What Did You Watch Today?

[stokeriño]

It's utterly paint-by-numbers. It's the sort of film where you watch the first 15 minutes and already know what the plot arc of remaining 2 hours is...but you just have to sit there and watch it with grim inevitability.

[TKz]

I thought it was alright. I definitely wouldn't have watched it if I didn't torrent it and chuck it on whilst playing a game. And having seen it, I'm not sure I'd miss the experience of having watched it.

Haven't seen Rise yet.

[Benji]

Wait, isn't Rise the first one of that pair? I've seen the first one, whichever that is.

[King Ellis]

It goes Night of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and then Day of the Planet of the Apes.

[Benjamin]

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was fucking awesome. The reboot is actually pretty damn good, especially when you don't compare it to the original series.

[King Ellis]

Mortal Kombat: Anhilation

It's odd that I can be so unenthused about Batman, a movie in which The Joker laments about Batman stealing his balloons, but get some small measure of joy from the absurdity of this one. After all, within the first ten minutes alone we have the unceremonious death of Johnny Cage, Sindel murdering acting with her infamous "Too badYOU....will die!" line, a fairly unimpressive looking Shao Kahn and the introduction of a sub-terranian network of tunnels used to traverse the globe within hours using giant hamster balls. Actually, that last one is especially fitting since starring as Motaro, the Centaur creature, is the former American Gladiator 'Malibu', Deron McBee.

They actually do cut back on the use of that one song this time, Raiden throws a mean uppercut that knocks someone through the ceiling (which makes me wonder if introduced stage changing attacks into the game at this point) and Shao Kahn knocks a few of his minions into a lava pit as means of punishment, so it's nice to see little things from the games and the various characters make their appearances. But, the novelty wears off and your fanservice of Sonya essentially mud wrestling Mileena isn't going to save you, movie.

Oh, and this also helps me prove my point about the Phantasm design being a tad generic since there's a resemblance between it and Noob Saibot.

The Brave Little Toaster

Don't you just love deceptively scary kids movies? I mean, here you've got a light fitting doing his best Peter Lorre impression, the AC unit exploding, the whole scrapyard finale and of course that creepy fireman clown. Really like the characters here too like the, be it their physical designs with the lamps bulb being his nose or their personalities like the curmudgeonly vacuum or the Jon Lovitz voiced radio. The AC unit is a little weird to me caus it's Phil Hartman doing the voice but it sounds like him doing a Billy West impression or the other way around. The blanket is really fucking weird though. You can take any number of out of context screencaps from it's fantasy of the 'master' returning and make good nightmare fuel from them.

Bernie (2011)

I liked the mix of documentary/talking heads style in with the more standard presentation. Along with Black's performance, it does a good job of building up the sweet character of Bernie before everything turns. What I found odd amongst the talking heads though was, when speaking of Bernie's job at the funeral home getting the bodies ready for their funeral or whatever, one of the people says "He always did such a good job getting us ready. It didn't matter if we were run over with a car or....he just always made us look so lifelike" or words to that effect. Made it sound like they were interviewing people from beyond the grave or something the way the guy worded it.

Weird Science

I don't like this movie for teasing me with the idea of a colourised version of the 1933 Frankenstein. I'd be quite curious to watch that but, no, apparently it was made especially for the movie. The first ten minutes alone just had me in awe at all the crazy stuff I was seeing, from some sort of modem that you had to physically put a phone on top of rather than just plug a cable into (was that a thing?!), some kind of crazy scanner that not only interpret physical attributes based on pictures fed into it but also the subjects brain power and then distribute that into it's AI, hacking into some government mainframe whose security system played out like some version of Tempest or the tunnel sections of Starfox and then the comparatively more mundane idea of these two kids wearing bras on their heads except for the fact that for one of those kids, that's his sister or mothers bra so pretty weird. And then this woman comes out and starts making out with them and taking a shower with them despite the fact they're only 15? That's only really scratching the surface too, just a crazy spectale to watch but a lot of fun because of it.

Friday the 13th Part 2

Pretty bland slasher affair but it's somewhat interesting how the image of Jason that's built up in terms of his look, the hockey mask and the sort of tatty jeans/jackets still isn't in place and you've got him running around in dungarees with a sack over his head. Jason pretty much ruined the summer of any teenage boy in the area though by killing these counselors, one of whom has seemingly never heard of a bra and another who might as well have not been wearing a shirt at all given how small the one she was wearing was.

Basket Case 3

Like Weird Science, Basket Case should be a real spectacle but if you're watching the third one then presumably you've seen the first two so you're used to everything by now, especially since the majority of characters from 2 carry over. Therefore a lot of the weirdness comes not from the crazy 'freaks' on display and more the oddities amongst the normal people like the cops freaking out or the sheriff's daughter who has a thing for cons, has erotic lingerie under her everyday clothes and has a bullwhip stashed near the jail cells. I wasn't really expecting to be but by the end of the movie I was really pumped up for another sequel as Granny Ruth leads her 'family' out of the shadows and into the real world but alas, it wasn't to be.

Batman Returns

Still really ehhhhhhhhhhhhh on these Burton films but I suppose it helped that I was ready for more wacky stuff after the first one. I touched upon the idea of how run down the population of Gotham must be to risk their lives to try and scrounge up loose bills from the Joker and that goes even further here when they seem to be seriously getting behind the idea of electing Penguin mayor. The guy's teeth are more like green fangs for God's sake! I liked when Catwoman broke into Shreck's department store or whatever and the guards are like "Fuck this, I don't get paid enough for this shit."

[MalaCloudy Black]

Heh, I just watched the first Friday the 13th last night because I found out it's on Netflix now. I had forgotten that in the first movie, Jason isn't the killer (spoiler alert!), but it definitely still goes for the whole "girls don't wear bras / wear tiny shirts" thing. I swear no counselor in the movie wears a bra. Who goes to camp without a bra?! Are you trying to give the kids their first fantasies or something? Which reminds me, this was maybe the first movie I ever saw naked boob in.

Which Friday the 13th film was it where a couple's killed while having sex? Is that a redundant question? Is the answer "all of them"? There's one in particular that I remember pretty vividly, where a guy's impaled through a tree. That's the one I'm thinking of. I don't know which movie that's from.

[King Ellis]

There's one in two where a couple are fucking, Jason walks in and puts some sort of spear or something through them, the bed and into the floor.

And back to the sexy counselor talk, the one with the tiny top also has a scene where she has these hot pants just really riding up her ass crack and one of the guys is just creeping on her from some bushes and pings something off it with his slingshot. So even if the kids aren't boob guys, they're covered!

[MalaCloudy Black]

The one I'm thinking of happened outdoors. I do remember the scene you're talking about, though.

[LL!]

I thought it was alright. I definitely wouldn't have watched it if I didn't torrent it and chuck it on whilst playing a game. And having seen it, I'm not sure I'd miss the experience of having watched it.

Haven't seen Rise yet.

Oh come on. That's not really watching it if you're playing a game at the same time.

[Sousa]

Best part of Mortal Kombat Annihilation is either the committee of white people tasked with writing Jax's dialogue or Baraka inexplicably turning into Rain so they don't have to film a second guy getting thrown into a pit.

[TKz]

I thought it was alright. I definitely wouldn't have watched it if I didn't torrent it and chuck it on whilst playing a game. And having seen it, I'm not sure I'd miss the experience of having watched it.

Haven't seen Rise yet.

Oh come on. That's not really watching it if you're playing a game at the same time.

Well I mean it was like, Final Fantasy 7 or 8, so the attention split would be 70/30 in favor of the film. Still, I'm not sure it would've held my attention if I wasn't doing something else meanwhile.

[stokeriño]

Escape from Alcatraz was very good. Though watching certain parts was kinda weird due to being so familiar with The Shawshank Redemption from several years later (and all the similar bits it has).

[DFF]

Saw Whiplash yesterday. Brilliant film, and two excellent lead performances.

[Ruki]

Kingsman. It's so damn good. And surprisingly violent.

[Roster Depth Sicko No. 2]

I know right? That church scene was fantastic.

[Benjamin]

Finally saw Irma la Douce. Might be my least favorite Billy Wilder movie right now.

[Monkey D. Lars]

It goes Night of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and then Day of the Planet of the Apes.

I see what you did there Ellis

[stokeriño]

Stokerina insisted I watched Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, despite having seen it and openly acknowledging its badness. Grrr.

Also Rio 2, which was 'eh' but I got to enjoy Kristin Chenoweth as a frog, so yay.

[Monkey D. Lars]

Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin (1978), Nice little kung fu movie starring Jackie Chan. WHO ELSE?