Paradox games but definitely NOT GAMES OF THRONE

[MDK]

But the porridge was just right

[MalaCloudy Black]

6 hours ago, Benjamin said:

So, getting maybe a little better at this?  I don't know, I haven't screwed up much yet, but I'm still too chicken to declare myself as King of Ireland, so perhaps I just haven't done much.

I did however, make a pretty bad mistake, as my wife had a claim to one of the other duchies, so I went to war and won it for her, thinking that once she dies, her titles and everything would go to our oldest son, who's also my heir (as I changed my laws to Primogeniture succession). When I checked for the first couple of years, it did say that my heir was her heir. Later on, it suddenly said that I was her heir, and I was like, alright cool, not sure how that worked out but whatever, I wouldn't mind taking it first since she's a little older and a little frail so she might die first, if not, I'll die and my son will be heir to it again anyway, and I'll be playing him.

Left it for a bit and did other stuff, then I went and looked and suddenly it's her damn brother (who I had fucking usurped for her in the first place), and our son or me is nowhere near the line of succession. I'm guessing she changed her inheritance laws so that my heir wouldn't be able to inherit it after she died (which turned out to be only like 5 years later too  ). Good thing she died soon, so that when I become my heir, I can press the claim I have on it (I hope?) that I inherited from what would then be my mum. 

Should've murked her as soon as you saw that you were her heir. It's easier than asking the Pope for a divorce, that's for sure.

[Schlitzbrille]

2 hours ago, Rey Cloudy said:

Should've murked her as soon as you saw that you were her heir. It's easier than asking the Pope for a divorce, that's for sure.

#DIYDivorce

[Mick]

[Schlitzbrille]

At this point, I'm only going to war to flex on people because my vassals do the dirty work for me.

[METALMAN]

Why is North America on CK2? The Americas didn’t exist then 😕

[Bobfoc]

Because he's playing 900 years in the future.

[OctoberRaven]

The real question is why hasn't he liberated South Florida from the tyranny of the Ozark Empire.

[Schlitzbrille]

ALL THE DEFENSIVE PACTS FROM ALL THE SIDES is why. That and Mount Rushmore being my last game goal. 

[OctoberRaven]

3 hours ago, Dickon Manwoody said:

ALL THE DEFENSIVE PACTS FROM ALL THE SIDES is why. That and Mount Rushmore being my last game goal. 

I understand the first point, but not the second, unless part of the scenario involves a supervillain moving Mount Rushmore to Miami Gardens within sight of Joe Robbie Stadium so that sports broadcasts use 'this is Miami' shots that aren't the flippin' beach that's an hour away for a change.

[Benjamin]

So, as King of Ireland, I joined the Crusades against Lithuania (seriously, why is the Pope targeting Lithuania), and, having no real clue what to actually do, I just went at Lithuania's capital and then a few of the surrounding counties. After we won, the Pope granted me Lithuania. That was cool to be king of two countries, but it presented a whole host of challenges for someone who has no idea how to play this game properly. Lithuania had the succession law where if your heir is the eldest, the next titles all go to your second son and stuff. I only had daughters, so while my eldest half-brother (who I had nominated as heir of Ireland) was my heir getting all my titles, the kingdom of Lithuania was going to one of other brothers (of which I had three others). So I ended up killing them, changing Lithuania's law to one where you can elect the successor, and placed the same half-brother who was going to inherit Eire as the heir. All my dukes were voting with me, and everything was going fine.

UNTIL one of my dukes, died, and his heir (who was my kinsman) split the vote of Lithuania to himself, someone else voted with him, and he became the heir of the Lithuanian kingdom instead. Okay, no worries, I'll just kill him and get my half-brother back as the future king. Got the plot power to kill that duke up to around 236%, and I'm like, okay, cool, he's going to die in a few months time probably.

Then I get a message saying I'm travelling to an inn with a bunch of my people, and I call for mead. Hmm, I think to myself, I'm pretty sure I've seen this message before in a diary of TEOL's or something. Then I get blown to hell and die, becoming my heir who's my half-brother and only inheriting the kingdom of Ireland and all my other titles, but losing on the kingdom of Lithuania. I'm sitting there just staring at the succession notice, seeing that I lost that title, and wondering who the hell successfully plotted to kill me. 

Okay, whatever, I guess you can get killed too. I click to play as my heir, and see the message "My character's plot to kill my previous character has succeeded." -.- 

What a fucking idiot. 

[METALMAN]

There were plenty of real Lithuanian crusades!

[Benjamin]

16 hours ago, metalman said:

There were plenty of real Lithuanian crusades!

Yeah, the best part of Crusader Kings II so far is I keep pausing to go and google shit I never even knew, like the fact that people still practice the Romuva religion. 

Also, I only just got why my kingdom is called Eire and not Ireland when I created the kingdom of Wales and it came out as what is evidently Little Britain in Irish? 

[Schlitzbrille]

2 hours ago, Benjamin said:

Yeah, the best part of Crusader Kings II so far is I keep pausing to go and google shit I never even knew, like the fact that people still practice the Romuva religion. 

Also, I only just got why my kingdom is called Eire and not Ireland when I created the kingdom of Wales and it came out as what is evidently Little Britain in Irish? 

Took me months to understand Anglo-Saxon naming, so we were in the same boat kind of.

[Schlitzbrille]

I, for one, see nothing wrong with this.

Testing to see what kind of narratives the game would spit out at me for a vague idea for a Cube game starting at the Crowned Stag bookmark. Nothing super-exciting, so here's a general idea of what's what:
-Benjen hasn't joined the Night's Watch this timeline, commands Moat Cailin instead, is married to Lynesse Hightower. Had a stillborn son about a year ago.
-House rule that I have to name any of Ned/Cat's first five kids the names they had in the books. Normal order for boys and inverse for girls, so in this timeline Arya is the older sister.
-Bobby B died in a trial by combat, the Mannis is doing OK, Renly/Tyene Sand shippers are gonna be in for a fun time. Same for Tyrion/Nymeria Sand.
-Ramsay Snow weirdly turned out to be a somewhat decent character so far, no negative traits outside of still being a bastard.
-Fuck if I care what Xaro Xhoan Daxos is up to, I got tired of hearing his name on the show after about three appearances considering it was required to say his name IN FULL each appearance.
-Gerold Dayne (WHO IS OF THE NIGHT) is still alive, yay. 
-Doran Martell's second son Cletus officially has the lamest name for a character in this timeline. Earl Harlaw is disappointed as a result.

[Meacon Keaton]

Cletus? I knew Dorne was in the South, but not that South. 

[Schlitzbrille]

10 minutes ago, Meacon said:

Cletus? I knew Dorne was in the South, but not that South. 

Oberyn is married to his niece, so that's not totally inaccurate.

[OctoberRaven]

Most folk'll never lose a toe

But then again some folk'll

Like Cletus, the slack-jawed Martell

[Benjamin]

I... I think I accidentally clicked on the wrong succession law to enact in the lifetime of this ruler and now I'll have to give away Scotland to my second oldest son because my eldest is inheriting Ireland and Wales?  

Gavelkind is fucking annoying!

[MalaCloudy Black]

Since when has left-handed been a trait? AND SINCE WHEN IS IT NEGATIVE, PARADOX?