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Mick

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Status Updates posted by Mick

  1. Mick

    So...whoever knew...that the Cook was involved....killed her?

    1. Lint

      Lint

      Plant? I thought they called people like you fruits

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Very funny. FBI. That phone call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me. I told you I didn't do it!

    3. Commander Sheepard

      Commander Sheepard

      Ok chief, take 'em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.

  2. Mick

    Good idea: Going on the most intense roller coaster ever made. Bad idea: Going on Mr. Bone's Wild Ride

    1. Schlitzbrille

      Schlitzbrille

      Nonsense. Who wouldn't wanna ride on a year-long roller coaster?

    2. Mick

      Mick

      I wanna get off MR. BONES' WILD RIDE.

    3. Schlitzbrille

      Schlitzbrille

      MR. BONES is life. MR. BONES is love.

  3. Mick

    This company is being bled like a stuck pick, Mac, and I've got the paper trail to prove it.

    1. EWB's Best Poster.

      EWB's Best Poster.

      The phrase is usually stuck pig. Hence the blood.

    2. Nerf

      Nerf

      That right there is the mail!

    3. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      There is no Carol in HR!

  4. Mick

    I may close early today. There's a 15-day wait on the handguns but the rifles you can take right now. You can't do that.

    1. Blehschmidt

      Blehschmidt

      Sarah Connor?

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Wrong.

    3. Mick

      Mick

      *BLAM*

  5. Mick

    And Monkey's Brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.

    1. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      Communism was just a red herring.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Like the Mounties, we always get our man.

    3. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      He threatened to kill me in public.

  6. Mick

    @!#?@!

    1. LUKIE

      LUKIE

      no u r

    2. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Q-Bert? Dat you cursing up the joint?

    3. Mick

      Mick

      Yes. See, this is why Ellis is typically better than all of you.

  7. Mick

    Girls have a penis, boys have a vagina.

    1. Mick

      Mick

      Wait a minute...

    2. CobraKaiEnTai

      CobraKaiEnTai

      and hermaphrodites have both.

    3. Jason Patricks

      Jason Patricks

      By this logic hermaphrodites have neither

  8. Mick

    Maybe it's the beer talking EWB, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewey pretzels here that ahrdrelaksnd beer FIVE DOLLARS?! Get out of here...

    1. Rich

      Rich

      Hawt

    2. apsham

      apsham

      Watching old Krabappel episodes, eh?

    3. Mick

      Mick

      No, I was drinking last night.

  9. Mick

    So I start marching my way down to Carol in HR, and I knock on her door, and I say "CAROL, CAROL, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT PEPE!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! THERE. IS. NO. CAROL IN HR.

    1. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      I got boxes full of Pepe!

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Meacon, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

    3. HC

      HC

      Channel your inner Milton and torch the place.

  10. Mick

    Who would have known that Darth Vader was Walter White's father?

    1. HC

      HC

      SPOILERS MAN!!!!

    2. Sousa

      Sousa

      Walter White and Tyler Durden were both the same person: a sled that he had growing up.

      A sled that was the sixth incarnation of the Matrix's self-created anomaly.

      An anomaly named Keyser Soze.

    3. Chris2K

      Chris2K

      Oh thank you Mr. Blow-the-TV-show for me!

  11. Mick

    Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me today.

    1. SlicedBread

      SlicedBread

      at the shoe store?

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Huh.

    3. Whtie Dolphin

      Whtie Dolphin

      You fell off a structure onto a running gag?

  12. Mick

    FREE DOM

    1. Fudge

      Fudge

      Who's Dom?

    2. Mick

      Mick

      You've never head of Dom Perignon?

    3. Fudge

      Fudge

      I have now!

  13. Mick

    Now, can someone tell me, why in 1975, we pulled our forces out of Vietnam?

    1. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      We didn't want it to get pregnant.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      ....Is he right?

    3. Rocky

      Rocky

      Yes, but it doesn't mean they succeeded.

  14. Mick

    I am now enrolled in college :D .

    1. OctoberRaven

      OctoberRaven

      His first class: Lead pipe physics. His teacher: Dr. Scott Steiner, LPD.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Sweet, my dad used to insure Scott Steiner!

    3. New Damage

      New Damage

      I think it was more the other way around, Scott insured you. With a lead pipe.

  15. Mick

    I don't understand my own dillusion :(

    1. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Try taking a long hard look in the mirror.

    2. TEOL

      TEOL

      I took a long hard look in the mirror and said Candyman three times.

    3. KONGO

      KONGO

      Brine and cry all you want, if you weren't so busy bullying, Danish of you would see that JBH has a point.

      Pickle puns are really difficult.

  16. Mick

    No, no, no! This suckers electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity that I need.

    1. Benji

      Benji

      Heavy.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      What did I just say?!

    3. Mick

      Mick

      "No, no, no! This suckers electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts" D: 1.21 GIGAWATTS?!?!?!?!?!?!

  17. Mick

    EWB JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES, $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT INFO...IT IS OFFICIAL IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. EWB WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW DONATION SYSTEM CHANGE

    1. Mick

      Mick

      Better safe than sorry.

    2. Damian WayLNKe

      Damian WayLNKe

      I saw like 100 other people post this. It must be true.

    3. Magus978

      Magus978

      Since when is anything on EWB ever a lie :D

  18. Mick

    I know a place at the edge of the Red Light District where we can lay low. But my hands are messed up, so you better drive, brother.

    1. Rocky

      Rocky

      Having just restarted San Andreas, I now want to play III.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Nah, go with VC.

    3. Rocky

      Rocky

      I just continued wit San Andreas... MY III has a crack in it :(

  19. Mick

    Out on the town lookin' for a woman Gonna give me good love Anybody want to hang out with me And maybe burn me up She was standin' alone over by the jukebox Like she's somethin' to sell I said, baby what's the goin'-price She told me to go to hell....

    1. Bigal

      Bigal

      Shot down in flames, shot down in flames, ain't it a shame to be shot down in flames?

    2. Quom

      Quom

      That's no good Mick. Although I'm sure it's not the first time a hooker has decided you're not worth the money.

    3. Mick

      Mick

      She's clearly not a hooker though!

  20. Mick

    If the money's in the bank, why do they need ladders?

    1. Kaney

      Kaney

      Yeah! And whats the deal with metaphors, am I right!

    2. Hobo

      Hobo

      How come the Royal Rumble is full of people who aren't Royalty?

    3. Matt

      Matt

      Ooh ooh... something about Survivor Series and war veterans.

  21. Mick

    I have come to the conclusion that one useless man, is called a disgrace. That TWO, are called a law firm, and THREE or more make up a Congress.

    1. Josh

      Josh

      http://snarkfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Jay-Leno-SF.jpg
    2. Sousa

      Sousa

      And what's the deal with airline food?

    3. Josh

      Josh

      Ladies, back me up on this one!

  22. Mick

    Hens love roosters, geese love ganders Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

    1. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Not me.

    2. Mick

      Mick

      Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

    3. NobBe Nobbs

      NobBe Nobbs

      Ned Flanders is a cunt.

  23. Mick

    Raw in one minute, real question is: Will EWB stay up?

    1. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      As long as we take it slow...

    2. Rocky

      Rocky

      Seemed to have survived.

      I'm proud of you EWB.

    3. =BK=

      =BK=

      yeah it survived RAW then passed out for an hour afterwards out of exhaustion.

  24. Mick

    Why can't I see the cube or lounge?!

    1. fr34k

      fr34k

      See RW, nobody cares about graphics or the TEWR forum.

    2. TEOL

      TEOL

      They were disabled for gays.

    3. Sousa

      Sousa

      We took a vote and decided that you had to go.

  25. Mick

    :@ @ Teachers letting the class out early. I'M PAYING FOR THIS CLASS, DAMINT :@.

    1. ClaRK! Kent

      ClaRK! Kent

      Teachers have lives too, you know. He probably needed to go buy some jeans or something, cut the guy some slack.

    2. C-MIL

      C-MIL

      Serves you right for going to a class taught by a guy named DaMint.

      What are you studying anyway? Gangsta rap?

    3. Mick

      Mick

      Public speaking :shifty:

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