Sousa

I don't get hype.

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward Mark Henry.

i'll stop those terrorists. OR DIE TRYIN'.

My client Brock Lesnar conquered the Moors.

For those of you who were wondering (none of you), I really ended up hating running the chocobo racing thing, updating it wasn't fun, and so now that I've got more time, I'm not really interested in giving it another go. Sorry, guys.

From now on, whenever someone says "the guy can go in the ring," I'm going to assume people mean that he can take a whiz on the turnbuckle.

It is a hammer, BUT FOR BULLS.

Dan Severn and Ken Shamrock were in an eating contest. Shamrock managed to finish off eight hot dogs, but Severn ate nine.

That is one racist Chinese cat, The Aristocats. FORTUNE COOKIE ALWAYS WRONG

Dean Douglas and I are using proper pronoun case and eschewing sentence fragments.

Nicely done, everyone.

Come back. We need you.

Arn Anderson Cooper.

When it's all going wrong and it hurts your head! You've gotta stand up, show the world you're not dead! If you mess with them, then you mess with me! I gotta stay strong for what I beliiiiiiiieve! We are all true Americans! Battle each night throughout the land! We are all true Americans! Battle all night! For what is right!

AMERICAAAAAAAAAAA

*walks onto front porch* *sees flaming bag of poo* "I JUST MADE YOU MY BITCH!" John Romero screams as he squeals out on his motorcycle, cackling all the while.

Sage advice, Eugene Levy. I will not start smoking.

In Xanadu did Kangaskhan a stately Safari Zone decree.

Look, all I'm saying is that Christina Ricci is still hot in a pig nose.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me. Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW and run off into the hills or whatever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder, "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts!

I wonder what people without assholes think about the "opinions are like assholes" phrase. You know there's somebody out there with a fused anus or something terrible like that; does his (or her) opinion not count?

The Flying Car of the Future Today is still pulling a bit to the right.

I'm tired of looking at everything in the Ring "from a business perspective." Just once I want to look at wrestling from a Dadaist perspective.