The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[TMM]

Tag Team title match: Sting and Chris Harris vs. Batista and Michael Shane

IC title match: Lance Storm vs. Chris Nowinski - Submission match

Women's title match: Alexis Laree vs. Tracy vs. Trish Stratus

Christian vs. Kane

World Heavyweight title match: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

[craig]

my matches, Chris Benoit and Mike Awesome v Nick Mondo and Tommy Dreamer, Christian and Molly v Kane

Sting and Chris Harris v Batista and Michael Shane

Lance Storm v Chris Nowinski, 2 out of 3 falls

Chris Jericho v Randy Orton

Tracy v Trish SR/ Triple H

Steve Austin v Eric Bischoff (if Possible but i know Non-Wrestlers can wrestle at big events)

Shawn Michaels v David Flair

Booker-T- v Rhyno

[Jam]

Shawn Michaels Vs Michael Shane

Intercontinental Title Match

Lance Storm Vs Christopher Nowinski

Kane Vs Christian

Heavyweight Title Match

Chris Benoit Vs Chris Jericho

Batista, David Flair, Randy Orton and Eric Bischoff Vs Sting, Chris Harris, Nick Mondo and Tommy Dreamer

Booker T Vs Scott Hall

[Guest Azrael]

Ok these are the best matches that i could think of, the last one is for no particular storyline reason, i just think it'd be neat

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho vs Randy Orton

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Nowinski vs Lance Storm, Two of out Three Falls

WWE Womans Championship Match: Alexis Laree vs Tracy vs Trish Stratus

Eight Man Revenge Tag Team Match Booker T, Scott Hall, Sting & Chris Harris vs Evolution (Eric Bischoff, Michael Shane, Batista & David Flair)

Hardcore Match Chris Benoit vs Tommy Dreamer

Special Guest Referee Match Christian vs Kane w/ Referee Molly Holly

Shawn Michaels vs Mike Awesome

[Steve Corino]

Some of them have nothing storyline-wise....but would be good matches to see.

World title match: Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit - Iron Man match

Sting vs Eric Bischoff - Cage Match

Lance Storm vs Chris Nowinski - Submission Match

Chris Harris vs Batista (but why haven't you signed James Storm?)

Scott Hall and Booker T vs Rhyno and Mike Awesome

Michael Shane vs Shawn Michaels

David Flair vs Al Snow

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

Interesting idea going with the Taboo Tuesday idea for Halloween Havoc. I look foreward to see how it will turn out.

Sledgehammer On a Pole Match: Triple H vs. Rhyno

World Tag Team Title Match: Michael Shane and Batista vs. Sting and Chris Harris

WWE Intercontinental Title 2/3 Falls Match: Chris Nowinski vs. Lance Storm

Special Referee Match: Christian vs. Kane w/ Molly Holly as Referee

Shawn Michaels vs. David Flair

World Womens Title Triple Threat Match: Trish Stratus vs. Tracy vs. Alexis Laree

I Quit Match: Chris Benoit vs. Nick Mondo

World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

[TheBookerMan69]

Been a whiiiile since I replied here, but I have some matches I'd like to see

Molly Holly and Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff and David Flair

Tag team title match: Batista/Shane vs. Sting/Harris

Christian vs. Kane- Inferno Match

Nick Mondo vs. Mike Awesome- Extreme Rules

Four Way World Title Match: Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Triple H vs. Rhyno- Sledgehammer Match

Nowinski/Storm- 2/3 Falls

[GCCWolverine]

OFFICIAL MATCHES:

I-C Title: Chris Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm, submission match

World Title: Chris Jericho © vs. Randy Orton

Kane v. Christian, Special Referee: Molly Holly

I Quit Match: Chris Benoit vs. Nick Mondo

TJ Wilson v. Mike Awesome

Shawn Michaels v. Rhyno

Booker/Scott Hall v. David Flair/Eric Bischoff

[The Third Dukes]

Hey guys.

I took a few days off to tabulate votes and see where people stood. This diary comes back with a vengeance tomorrow morning -- by which I mean I'm doing a show a day Monday-Friday, then hitting No Mercy on the weekend. Even I'll be burned out at the end.

You'll notice I'm keeping the Halloween Havoc vote private. After seeing Taboo Tuesday, I feel the element of surprise is a good thing to have. It'll make things more fun, that's for sure.

Anyway, I've also spent this time wondering how to work around a real-life incident that will be incorporated into this diary. It's not easy being real. Yeesh.

As of now, six matches would be on Halloween Havoc. No, I won't say what they are. Figure it out yourself . However, if a match reaches the three-vote plateau, it will be made official. Vote early (but vote once).

Thanks for the interest.

Dukes

[K.O.T.W]

Chris Jericho © vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Nick Mondo vs. Mike Awesome

Nowinski © vs. Storm - Submission Match

Sting vs. Triple H

There you go.

K.O.T.W - #1 Member of the "Make a Limp Bizkit version of She's a Lady" Club

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Sept. 16 / 04, taped Sept. 14.

- From Tacoma, WA.

- Your hosts are Cole and Corn.

- Opening match: Rob Van Dam and Hurricane v. Jamie Noble and Billy Gunn. Pre-match vignette establishes that the faces are forming an alliance to watch each other's backs from Team Angle. RVD and Gunn start, and RVD takes full control with a dropkick and rana. Hurricane in, and he tries a press slam, but Gunn falls on top. Choking, and Noble enters with a crossbody and basement dropkick. He works the leg, but Hurricane powers out. Gunn enters with the One and Only for two. And only. HA! Noble back in, but Hurricane powerslams him, hot tag RVD. Heels go flying, and a chokeslam and Five-Star finish Rockabilly at 6:14. Extended warmups for the faces, really. *1/2

- Ah, and it's Roddy Piper, who the announcers said would comment on the title situation...

Piper: "Hello, everyone. I'm going to be serious, for once. I know, hard to believe. The actions of Team Angle in ruining Edge's chance for the WWE Heavyweight Title have left a bad taste in my mouth not experienced since I was forced to watch Santa with Muscles at the WCW office party. However, this time I can do something about it. Earlier this week, Edge made an appearance at the Board of Governors' headquarters. While details of that meeting are unknown, I was told that Edge has plans for Team Angle. That said, I have plans for him. Matt Hardy Version 2 is hereby forced to square off against Edge, with the winner facing Eddie Guerrero at No Mercy for the WWE Heavyweight Title. Whether Edge or Matt Hardy wins, Eddie will know that he is going against someone who deserves to be the WWE Heavyweight Champion. In addition, later tonight, I will have Edge talk about his meeting with the Board of Governors. Edge understands that I'm not pleased he went over my head. I'll get to the bottom of this. Thank you, and enjoy the show."

- WWE United States title: Nathan Jones v. Scott Colt. Hey, wait, don't you want us to ENJOY the show? Jones slugs away and stomps on Colt, who slithers outside for a break. Jones follows, but Colt suckers Jones into running over the steps, and back in, a springboard dropkick gets two for Colt. Colt goes back up top, but Jones slugs him in the face during a bodyblock. Okay, am I going to have to give Jones the Kidman treatment vis-a-vis that crossbody? Something to look out for here. ANYway, Colt staggers into a big boot for two. Jones goes to ground-and-pound, but Colt slips out the back and gets a jumping neck snap. Basement dropkick allows a Shining Wizard for two. Colt 45 is blocked, and Colt is tossed into the aisleway as we take a break. Wow, an ad break in a Nathan Jones match. I'd be honored if I were Nathan. No, actually, if I were as awful a worker as Nathan Jones I'd kill myself. We come back with Colt getting nailed by the Corner KO, but faking unconsciousness long enough to sunset flip Jones for two. Colt dropkicks Jones, who falls into the ropes, so Colt steals Mondo's Sledgehammer Legdrop for fun and dedicates it to Sick Nick via the camera. Back in, slingshot legdrop gets two. Jones goes low to double Colt over, and the KICK OF FEAR finishes at 8:14. If the idea was to see if Colt could carry Jones, it failed. * But wait, let's see if Heyman can do any better...

Heyman: "Scott! Scott, c'mere... you did all right, Scott. You'll get him someday. But first, I wanna talk to you, Nathan Jones. You carry around that US title like it was your birthright. Like you're somehow worthy of it. I have a newsflash, Nathan -- that is a wrestling title. And I don't know about you, but I don't consider your brand of thuggery to be wrestling. Oh, sure, you have a long legacy of destroying people with those fists and feet, and I wouldn't want to be within the ring with you, but my clients feel otherwise. So Nathan, consider it my personal mission to take that belt off of you as soon as possible with whomever it may be. You have been warned, and it is time for you to prepare. Some day, the US title will belong to a wrestler, and not to a worthless barroom brawler who doesn't deserve a passport, let alone a title."

- "Not to a worthless barroom brawler"? Boy, nobody tell the APA about THAT one!

- World's Greatest Tag Team v. 3 Live Kru. Mix-and-match tonight, I see. Killings and Shelton start it off, and Killings gets a clothesline and fistdrop. Dogg enters and goes for the shaky-legged kneedrop, but Shelton rolls away. Haas and Shelton try a double clothesline, but Dogg ducks and Killings gets one. Dogg hits a Stunner to Haas, leaving him out on his feet for a Killings crossbody for two. Finally, Haas German suplexes Killings as Shelton clotheslines Dogg out, and Killings is YOUR brutha-in-peril. Leapfrog choke and T-Bone suplex gets two for Shelton. Haas with a clothesline and Oklahoma roll for two. Doomsday Device try, but Killings ducks it, so Haas drops him with an Electric Chair for two. Heels collide and Killings gets a dropkick to send Shelton and Haas to the corner, hot tag Dogg. Punches for everyone, but when push comes to shove Mike Barton runs in to distract the ref as Shelton uses a chain to KO Dogg and win at 7:49. He shoulda won clean. **1/4

- WWE Heavyweight Title: Eddie Guerrero v. Big Bubba Rogers. I'm guessing Matt's doing this to soften Eddie up. Bubba clubs away on Eddie, who ducks a clothesline and fires off a dropkick. Bubba goes outside, so Eddie baseball slides him and hits a plancha. Back in, Eddie with a slingshot senton for two. Eddie tries a suplex, but Bubba is JUST TOO FAT and runs him over. Sliding punch and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Eddie powers out and gets a dropkick and rana, into the Lasso. Bubba kicks out of it and catches Eddie in a powerslam for two. Eddie flips over with a sunset flip for two. To the top, but Bubba catches him and hits a superplex for two. Bubba tries the scrapbuster, but Eddie ducks under the arm and gets a crucifix for two. Reverse crossface gets the tapout at 7:11. I'm feeling generous. **

- And now we go backstage...

Kidman is trying to get Torrie's attention. He waves his hand in front of her face, but she continues to stare blankly ahead. Finally, Kidman turns to Taker.

Kidman: "Look... stop it now. Whatever the hell you've done to her... end it. She's my wife. I want her back. I love her."

Taker: "Nothing you say... can bring her back... she chose... the darkness."

Kidman: "No, NO! She couldn't have! This isn't the woman I know and love! What have you done to her? Why are you... dammit, why? Set her free! Dammit, what have I got to do to get her out of your clutches?"

Richards (off-camera): "Perhaps I can help."

Steven Richards and Bull Buchanan appear on-screen, as Kidman rolls his eyes.

Kidman: "Aw, great, you again. Look, the deal's off, okay? You'll just try to brainwash her the same way he is."

Richards: "Mr. Kidman, I respectfully suggest that you not be so hasty with your words. After all, it was last week that we helped to defeat the Undertaker. So maybe, if we teamed up, we can do it again."

Kidman: "Yeah? Then what? Then you take my wife away and make her be some high-minded Kool-Aid drinker.. and I'm back to square one! That's not how it works. Either you let her be with me or you don't help at all."

Bull: "Don't you tell us what to do when it comes to our mission to save others."

Taker: "It doesn't matter... none of you... can change her mind... she has chosen..."

Kidman: "Torrie? Torrie, what's going on? Just tell me."

Torrie stares at Kidman, saying nothing. She seems to waver a little -- a twitch of the mouth betraying something -- before she looks at Taker, then back at Kidman. Finally, Richards breaks the silence.

Richards: "This is going nowhere! Undertaker, you have corrupted Miss Wilson..."

Kidman (forcefull): "MRS. Wilson..."

Richards: "Fine... Mrs. Wilson with your demonic ways. We will set out to make it right once again. On behalf of Mr. Buchanan, I challenge you to a match at No Mercy. We will see whose influence is the best for your so-called Creature..."

Kidman: "Wait a minute! What about me? You ain't deciding MY wife's future without ME involved! So I suggest you back off and let me handle this right now..."

Taker grabs both Kidman and Richards by the shoulder. They both turn and look at Taker, as Torrie holds the urn on high in the background.

Taker: "I will... preserve... her choice... three men... No Mercy..."

Taker lets go of Kidman and Richards before walking off, Torrie (still transfixed by the urn) following. Kidman and Richards look at each other.

Kidman: "Fine. I'll beat you both if I have to."

Richards: "This will be for her own good. Let's go."

- Billy Kidman v. Sean Morley. Morley jumps Kidman (who is still jawing with Richards at ringside) and pounds away, getting a slam and kneedrop for two. Running knee smashes lead to a Russian legsweep, but that gets two as well. Kidman punches away and hits a rana and headscissors, sending Morley to the outside, where Kidman scores a backflip on him. Morley rolls back in, so Richards superkicks Kidman and tosses him in for two. Kidman works out of a sleeper, then scores a handspring Samurai Driver on Morley to shock him. BK Bomb gets two. Morley gets a sidewalk slam and goes to the top, but the Moral High Ground misses and the SSP finishes at 4:58. **1/4 The lights go out, and when they come back on Kidman is unconscious and bleeding, presumably at Taker's hands.

- Tazz video, in which he says he'll be back at No Mercy and issues an open challenge.

- Matt Hardy v. Edge. Edge controls early, hitting a dropkick and facejam on Matt. Matt tries to fire back, but a bulldog gets stopped and turned into an atomic drop in a neat segment. Matt heads to the outside to consult with Team Mattitude, but Edge baseball slides into them and gets the spare. Massive beating follows, but Tim White ejects Bubba, Evan, and Shannon (which sounds like the setup to a "Deliverance" joke) from ringside. Back in, Matt controls with a German suplex for two. Into the turnbuckle, and Matt scores a wheelbarrow suplex on the way out. He goes up top, but Edge follows and they slug it out. Matt tries a MURDERDEATHKILL powerbomb, but Edge ranas out and rolls him up for two. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Matt punches Edge's leg to stop it. Matt goes to work on the neck, getting kneesmashes and a crank on it. Edge makes the ropes. Matt bounces off the ropes with a twisting forearm on Edge for two, and he goes to a ground sleeper as we take a break. We come back with Edge getting a suplex on Matt for two. He goes up top, but Matt is ready and dropkicks a diving Edge for two. Matt goes for the Control-Alt-Delete (not its real name, but readers have been BEGGING me to call it that, so I will) for two. Matt whips Edge to the corner and charges, but Edge sends Matt to the floor and follows. Edge hits the stairs, and back in, Matt looks to finish, but Edge reverses and both men tumble into the referee. Edge spears Matt, but Brock Lesnar returns and F-5s Edge. Matt and the ref both slowly get up, and a Twist of Fate wins it for Matt at 15:44. **1/2 Brock and Kurt Angle laugh at Edge, but Roddy Piper's music hits...

Piper: "Hold it right there, everyone! Now I said that after tonight the winner would face Eddie Guerrero, and I meant it! Edge, I'm sorry it ended this way... but really, that's not why I'm here. Ya see, Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, you two have been taking out Edge long enough. I see ya arrive every week in a red-white-and-blue minivan, actin' like ya own the world, and yer taking yer time to ruin this Edge fella's day? What's the big deal, cueball?"

Kurt: "Don't you get it? I never got a one-on-one rematch with Eddie Guerrero for MY WWE title! I fought through Brock to get it -- but that doesn't count. I had it all sewn up at Great American Bash... but that little squirt ruined it for me! So I'm going to take all my anger and frustration out on him! If I can't have Eddie, he can't have Eddie! It's as simple as that!"

Piper: "Is that all? Hell, ya shoulda come to me! But since ya didn't, I'll just file away that you won't have Eddie if he can't have Eddie."

Kurt: "That's not what I said! I said that--"

Piper: "And in the meantime, I think Edge has some explainin' ta do. Edge, why'd ya go 'round me? Why'd ya think I couldn't help ya? Don't ya trust ol' Uncle Roddy here?"

Edge: "Hang on, Roddy. It's not about you. I went to the Board of Governors because I wanted something from Kurt and from Brock, and I needed help to get it. With all due respect, Roddy Piper, this is between me and those two guys, so let me tell them what they're in for."

Piper leaves as Kurt and Brock enter the ring.

Kurt: "All right, hot shot, what are we in for?"

Edge: "It's real simple, Kurt. There's a lot of people who would love nothing more than to take out two great amateur stars, and I've found one of them. He hates you for what you've done, and he hates Brock for what he's done. And he has a history of taking things personally. So, how about this: you and Brock against me and this other guy for the WWE Tag Team titles at No Mercy. You up for it?"

Kurt: "Up for it? No problem! We'll take you out with ten minutes to spare in the broadcast! It doesn't matter who you throw out there! I don't care what that old Board of Governors thought -- there's no way, no how, no instance where you can find someone who will defeat us. So yes, it's official... let's do it!"

Kurt offers his hand to Edge. Edge shakes it, but pulls Kurt in.

Edge: "It's set. We'll see you at No Mercy..."

He cracks a smile as Kurt looks a bit puzzled and/or worried.

Edge: "...BROTHER!"

Kurt: "B-b-brother? You got Eric?"

Edge (smiling): "No, no no no. I got someone who has a personal grudge against the both of you for trying to end his career and destroy him. But he doesn't get destroyed. And when he and I team up one more time, former WWE Tag Team champions riding again, I have only one question for the two of you..."

The crowd is ready to explode.

Edge: "WHATCHA GONNA DO!"

The Bottom Line:

They can't be doing this. They can't mean it. He couldn't. He's 51, fer heaven's sake! He's got a bad knee and can barely walk! He can't draw anymore... and why? If he wins, he can't defend, and if he loses, he takes Edge with him! Besides, I thought he was done, finished, kaput! I was certain I'd never have to see him again!

He can't be coming back at No Mercy... right?

[The Quasi Juice]

Good show, I like the whole Kidman/Taker/Richards thing that's going on. But I think you should use colors for your matches because this looks weird.

[Nick Adams]

NO! It's HORACE HOGAN? DEAR GOD!

Either that, or it could be Hulk - which would be just...weird.

I like the format of typing out the interviews and recapping the matches. It adds to the whole thing. Still...you have to wonder - is Terry Bollea really coming back?

Edited October 26, 2004 by Nick Adams

[deanitude]

NO! It's HORACE HOGAN? DEAR GOD!

Either that, or it could be Hulk - which would be just...weird.

I like the format of typing out the interviews and recapping the matches. It adds to the whole thing. Still...you have to wonder - is Terry Bollea really coming back?

[Steve Corino]

I agree with Virch; GOD NO! Please let it be a mind game, Dukes!

But there is good news. You're turning the Kidman/Taker/Torrie angle into something interesting (to me at least) with RTC's involvement. There are so many ways you can go with it, that it's almost mind-boggling. She can remain a zombie, she can turn into a "high-minded Kool-Aid drinker", or she go back to Torrie. Or there could be a draw, and she turns into a censoring zombie.

[oldskool]

A censoring zombie......I can see it getting over.

Although I can also see a Goldberg imitator-zombie named Zomberg, who speaks EXACTLY like the guy that does the Arnold Schwarzenegger impression on Conan O'Brien's show....

OK, so I'm just a garbage gimmick mark.

[deanitude]

zomberg = ratings

or maybe we have it all wrong... maybe the undertaker will join the RTC and forget all his evil satan worshipping ways... bow in fear... of the UnderQuaker!!!!

[Guest y2gudge]

Starting to catch up Dukes after being away to watch the wrestling, re-starting back in University and having my computer fuck up on me whenever it can but I felt I needed to comment on the briliant write-up of Unforgiven (where I'm up to at this moment).

As you said yourself the filler matches could have been by-passed but full enjoyment by myself whilst reading Kane/Molly, Orton/Sting & possibly your best non-technical/crusierweight write-up that I have read, the brilliant Mondo/Benoit. Full marks for the PPV and hopefully I can catch up over the weekend.

*y2gudge*

[DonaldMick]

*marks out for a possible return of the Hulkster*

*legdrops all of the haters*

I might have to *ahem* borrow a line from the BVS for an e-fed promo next week... rather not go into why, but it does involve Hogan.

BROTHER~

[The Third Dukes]

I hate being sick. A week of shows today, folks.

*****

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Sep. 20 / 04.

- Live from Tucson, AZ.

- Your hosts are JR and DDP.

- Opening segment: RNN. Orton rails against the Havoc concept, getting in the usual "Havoc/havoc" lines you'd come to expect. Although he does note that a lot of people want to see him "take the belt off of" Chris Jericho, and for that he's grateful. Now THERE'S an interesting concept -- acting like the wrestlers know the results. Anyway, Uncle Eric is our guest, and he's ticked about not being in power. He informs us that until Havoc, he's still Evolution's manager and therefore can show up on TV as much as he wants. Ain't that special. He then goes off on a rant about everything he misses from being in charge ("I gotta use my own Gold Club card when I go out on the town"), as he and Orton agree the voting concept sucks. Scott Hall interrupts (why not?) as he and Bischoff drop nWo references. Hall makes veiled references to the NWATNA Gauntlet for the Gold concept, saying some ideas look bad at first but get better over time. "You, Bischoff... you sucked in 1989, you sucked in 1993, you sucked in 1996, you sucked in 2002, and you suck today." Well, that's pretty definitive. Bischoff starts to make a match between Hall and Orton, but Hall reminds him that he can't do that. Bischoff throws a fit as the segment ends. Nothing segment, but it's always fun to see Bischoff suffer.

- Backstage, HHH carries Trish's bags for her as Trish is on a cell phone, attempting to make up with Tracy. HHH wonders whether these two are just bitching over nothing, which gets him couch duty from Trish. Hunter, it's called diplomacy. Learn it.

- Rhyno v. Test. Rhyno appears to be stuck in RAW Trek III: The Search for a Point. So let's see if a squash helps him. Test wins the lockup and slugs down Rhyno in the corner, but Rhyno comes back with a clothesline and powerslam for two. He tries a GOAR GOAR GOAR early on, but Test leapfrogs (!) and Rhyno flies out of the ring. Test follows him out and tosses him into the STEEL guardrail as it appears Rhyno's star is in descent. Back in, Test tries the Big Boot, but Rhyno ducks it and nails Test with a five-arm. Ground and pound follows, then Rhyno sends Test to the turnbuckle and suplexes him. Press slam (and yes, the visual of a 5'10 man lifting a 6'6 man is suitably humourous) gets two. Rhyno goes up, but the big splash hits the knees. Test gets a tilt-a-whirl and pumphandle for two. Rhyno heads outside to stall off the comeback and yells at Dawn Marie, so Test grabs him by the hair and suplexes him back in for two. Savage elbow gets two. Test sets up for the Boot, but Rhyno bounces off with the GOAR GOAR GOAR to finish at 6:59. Test? Look good? Wow, what a concept. *3/4

- Fun with French people follows, as Lucille LaChienne gives her promo threatening Alexis Laree exclusively in French, perplexing poor Coach. I don't know what Coachman does to be abused this much, but Rock should receive royalties for every time someone on the RAW roster does it.

- Titre des Femmes: Alexis Laree v. Lucille LaChienne. The WrestleMania rematch no one was clamoring for! And yes, I'm going to go nuts with the French. Amusement pour la famille entière! So, anyway, Lucille opens up with some forearms, but Laree chops her down as I again protest the Southern girl using CANADIAN VIOLENCE on a Canadian. But no one listens to me, so Lucille slugs away and gets a clothesline and elbowdrop. Laree with a suplex, but her bodypress attempt misses and Lucille scores with a front suplex for deux. Forrest Attic (that's Sylvan Grenier to you Francophones) pulls the top rope down on Laree, and Lucille attacks on the outside. Back in, a suplex d'Allemagne gets two for Lucille. The ref is bumped during a criss-cross, and Grenier tries to use the DRAPEAU DE MORT, but Tracy enters and confiscates it, cracking Lucille with it and giving Grenier the Pâté en Croûte Dans le Ciel for good measure. Laree retains at 5:44. 3/4* in any language. Laree and Tracy argue a bit over the result, while Lucille shouts incoherently in French. JR makes sure to note Grenier seemed "unappreciative" of receiving Tracy's finisher. Insert Pat Patterson joke here.

- So they go backstage, where HHH asks Tracy "what's the big deal, girl?" and Tracy just says she wanted to even the odds. Tracy engages in small talk, turning the conversation towards the relationship, and admitting she did have a crush on HHH. "I dunno, you always seemed so powerful." I love shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoot comments. She insists she doesn't want to break up the relationship, but she gets curious... and Trish walks in, forcing Tracy to act as though the whole conversation never happened. This is getting weird.

- Sting, Chris Harris, and Lance Storm v. Chris Nowinski, Rodney Mack, and Mike Awesome. The announcers cover for Valerie's suspension (she skipped out on the latest Divas photo shoot, forgetting she now qualified) by saying she is sitting out in protest of Halloween Havoc. There's actually a decent point here -- Bischoff may have the power to book matches as GM, but managers often arranged the details of their clients. I would imagine Paul Heyman would make the same point were he on the RAW roster. So Sting and Mack start, and Sting gets the edge and works over Mack's legs. Storm does the same, but Mack escapes and Nowinski adds the cheapshot. Awesome tags in and delivers a lariat and kneedrop. MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER and Storm is officially YOUR bland-face-in-peril. If they keep this up, he may eventually get over. May. Mack slugs away and gets a suplex and powerslam for two. Nowinski tags in, punches Storm, and tags out again. Brilliant. Awesome tries the Awesome Bomb, but Harris holds his leg. So Awesome tosses Storm to the mat and gets a frog splash for two before Sting saves. Funny. Nowinski comes in, but Storm trips him into the ropes, hot tag Harris. Spear for Nowinski, and as Sting and Storm take Awesome out of the picture, Catatonic finishes on Mack at 7:08. Whatever. *

- And now, this...

We go backstage, where Eric Bischoff is practicing his martial art -- whatever it is -- when Molly walks by.

Molly: "This how you feel manly?"

Bischoff: "Oh, hello. No, I'm just trying to stay loose. You never know when one's deadly skills will be required."

Molly: "I'm sure -- especially if there's a woman who can be humiliated by your prowess."

Bischoff: "What do you mean?"

Molly: "Well, I've been looking forward to this opportunity for some time, Eric. Ever since May 17. You remember that day, don't you?"

Bischoff: "Not offhand, no..."

Molly: "Well I do. It was almost on my list of most embarrassing moments -- and considering what I've been through, that says a lot, doesn't it? You see, that was the day you wanted to enforce Be a Diva. Your self-centered, childish way of trying to humiliate me -- all while using Christian's little mind-games as a way to get excited. You were right there, in the ring, with a front-row seat, stuffing money in my outfit. NOW do you remember?"

Bischoff: "Now, Molly... that... that was four months ago. You don't really..."

Molly: "I do. And now I have the chance."

Bischoff: "Chance? The chance to what? Make up for lost time? Fulfill that little stipulation?"

Molly: "The chance to get even. Halloween Havoc is coming up, Eric. That's the day you and I and everyone else will be put at the mercy of the fans. Now, I can't make the match any more than you can, but I can dream. And if I had my way, I would get even with the one person who had the power to stop it and didn't -- you."

Bischoff: "But... but Christian..."

Molly: "I know about him. He'll forever be known as the man who lost his belt to a woman. That's my revenge on him. But trust me, Eric -- he's shown remorse, so I've forgiven him. You... I haven't forgiven. And my retribution will quickly make you wish I had. Are we clear?" (Nothing.) "Are we, Eric? Do you understand what I really think of you?"

Bischoff: "Easy to talk tough while I'm not in power. Don't you realize I'm only 'one of you' until after the show? I have a long memory."

Molly: "That a threat?"

Bischoff: "I don't make threats. I reveal facts. And the fact is, you've gotten where you are based on sympathy, and now you're getting a big head about it. So I suggest you stand back and look at how other people fare in this business in your position. What of Chynna Doll, the woman whose pedestal you share? She tore up her ACL over the weekend -- her career might be over. And when it is, people will think of her as a self-centered, overblown, freak of nature who got where she was because of what was handed to her by men. Men like me -- who are the real power."

Molly: "Heard it, Eric. I heard it every week for months on end. The idea that I am nothing, that I got where I was through another person's good feelings... I heard it all the time. I used to believe it. But I made a promise that the next person who would pull that kind of <bleep> on me was going to be sent to jail -- or to the hospital. Care to go?"

Bischoff: "Talk tough, little girl. Truth hurts. And that kind of physical threat will be met with retribution. Or do you really think your match tonight with Kane was a coincidence? After all, I did say the two of you needed a winner."

Molly: "Why stop there, Uncle Eric? Why stop at one-on-one? You think I'm not that tough? How about adding yourself to the match. That way, you can assure yourself that there's a definitive winner. Heck, I'll find myself a partner and we can have a tag match. That get your fancy? Does the thought of being able to beat me make you..." (She looks downward on Eric.) "...feel like a man?"

Bischoff: "It's your challenge, Molly. It'll be your funeral. Now lemme train. I've got a match to prepare for... and so do you."

- David Flair v. Scott Hall. Thankfully, the segment above was bookended by commercials, thus meaning it had time to sink in. They should do that more often. As for this match, it's a basic Hall squash before Randy Orton runs in for the DQ at 3:01. DUD Orton and David lead an Evolution beating of Hall before Booker T runs them off. Booker asks the fans to vote for him against Orton at Halloween Havoc. Clearly, this company is trying to rig the vote without rigging it, and I hope they're as successful as Ross Perot was in 1992.

- Chris Jericho reminds us he exists. He admits to being at a disadvantage when it comes to Halloween Havoc, but a TRUE champion faces everyone and beats everyone. He will eagerly await the results, and whoever faces him will feel the wrath of Y2J. He asks who's winning, and it turns out it's either Randy Orton or Chris Benoit, depending on who's counting. Jericho gets a great smile on his face...

Jericho: "Oh, so it's not certain, huh? Well, it would be a shame if Evolution split the vote and some third party won, wouldn't it? We all know Eric Bischoff is no fan of mine, and he wants to make sure the winner is one of his own. Maybe he should decide immediately who it should be. Just get it out of the way. Call them both in and say, 'Boys, one of you is my favorite member of Evolution.' Or maybe the two of them should pool their votes and have one stand aside for the other! Yeah! All they have to do is get one of them to agree to forgo what would be the biggest opportunity of their career, all in the name of feeding the other. Would be a nice story, wouldn't it?"

- Intrigue. Love it.

- Main event: Kane and Eric Bischoff v. Molly Holly and... Christian is announced as the tag partner, but he never shows up. Eric demands to start against Molly, so they lock up... and Molly pulls Eric onto herself for the pin at 0:08??? Bischoff (and Kane) stand there dumbfounded before Molly takes a mic...

Molly: "Well, there you have it. I lost. Kane won. Sorry, Kane -- I know you were looking forward to mutilating me. And Eric, I know you really, REALLY wanted to see it happen. But you see, I lost. Kane won. It's over. We have a winner and a loser. No more rematches. I'm sorry, Eric -- but hey, you can at least feel better by knowing a woman put you on top of herself. I'm sure it won't happen again." (Crowd: "Ooooooooooooh") "But then again, if you really want to get even, you can always campaign to face me at Halloween Havoc... where what by that time will be FIVE MONTHS of bitter frustration will be emptied out on your pathetic excuse for a pretty face. Choice is yours... Chief. Oh, that's right, you're not Chief anymore. Bye."

- Kane charges the ring, but Molly escapes through the crowd. Kane chokeslams Bischoff as a consolation prize, but Christian emerges and whacks Kane with a chair, end of show.

The Bottom Line:

I hope you're beginning to see the problems with a show literally booked at the last minute. While everyone seems to know where they'd like to go, some monkey wrench could always find its way in. Still, the idea of signing the match and adding an angle afterwards isn't new: Flair and Savage did it in 1992, and it drew millions for WrestleMania. So maybe I'm just out of touch with reality.

Yeah, right, like I'm ever out of touch.