The Barclays Premier League Thread 2013/14

[Lineker]

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

As for Sherwood, lol. Should be a laugh either way.

[EddieG]

Genuinely surprised they didn't get Van Gaal, must be either financially related or on Spurs' end 'cause Van Gaal said in an afternoon that he was pretty sure he was about to sign a contract.

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

I'd imagine that Sherwood told Levy and co. that he had plenty of youth he could bring in and wouldn't want to be making any new signings in the January window. He'll also be playing our "special brand" of attacking football which, frankly, could be a disaster as often as a success. After all, until Martin Jol we spent pretty much every year of my life scoring loads of goals, conceding loads, looking great on some days, terrible on others and finishing between 7th and 14th every season.

[Colly]

IF we get a win against Stoke (and its an if, we love to kill good runs), our game against Arsenal on Sunday could be for a top four place. Fuck me.

It's weird, we're playing better than we did the season we finished fifth, but sadly there aren't the same number of other teams massively underperforming as there were two years ago.

[TCO]

Yeah, not a chance we get anywhere close to top 5 again. The current top 4 are all much better and Everton aren't far behind them. You have to account for Spurs and United being far less shit after Christmas too. Top 7 or 8 is a reasonable goal to aim for.

[Colly]

I think I just said that...

[TCO]

I think I just said that...

Yeah I wasn't saying it in disagreement, I was elaborating further on your point, which I agreed with!

[stokeriño]

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

Liverpool were also top of the table at Christmas in 1990-91, 1996-97 and 2008-09.

Guess what happened in none of those seasons.

[EddieG]

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

Liverpool were also top of the table at Christmas in 1990-91, 1996-97 and 2008-09.

Guess what happened in none of those seasons.

Chelsea winning the league.

[Colly]

I think I just said that...

Yeah I wasn't saying it in disagreement, I was elaborating further on your point, which I agreed with!

Good. So you should.

[stokeriño]

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

Liverpool were also top of the table at Christmas in 1990-91, 1996-97 and 2008-09.

Guess what happened in none of those seasons.

Chelsea winning the league.

Come on now, if everybody chips in with their own examples of irrelevant correlation we'll be here all night.

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

Liverpool were also top of the table at Christmas in 1990-91, 1996-97 and 2008-09.

Guess what happened in none of those seasons.

Chelsea winning the league.

Come on now, if everybody chips in with their own examples of irrelevant correlation we'll be here all night.

Kaney DIDN'T drink any Irn-Bru?

[METALMAN]

We just need a couple of bad puns then it's a typical

Liverpool are top of the table at Christmas.

You know what though? Sod it, I hope they win it.

Liverpool were also top of the table at Christmas in 1990-91, 1996-97 and 2008-09.

Guess what happened in none of those seasons.

Chelsea winning the league.

Come on now, if everybody chips in with their own examples of irrelevant correlation we'll be here all night.

We just need a couple of bad puns and it's a typical day at EWB!

[Colly]

A metalman quote fail makes it ultra typical. I honestly don't know how you do that.

[METALMAN]

I have no idea either! I'd have blamed it on my iPad or my phone as usual but I'm pretty sure I used the computer for that one. :/

[Lineker]

A Premier League footballer has been charged with assaulting a police officer over an incident at an Essex night club popular with celebrities.

West Ham player James Tomkins, 24, was refused entry at the Sugar Hut Village in Brentwood early on Sunday and security staff called police.

Mr Tomkins was taken into custody and charged with assault, resisting arrest and being drunk and disorderly.

He will appear at Basildon Magistrates' Court on 9 January, police said.

Earlier in the day he had played against Manchester United at Old Trafford.

A police spokesman said: "Officers were called by security staff from the Sugar Hut Village shortly before 00:30 GMT on Sunday following reports of a disturbance."

He added that Mr Tomkins, from Brentwood, was later charged with one count of assaulting a police officer, one count of resisting arrest and one count of being drunk and disorderly in a public place.

The defender was released on police bail until his court appearance.

[Plubby]

West Hammers gon' West Ham.

[brenchill]

Tim Sherwood will mostly be playing four-four-fucking-two

[Colly]

What was Sherwoods old job title? Head Coach feels a bit woolly to me, in a 'we can appoint a manager above you if you're rubbish' kind of way.

[Blue Rosler]

A Premier League footballer has been charged with assaulting a police officer over an incident at an Essex night club popular with celebrities.

West Ham player James Tomkins, 24, was refused entry at the Sugar Hut Village in Brentwood early on Sunday and security staff called police.

Mr Tomkins was taken into custody and charged with assault, resisting arrest and being drunk and disorderly.

He will appear at Basildon Magistrates' Court on 9 January, police said.

Earlier in the day he had played against Manchester United at Old Trafford.

A police spokesman said: "Officers were called by security staff from the Sugar Hut Village shortly before 00:30 GMT on Sunday following reports of a disturbance."

He added that Mr Tomkins, from Brentwood, was later charged with one count of assaulting a police officer, one count of resisting arrest and one count of being drunk and disorderly in a public place.

The defender was released on police bail until his court appearance.

At the station, Tomkins claimed he was a builder. When it was discovered that he was actually a footballer, he was all PHONE MR ALLARDYCE. MR ALLARDYCE WILL SAY SO.

A prize bellend.

Source: Mates who are Essex police officers.