Song Lyrics That Are Just Wrong/Silly/Annoy You

[Matt]

Following a conversation I've just been having with a mate, I wondered if EWB knew of any more songs where the lyrics are just wrong/stupid, we thought of a few examples, some of them pretty well known.

Jailbreak - Thin Lizzy: "Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak, somewhere in the town"

Somewhere? Really? You don't know where?

What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction: "You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh, that's what makes you beautiful"

Well, you just told her. Now she knows she's beautiful and therefore, is no longer beautiful. Well done.

You're So Vain - Carly Simon: "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you"

By the fact you're talking to them, it clearly is about them.

Save The Best For Last - Vanessa Williams: "Sometimes the sun goes around the moon"

No. Never.

Rotterdam (or anywhere) - Beautiful South: "'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere, anywhere alone"

Rotterdam is in the Netherlands, always has been, always will be.

Ironic - Alanis Morissette: The whole fucking thing is not ironic.

So yeah, EWB, any other examples?

[Colly]

Some are metaphors, and isn't that the whole point of You're So Vain?

[C-MIL]

What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction: "You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh, that's what makes you beautiful"

Well, you just told her. Now she knows she's beautiful and therefore, is no longer beautiful. Well done.

She's so insecure she doesn't think the song is about her.

[Matt]

Some are metaphors, and isn't that the whole point of You're So Vain?

Yeah we were being facetious rather than genuinely criticising the lyrics... for the most part anyway

[New Damage]

Jessie J completely misses the point of lasers:

You're like a laserlight, burning up

Burning down, on me

You're like a laserlight, burning up

Burning down, on me

You make me feel good,

You make me feel safe,

You make me feel like I could live another day

You make me feel good,

You make me feel safe,

You know I wouldn't have it any other way

[Sousa]

What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction: "You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh, that's what makes you beautiful"

Well, you just told her. Now she knows she's beautiful and therefore, is no longer beautiful. Well done.

She's so insecure she doesn't think the song is about her.

Doesn't she? Doesn't she?

[KONGO]

So I assume the last post in this thread is going to read </Nick Adams>

[Daniel Bryan]

Every terrible simile in "Drops of Jupiter" by Train, where he describes a girl who "acts like summer and walks like rain". I don't know how one walks like rain, unless it's in some sort of slanting motion, which probably indicates some serious spinal problems, but she also "listens like spring and talks like June", whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. These don't even work as metaphors!

[KevinStorm]

Every terrible simile in "Drops of Jupiter" by Train, where he describes a girl who "acts like summer and walks like rain". I don't know how one walks like rain, unless it's in some sort of slanting motion, which probably indicates some serious spinal problems, but she also "listens like spring and talks like June", whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. These don't even work as metaphors!

Add in every other song that band has released as well.

[Nick Adams]

"Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen - Before you came in to my life, I missed you so bad

Never mind the poor grammar, since it seems that the error is due to scansion. It is impossible to miss somebody without actually knowing that person.

"Vertigo" - U2 - Unos, dos, tres, catorce!

It translates as "Some, two, three, fourteen!" I realize that they're not Spanish or Latino or even Cuban or Dominican, but come on, who hasn't heard the proper way to count that?

[Sousa]

</Nick Adams>

[METALMAN]

Shit thread.

[Your Mom]

"Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen - Before you came in to my life, I missed you so bad

Never mind the poor grammar, since it seems that the error is due to scansion. It is impossible to miss somebody without actually knowing that person.

She was wanting the love she didn't have but then he came into her life and she had it now

[Sousa]

I was hoping there would be a song called "Airline Food" so I could ask what the deal with it was.

[Dogbert]

Ironic - Alanis Morissette: The whole fucking thing is not ironic.

The song itself is ironic. Not sure that's how she intended it (likely not), but it's there.

[tristy]

Nine Inch Nails' Getting Smaller - "I've still got my one good arm, that I can beat, that I can beat myself up with!"

[Colly]

I demand that all lyrics should be statements of fact from now on.

[Summers]

This thread is fucking dumb.

[SeanDMan]

You only need one hand to beat yourself.

[Skummy]

No one criticises the Beautiful South, not on my watch!

The whole point of the song is "this could be Rotterdam or anywhere". The entire point of the song is that culture is homogenized, that because of that, you could be in Rotterdam, Liverpool or Rome - any major city is interchangeable with another. It's about as straightforward as lyrics get.

As for actual silly lyrics, I've always been slightly baffled by Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love" featuring the line "my heart sweats" and, more unsettlingly, "oblivion is all I crave".