2013 Summer Transfer Thread

[Jimmy]

Guardian 'reporting' both the Douglas, Lewandowski and Fernandinho one's on their horribly unfunny rumour mill.

[stokeriño]

[/bitterness]

[Jimmy]

I like my ridiculous rumours Rafael style, no bullshit. I don't need a Guardian writer trying to make me laugh to pad out an article.

[Rafael]

Fernandinho deal has been reported in Brazil for quite some time, I can't see the nonsense about it.

I like my ridiculous rumours Rafael style, no bullshit. I don't need a Guardian writer trying to make me laugh to pad out an article.

''Bale worth 100M pounds!''

[Nerf]

Even Raf is getting in on it

[Jimmy]

It is well and truly RAFA TIME.

[EddieG]

Douglas is no longer a Brazilian footballer Just Brazilian-born.

[Owen]

Owen won all that once. Good job nobody spent 100m on him, eh?

Not even my parents?

[stokeriño]

In The Mirror's latest attempt to outdo themselves in the "lolwut" stakes, they claim that if Mourinho were to return to Stamford Bridge he would want.........Steve Kean as his assistant.

So far as I can tell, this is deduced on the basis that Kean a) is unemployed, and b) can speak Portuguese.

Personally, if I were to take a punt on the who-would-be-assistant-if-it-actually-happened-at-all stakes, I'd suggest Paulo Ferreira.

[Lineker]

Andre Schurrle's move to Chelsea appears closer after Bayer Leverkusen said they believed the Germany striker had agreed to join the Blues.

The Bundesliga side have also confirmed they are considering a bid for the 22-year-old international.

"Andre Schurrle has probably signed a pre-contract deal with Chelsea," Bayer general manager Wolfgang Holzhauser told Kicker magazine.

[METALMAN]

Schurrle not?

[HailtotheYo]

Nani to Juve in a swap deal for Marchisio .... (yeah no, Juve isn't about to do that)

Southampton in for Wanyama ...

[TCO]

Why would Mourinho need an assistant who can speak Portugese when he's completely fluent in English and a stupid amount of other languages?

[Matt]

So he can talk behind Torres' back to someone.

[brenchill]

Mourinho, the translator, needs someone who speaks Portugese on his team.

Sounds legit.

[Hobo]

Mourinho, the translator, needs someone who speaks Portugese on his team.

Sounds legit.

Yep, I buy it.

[Ant]

Just re-sign Paulo Ferreira.

[King Ellis]

I assumed he was still there!

[Ant]

Huh. He is still there. I thought he left with Bosingwa

[stokeriño]

Yep. Still here. On the bench quite a bit too.