General Movie Thread 2024

[GoGo Yubari]

I do think the guy they got to play Flair did a good job at playing him off-camera, just this leering party-boy creep who is vaguely depicted as the kind of asshole you have to be to actually get to and stay at the top and basically the antithesis of Kevin. He was very bad at playing the Nature Boy persona but to be fair to him, that's on the direction as much as anything else that the "woooo" wasn't even accurate.

Saw American Fiction last night. I liked it. Kind of reminded me of a Woody Allen movie and I'm in favor of people who aren't Woody Allen successfully making movies that kind of scratch that itch.

[Gazz]

Saw a review calling Madame Web 'the Cats of super hero movies'.

 

[King Ellis]

There's a clip doing the rounds where she goes to rescue someone from a car crash. It starts with her approaching the vehicle, then cuts to her inside the veichle so it just looks like she's gone to rescue herself. I assume this is just incompetent editing rather than some sort of visual metaphor.

[DFF]

The Iron Claw is so fucking good. Also, predictably its a heavy hitter and one of the saddest things I've seen in years. 

[Lint]

 

Well this looks fun!

[Hobo]

On 14/02/2024 at 20:01, Gazz said:

Saw a review calling Madame Web 'the Cats of super hero movies'.

 

did they edit out the buttholes from Madam Webb too?

[Maxx]

Lot of people are saying the new adaptation of The Crow has Eric Draven giving Jared Leto Joker vibes, which isn't inaccurate.   I say he looks like a groomer bass player from a sidestage Warped Tour band in the 2010s.  Also he has a Handsome Squidward tattoo on his nipple for...reasons?

No sir, I don't like it.

[Benjamin]

Unsurprisingly, Dune: Part 2 is amazing. Watched in in IMAX, absolutely no regrets.

[Colly]

This really is ridiculous. Sooner someone leaks it the better.

 

 

[Your Mom]

On 24/02/2024 at 09:27, Hobo said:

did they edit out the buttholes from Madam Webb too?

I know you posted this like 2 weeks ago but I just saw it and I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts before 8 in the morning!

 

But the real reason I came into this thread is I just found out Poor Things is coming to Hulu tomorrow!  Really wanted to see it and this is a way cheap way for me to do so. Is it just me or does everything come to streaming so quickly that it's not really worth going to the movies or renting anymore?

[Colly]

It's coming to Disney+ in the UK too, I was really surprised when it popped up the other day. It's strange, certain things go to streaming very quickly (particularly Disney/Marvel via Disney+), while others have the usual 6 month plus wait that we're used to.

[King Ellis]

In honour of Mar10 day, Nintendo have announced that a sequel to the Super Mario Bros movie is due in April 2026, thus further surpassing the Bob Hoskins movie by actually following up on it's sequel bait.

 

[ThrillhouseMAX]

I watched Ricky Stanicky. I found it to be pretty funny. Immature af, but funny, nonetheless. Also interesting to see Nathan Jones still getting work. 

[Maxx]

On 28/02/2024 at 11:46, Maxx said:

Lot of people are saying the new adaptation of The Crow has Eric Draven giving Jared Leto Joker vibes, which isn't inaccurate.   I say he looks like a groomer bass player from a sidestage Warped Tour band in the 2010s.  Also he has a Handsome Squidward tattoo on his nipple for...reasons?

No sir, I don't like it.

 

Thanks, I hate it. 

Worst kind of remake that just goes for a soulless paint by numbers approach.   While obviously you can't match what Proyas did and shouldn't try to replicate it, you can't just strip all of that out and go for the most bland "action movie but sPooOky" approach either.

I'm immediately reminded of the completely forgotten Total Recall remake with Collin Ferrel.  Took out all the strange and interesting stuff from the original and just  made a hyper sanitized version of it. 

[Your Mom]

Happy "Love Lies Bleeding" eve to all who celebrate  

[Gabriel]

I haven't been excited about the idea of remaking The Crow since it was announced. The names attached gave me the feeling that this was a cash-grab attempt at reviving a franchise without putting the proper heart and soul into it.

Then Bill Skaarsgaard got cast and I felt a little better about it. He's an amazing choice to play Eric Draven.

Unfortunately, what I gathered from the trailer is that it's more in-line with the Child's Play remake than anything else. Change the name of the characters and it's an entirely different movie. It may follow that same path of actually turning out to be a decent film, but even if it does, it will forever have the stink of butchering the legacy of the original.

They could have just made this a different version of The Crow altogether and I'd be fine with it as a relaunching of the franchise. But forcing the character of Eric Draven, while not hitting on any of the things that made the character resonate so well... it's just a slap in the face to the fans.

Gone are all of the things that made the original so special. The sadness and hope that Brandon Lee was able to convey, the entire goth feel of the original... gone. Maxx is totally right. It looks more like a typical action film with slight horror elements.

I'll be waiting to see this when I don't have to explicitly give them my money to do so. I already pay for streaming services, so I'll wait for it to hit one of those and give it a watch. Though, honestly, if it wasn't Bill, I'd probably skip it altogether.

[TheWho87]

 

[Lint]

 

 

[Lint]

I watched Zack Snyder presents - Zack Snyder Productions - Rebel Moon Part 2: The Scargiver - A Zack Snyder Joint so you don't have to!

Geez, I thought thee first one was bad, but Part 2 is much worse.  The massive gaps in logic, plot holes and lack of world building in Part 1 made it at least entertainingly bad.  Part 2 is just boring.

Its 2 hours and 3 minutes long.  Cut out all the unnecessary slow-mo and it would be like 45 minutes.
 

Spoiler

Ok, so The Empi...I mean The Imperium, is arrive in 5 days to seize the grain harvest.  How long does it usually take to harvest the grain?  "About half a cycle"...however long that is.  "No, it must be done in 3 days!"  Ok so we have a timeframe established.  Cut to a 20 minute montage of people harvesting grain by hand (because thats what you want in an action sci-fi movie).  Seriously, these people have hovercraft to carry it once its harvested, but these people are using these to harvest it

Also, the montage seemingly took place in 1 day, but was actually 3, because the next scene starts "Now we begin 2 days of training" because you're totally going to train farmers to fight a professional military in 2 days.

Night before the Big Battle, Djimon Hounsou's character General Titus gets everyone to say how The Imperium has harmed them.  All of them is "They killed everyone I've ever loved or cared about" except for Kora, who just says she's a child of war.  Titus then basically goes "Are you sure thats it?" and Kora says yes.  He then goes "Are you REALLY sure thats it?"  And its like "Ok Zack, we get it, Titus actually knows what Kora did (assassinated Princess Who Can Revive Dead Things by order of Kora's adoptive father).

During the Big Battle, Flaming Sword Cybernetic Arm Lady gets one of her arms cut off and immediately forgets how to fight and gets killed.  This is treated as a big sad moment, but since she's only said about 15 words across almost 5 hours of movies, it just doesn't really hit.

 They defeat the invading forces of The Imperium and have this big "We did it!" moment, but its really more "Most of the legal aged men of our village are dead!" moment when MORE troops show up, with this 6 legged walking artillery thing that makes a sound I'd describe as "EDM Elephant".  I thought it was part of the soundtrack but no,later  it cuts to a scene with it and the sound is just ending, meaning the walker thing is actually making that sound for some reason.

The robot comes back.  These 2 movies could've been 10 minutes if Kora just convinced him to fight instead of everyone else.  Seriously, the robot single-handedly takes out like 50 guys, plus the walker thing, and takes no damage.  I'm pretty sure he's indestructible.

So Kora and her lover, Handsome Guy (he has a name but I can't be bothered to remember it) get onto the Imperiums flagship by getting in a dropship and making it look damaged by...propping open a hatch with a smoke grenade and pretending to be injured.  That seems really stupid and would easily be found out but whatever.

"Lets get them to the medic!  What?  No don't be silly, no need to remove their balaclavas"

Kora disables the ships weapon controls, so they switch to "manual controls", which makes sense.  Except manual controls are those hand cranks you see on WWII AA guns, because you can have FTL travel or efficient gun controls, not both.

Handsome Guy gets shot by Admiral Ed Skrein, and Kora killed Admiral Ed Skrein with a Totally Not a Lightsaber.  But Ed Skrein is off screen when it happens, so it doesn't sound and he'll be back for the next one

  Handsome Guy dies, Kora cries but again, it doesn't really hit because...well it just doesn't. 

At the end, Kora is crying and says to Titus "I assassinated Princess Who Can Revive Dead Things" and he says "I know who you are" and its treated like a surprise, even though due to the scene above, The American Foundation for the Blind saw that coming, then he reveals Princess Who Can Revive Dead Things is still alive, and gives us a sequel tease because Zack Snyder has plans for...oh for fucks sake SIX OF THESE MOVIES!!!!!!

So there you have it.  Boring, it has emotional beats that don't hit because they mean nothing, it has plot twists so obvious Zack should've flashed "PLOT TWIST INCOMING" on screen.

Though Djimon Hounsou kills it.  His character of Titus is one of the few that have any depth or development

[Colly]

I sort of want to put myself through them both (I was waiting for the second one) but there's actual good films I haven't seen. So annoying.