Euro 2016

[Rich]

16 minutes ago, Lineker said:

Undermining me!

I mean, I would be if you had any real effectiveness, power or ability.

[Lineker]

:/

[Lineker]

tbh the Guardian's complete guide to every team and player is the best, actually.

[TCO]

I like how they noted that Stephen Ward was so shit as a striker he got moved to left back where he's also shit.

[Gazz]

http://eurofantasy.uefa.com/en/fantasy16/leagues

EWB League!

Code is 01833P1I

 

[Lineker]

Roy Hodgson says Wayne Rooney will be mandatory starter at Euro 2016

 

[MDK]

Roy Keane Walks Out Of Ireland Euros Camp

 

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Roy Keane has sensationally walked out of the Republic of Ireland’s training headquarters in Versailles. Assistant Manager Keane recently slammed the Irish squad after a poor final warm-up game against Belarus, and has reportedly been unhappy with preparations.

McGeady

“The usual nonsense,” Keane told Soccer on Sunday. “Players not tuned in, thinking we’re here for a jolly. I burst into Aidan McGeady’s bedroom this morning to tell him he’s shite. I was looking for a strong reaction, but the lad burst into tears. ‘Please Roy, not again, I can’t take it any more‘. Usual. Not strong enough. Mentally, afraid of that next step.”

“And the facilities are a joke,” added the Corkman. “I went out at 3 am this morning with a hacksaw and had the goalposts down in 45 minutes flat. Shoddy craftsmanship. A bit of petrol, and the bibs went up like a bonfire too. Not even flame-retardant. Now we’ve no goalposts and no gear. Typical FAI.”

Stool

With Keane gone, several members of the squad admit to feeling relieved.

“Roy frightens me,” James McCarthy told Soccer on Sunday. “He asked me how I was feeling yesterday, and when I said I found a bit of blood in my stool, he lost it. ‘It’s a man’s game’, he roared at me. ‘Your poo should be redder than Alex Ferguson’s nose’.  Then he told me I was turning into a right littleMcGeady, which was horrible for Aidan because he was standing a few feet away with his parents.”

“He also kept screaming that I’m just like my ould’ fella,” the Everton midfielder added. “I think he thinks I’m Mick McCarthy’s son. It would explain why he always asks after my dad, and seems disappointed when I say he’s doing well.”

O’Neill

Ireland manager Martin O’Neill is disappointed, but not surprised to have lost Keane.

“Roy is Roy,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “It was always likely to end this way. Do I wish he hadn’t walked out? Yes. Do I wish he hadn’t sliced all of our footballs in two, and cut the nipples out of every match-day jersey? Absolutely. But the show goes on.”

[Gazz]

On 03/06/2016 at 22:38, Lineker said:

Roy Hodgson says Wayne Rooney will be mandatory starter at Euro 2016

 

So that'll be two 0-0's and a scrappy 1-0 win versus Slovakia. Wonderful.

[Adam]

That's likely to happen to England whether or not Rooney plays to be fair. That's us for the last decade almost.

[Bobfoc]

I'd have thought that Slovakia will be the toughest match of the three.

[Colly]

On the plus side with this format that would get us through to the knockouts.

[EddieG]

2 hours ago, Adam said:

That's likely to happen to England whether or not Rooney plays to be fair. That's us for the last decade almost.

So pretty much the entire time Rooney's been a starter?

[METALMAN]

I think you have to adjust your expectations downwards in a post-Sven era.

[Adam]

10 hours ago, EddieG said:

So pretty much the entire time Rooney's been a starter?

It isn't because of Rooney though.

[Lineker]

Ukrainian security agency says Frenchman held with large cache of arms planned mass attacks on Euro 2016

[Baddar]

Put my first bets on the tournament today...

£5 on France, Spain, England, Germany and Poland to win their opening matches - returns just shy of £50.

£1 on Martial top scorer, 25/1.

[MDK]

41 minutes ago, Baddar said:

Put my first bets on the tournament today...

£5 on France, Spain, England, Germany and Poland to win their opening matches - returns just shy of £50.

£1 on Martial top scorer, 25/1.

Did you not hear about Martials injury?

[METALMAN]

2 hours ago, Baddar said:

£1 on Martial top scorer, 25/1.

If Martial didn't even score against Scotland he doesn't have much chance against proper football teams. :/

[MDK]

50 minutes ago, metalman said:

If Martial didn't even score against Scotland he doesn't have much chance against proper football teams. :/

Stop stealing my lines

[Adam]

I loved this in the BBC report on England's arrival at their training base in Chantilly.

Quote

The squad's reception included horses and riders donning ceremonial costume from the nearby Museum of the Horse, while hunting horns sounded as the coaching staff and players made their way off the coach.

Just picturing Roy clambering off the bus hankering for a much needed cup of tea and a digestive whilst bugles sound out all around him makes me laugh. And behold, I don't even need to just imagine it:

"These bloody French twats with their horns and their hats. Someone get Wazza to the breakfast bar pronto."