Movies Edited For Television

[TheRyno]

A few days ago, FX showed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and butchered it horribly with censoring. If you just listened to it and not watched it, the dialogue sounded like it was being piped through a faulty drive-thru speaker. But that I can understand because every other word in that movie is "fuck". But what got me was during the scene with Jay and Silent Bob at the Mooby's internet terminal, they didn't even bother to edit it. Right after "You are the ones who are the ball lickers!", FX skipped the rest with a cheesy screenwipe that they probably took from a Slideshow program. It was kinda funny, actually. Also, they didn't even bother to show the "Clit Commander" speech and skipped it completely. It just made me wonder why the hell they even bothered to get it shown on TV if they had to censor it so badly.

Also, the "pound-me-in-the-ass prison" line from Office Space became "pound-me-into-ash".

So, what are your favorite "edited for television" moments?

[Lint]

I've always liked Die Hards "Yipee Ki-Yay mohterfucker" getting turned into "Yipee Ki-Yay Mr. Falcon"

and the entire tv version of Scarface..possibly the one movie that gets turned into a comedy due to its editting

[Crybaby Bunting]

The giant penis in fight club

after watching it on tv i thought i'd pick up the dvd cheap

most unexpected and hilarious moment ever

[Evil Chase K]

Dumb & Dumber...

"That pisses me off. That pisses me right off." becomes "That peeves me off. That peeves me right off."

And "Right on my ass after you kiss it!" becomes "Right on my SANDWICH after you kiss it!"

[Drezdon]

When watching an edited for TV scarface when I was about 14, the line

"This city is like a big pussy waiting to be fucked" (or something like that), turned into

"This city is like a big chicken waiting to be plucked"

There was another classic change from the movie which i cannot quite recal, I think it may have been the "eating pussy" from the beggining, but the one above made me laugh quite a lot.

[Lord Nibbler]

Hot Fuzz

[therockbox]

Was the "Funky Pete" version of Shaun of the Dead ever shown on TV, or just airlines?

[King Ellis]

Suck my knee bunny funster!

[Farmer Reil]

PEAS AND RICE~!

[Skummy]

"See what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?"

"How'd you get that scar, boy, eating pineapple?"

[TheRyno]

Oddly enough, I just watched Along Came Polly on USA at like 3 PM and I heard "goddamn" uncensored 3 times. We've come so far from the days where they played Howard Stern's Private Parts at midnight and bleeped "Jesus Christ" even when they didn't use it as a derogatory term.

If anyone has ever seen the edited version of Mallrats, let me know as I've heard it's particularly brutal. The only thing I've seen of it was Jay saying "All it took was a phat smokin' blunt" being changed to "All it took was a phat KARATE PUNCH!"

[Enter Blue Guy]

The most ridiculous of all time had to be years ago when I was watching Little Giants on ABC. They censored the line "this is a bunch of crap" and made it into "this is a bunch of stuff."

[DMN in the House]

Don't watch Boondock Saints on TV. Cut to hell.

[fineintent]

They show movies properly in England. Yay.

[Johnny Latino Heat]

This is the first time I even hear of editing movies for television... Here in Portugal they don't edit anything, not even in the subtitles (since it's a different language, they could mess up with the subtitles, but I think they don't do that, at least not that I've ever noticed). Movie editing = :thumbsdown:

[Colly]

They show movies properly in England. Yay.

[writeeagle]

Recorded 40 Days and 40 Nights off Comedy Central the other night. Not sure if it was during their "Secret Stash" or not, which is when they usually play the unedited movies. Its usually 1am Sunday mornings or some shit like that.

I forget what station it was, but when I lived on Long Island, there was one station that edited so poorly, it sounded like it was dubbed by an old lady. Dumb, but somehow funny at the same time.

[Heroin Bob]

I was watching Breakfast Club at around 3 am on USA the other night. Instead of the nerd yelling "Fuck you!" at Claire, they dub it over with Bender's voice yelling "Damn you!"

[Farmer Reil]

One thing I always found hilarious is how the UK digital channels aimed at teenagers (Trouble, mainly) edit "ass" out. Not dub over it, just blank it out.

So That 70's Show (in particular) is full of blanks in the sound, followed by "hole!" or other such things.

The funniest edit I've ever seen though, was Channel Five editing an episode of WCW Worldwide by placing a white oval over an extended middle finger. The poor kids must've gone crazy trying to work out the gesture he was making ¬_¬

[MalaCloudy Black]

I've always liked the fact that Cool Runnings, a Disney film, has to have the 'bad ass mother' scene edited for TV.

Really? The few times I've seen them air it -- even on the Disney Channel -- that's been left in.

Also, thank god for Comedy Central's Secret Stash. Finally got to see Shaun of the Dead (unedited) on the 'Stash last weekend. Awesome, awesome movie.