi Hendrix - My brother likes Hendrix. He made me download most of his stuff, but honestly, I've never really got round to listening to it.

Pink Floyd - Despite only having a few albums I really like then. But still, there's just so much to choose from I don't know where to go next (aka. The Mountain Goats factor).

Regina Spektor - Cute, dainty pop songs. Good for what it is, but there's other artists I prefer much more.

Peaches - I downloaded "Impeach My Bush"...I didn't like it.

Foo Fighters - THERE GOES MY HEEEROOO!!! = their only good song, ever. Seriously. Foo Fighters is the kind of rock music people like before they like rock music.

Devildriver - I honestly have no idea.

Deftones - Angsty younger days, one of the first alternative bands I got into. Were good at Leeds Fest this year, despite not doing a few songs I wanted to hear and me catching them straight after band of the festival, Streetlight Manifesto.

[METALMAN]

right here we go.

Pink Floyd - A band I would never say I outright like or dislike. I liked their Syd Barrett stuff. the Piper at the Gates of Dawn is an excellent album and their best by some distance. Saucerful of Secrets is good but less good. Em...then they released three albums of shit. Although I still hear "Meddle" a lot because my girlfriend has some inexplicable love for it. Particularly Echoes - which just bores me. My theory is her dad forced her to listen to it as a child until she started liking it. Now she's trying to do the same to me.

Dark Side of the moon is actually okay. By no means the masterpiece people say it is but the likes of "Brain Damage", "Us and them" and "Great Gig in the Sky" are perfectly reasonable. A good album but by no means great.

Wish You Were Here is their best post-Barrett album. Shine On You Crazy Diamond is their only good really long song.

I actually loved the concept of the Wall - however up itself it may have been. Pity the songs were so dire. Except Comfortably Numb which is fantastic and David "the devil" Gilmour singing it from the top of the wall is as epic as the show got.

Following that they were totally shit except from "Learning to Fly" which is one of my favourite songs ever. Although I secretly know it's dreadful.

Oh and to finish up - Pink Floyd have never not written shit lyrics. And yes - I have listened to all their albums. Not of my own volition however. :/

Regina Spektor - another one I have heard lots of down to girlfriend obsessions. eh...Soviet Kitsch and Begin to Hope are cool. Been meaning to hear her new album. Haven't got round to it. Not a favourite of mine but good fun.

Peaches - not for me thankyou.

Foo Fighters - they're not that bad. My Hero is good. I also like Low and times like these. Acoustic album thing (the live one) is good fun. However they are mostly dull. I can't hate them though. they're a good "gateway" band.

Devildriver - I bet they're absolutely shit.

Deftones - A band I pretended to like when I was like 11 cause it was cool to like them then. I never liked them though. they are a bit awful.

[Skummy]

I don't like Coldplay. They're horribly dull, and write dreadful lyrics, but I can't find the energy to get genuinely annoyed by them any more, they're just an unfortunate fact of life.

Electric Six are good fun, though even counting material recorded as The Wildbunch, I'm amazed they've recorded that much material. I like them, but I can't imagine them being in my top ten favourite bands, so it's a little odd to see them up here.

Jimmy Eat World just seem a bit naff. They're ploughing a musical furrow I don't really "get", though.

Not a big fan of R.E.M, always found them horribly over-rated and responsible for that peculiarly American phenomenon "college rock" that I've never quite understood. Some good songs, though.

Who the bloody hell are Crystal Method? Am I missing something? Because I have never heard that name before in my life.

Jimi Hendrix is good. He was one of the best guitarists of all time, which doesn't really count for much in my book, but he knew what he was doing with it too - showed off too much with it, but he could write a good song, and work his way around someone else's song beautifully, which the likes of Steve Vai and Yngwie Malmsteen could learn something from. His versions of Watchtower and Like A Rolling Stone are fantastic, and I love his version of Sgt. Pepper too. Good stuff. Not one of my favourites, but someone I always enjoy listening to.

Pink Floyd. Hmm. I love, and at one point nigh-on idolised, Syd Barrett. As such, I think Piper At The Gates Of Dawn is incredible - any other band would kill to have a song as good as Astronomy Domine or Lucifer Sam, both of which are ludicrously ahead of their time, and Bike practically launched the lo-fi/anti-folk sub-genre all on its own. "A Saucerful Of Secrets", "Ummagumma" and "More" aren't too bad either, but even that early you can see signs of how interminably wank the band were about to become - they're just a byword for the worst kind of rock music excess, making it something decidedly middle class and exclusionary, and mistaking indulgence for experimentation, when early on they were genuinely pioneers, and making some of the most interesting music around. "The Wall" is a fucking terrible record, the only thing worse is "The Division Bell".

Regina Spektor. She's nice enough.

Peaches. Not as good as she thinks she is. Some good songs, but it's quite sad that in 2009 people can still be shocked so easily by a woman talking about sex.

YI got Foo Fighters spot on. They're either a "gateway" band, or the rock band for people who don't like rock music. They're an incredibly dull band, and I couldn't tell any single they've released in the past five or six years apart from each other, and even before that they only had a handful of good songs. "Big Me" is class. I wish I could find it in my heart to genuinely dislike them, but Dave Grohl seems like too much of a lovely chap.

Devildriver, because Coal Chamber weren't dire enough by themselves.

I have never "got" Deftones at all.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

Big ups to REM, one of my all-time favourite bands and pretty sure they were on my list. A lot of people who don't like REM have probably never gone past the singles - or tried to and been turned off by the elitism of most REM fans. Really they've just had such catchy music in diverse genres that you can't help but eventually find something you like, whether it's the 80s jangle pop, Monster, or the electro shit of 'Up'.

Also like Pink Floyd although I find them overrated, Hendrix should be higher, Coldplay and Jimmy Eat World are bands I'm slightly positive on that were going to be on that list no matter what, Foo Fighters are the less crappy American version of Nickelback, and I don't know the rest.

Regina is horrid though.

[Jimmy]

Not a bad list so far. Can't say I know them all; but it was good to see Coldplay make it. I'm not a massive fan, but there's four or five tracks that are really good; the scientist being my favourite. I'm not a fan of REM and I can't really stand The Foo Fighters. Well, I can. I just think they're horribly overrated. I can't believe that Electric Six have 7 studio albums! But their two well known songs are good fun.

Hope this keeps up the good activity, I think it's going to be a really interesting list.

...Go Cobra Starship