Gazz

I feel your pain. I can't train legs any later than Wednesday otherwise when it comes to football on Saturday morning, it feels like I'm dragging a tractor tyre round with me.

Points earned by Shay Given during his Newcastle career - 4,326,840 Points earned by the rest of the team - 6

Fuck Jazz.

Who the fuck is Milan Jovanovic and how'd he end up on over £100k a week?

Because he looks like he might (and probably could) knock someone's face right off their skull.

K by Kula Shaker.

Remember when I said that the Newcastle fans had criticised me for signing Jack Wilshere, that it was a 'waste of money'? They've just voted him player of the season and the European Championships are turning into Jack Wilshere vs Europe. Jack's winning.

Didn't even think there were 13 year old players. Pics or didn't happen.

If someone fancies a challenge, manage Guerreros in the Mexican Second Division, not only do you get to pretend your chairman is Chavo, your team are all 15 years old, you have no transfer or wage budget and you're £3m in debt with very little income. I tried and my league results were as follows 0-5 0-5 1-5 0-5 0-5 0-5 >_<

It's not like they had a lot of options at this point either, short of bringing Chuck or Couture back.

Fucking West Ham ended my 30 game league unbeaten streak. Bastards And Walker is having a tantrum because I reneged on my promise to sell him in the transfer window. I didn't, I accepted several offers, he just rejected all their contract offers. Not my fault matey boy.

My Premiership clean sheet run has ended in the 14th game of the season. Away to Bristol City, who somehow came back from 2-0 down to draw. I was not pleased. I'm also £52m in the red, it's pretty much the only reason I've agreed to sell Kyle Walker to Bayern for £21m. It's a bit of a bastard because I want to sign Khouma Babacar and Javier Pastore, then I'd have pretty much the best team in the world.

I'm pretty sure the Dyer move has done Newcastle out of appearence money clauses, then again, we were stupid enough to allow West Ham to include them, knowing that he only plays when Hailee's comet is in view.

Totally not needed, I'm Michael Caine.

Still haven't conceded a goal in the league this season so far, I've only conceded 2 in 18 games in total, scoring 51. I still somehow managed to get knocked out the League Cup though. I wish I was cheating, that would explain my superform. :/

Lack of sex probably. Corinthians use all the money they've made flogging their sexy away shirt to bid £35m for Carlos Tevez.

Steve Harper Beckham? I approve.

Do those updates also change the starting dates? I remember downloading them on old versions, but the seasons and competitions remained in the previous year. Nope.

Yeah it's American for "linesman" ... get some culture. American culture? When does the extra time multiball period start?