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Skummy

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Status Updates posted by Skummy

  1. Skummy

    The inside of an elephant is mental.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. TEOL

      TEOL

      The inside of an elephant is nelephan.

      Which sounds like the drug in a zombie movie.

    3. EddieG

      EddieG

      I keep thinking it says metal.

    4. Skummy

      Skummy

      Kaney wins.

  2. Skummy

    I finally realise why Lostprophets sounded so awful. The band were playing in C Sharp, while Ian was in A Minor

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. brenchill

      brenchill

      Haha.

    3. Maxx

      Maxx

      Heard this joke yesterday but Skummy phrased it so much better.

    4. Maxx

      Maxx

      Heard this joke yesterday but Skummy phrased it so much better.

  3. Skummy

    I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Josh

      Josh

      Can I play the piano anymore?

    3. Commander Sheepard

      Commander Sheepard

      Of course you can

    4. Skummy

      Skummy

      Well I couldn't before!

  4. Skummy

    Why did Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Hobo

      Hobo

      His real name was Ewar Woowar.

    3. TGWL

      TGWL

      Ward Edwoodward

    4. Sousa

      Sousa

      Dddddd Dddddddd.

  5. Skummy

    is a jobber ass homo :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. TEOL

      TEOL

      Please, you didn't even make the top ten list.

    3. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      He was, though. Right at the top at #10.

    4. TEOL

      TEOL

      No, that was me! It told me it was me!

  6. Skummy

    I won the Nigerian Lottery!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. KONGO

      KONGO

      By "win" we mean "give us your account number please."

    3. hugobomb

      hugobomb

      IT'S A TRAP!

    4. GA!

      GA!

      I won the Greek lottery. :(

  7. Skummy

    Kevin Nash texted himself.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Quom

      Quom

      stop texting yourself, stop texting yourself

    3. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Text yourself before you wreck yourself.

    4. LUKIE

      LUKIE

      Ellis wins EWB.

  8. Skummy

    LEM - BIT O - PIK *clap clap clap*

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. New Damage

      New Damage

      Yeah, you may run into Baddar. ¬_¬

    3. jrhodes

      jrhodes

      DEMS! DEMS! DEMS!

    4. stevev10

      stevev10

      Dirty tree hugging liberal democrats!

  9. Skummy

    I feel so fragile.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Skummy

      Skummy

      exactly that.

    3. 9 to 5

      9 to 5

      Best not go to any butcher's shops in the meantime in case you have a weep.

    4. IDOL

      IDOL

      Are you made of porcelain by any chance?

  10. Skummy

    I don't expect I'll be around much for the next two days - have yourselves a merry little Christmas, EWB! x

    1. Lineker

      Lineker

      Likewise Skummy!

    2. SRN

      SRN

      You too, Skummy!

    3. deli

      deli

      Merry Christmas to you too!

  11. Skummy

    I HAVE NEVER EATEN MARIJUANA

    1. Skummy

      Skummy

      HOW MANY DRUGS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR CABINET HOME?

    2. Sousa

      Sousa

      ALL YOU PUBLIANS CAN'T GET WITH IT

    3. JasonM

      JasonM

      HOW CAN YOU LEARN TO FALL FROM AN 20 FEET HASH PIPE?!

  12. Skummy
    http://nyanwaits.com
    1. Sousa

      Sousa

      Outstanding.

    2. TEOL

      TEOL

      Why.

    3. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Fun hater. =/

  13. Skummy

    Vader Time Magazine's Man Of The Year.

    1. probablyoliver

      probablyoliver

      yeah but that's only six minutes in regular time.

    2. VerbalPuke

      VerbalPuke

      fuck yeah

    3. Whtie Dolphin

      Whtie Dolphin

      not Harley Race

  14. Skummy

    There's no "I" in "Mitt Romney".

    1. LL!

      LL!

      But there is a definitely a "Me" in "Mitt Romney!"

    2. gunnar hendershow

      gunnar hendershow

      There's no "USA" in "Mitt Romney"

    3. Lineker

      Lineker

      'Mitt' is in fact short for 'Mitthew'.

  15. Skummy

    Karen Gillan wants to be on Inspector Spacetime.

    1. Skummy

      Skummy

      incidentally, I'm changing my name to Inspector Spacetime.

    2. Skummy

      Skummy

      Your move, Gillan.

    3. stokeriño

      stokeriño

      I'd be glad to inspect her space...time? (damn it, so close)

  16. Skummy

    must be a alien or sutin

    1. Summers

      Summers

      gerybaboona!

    2. Kaney

      Kaney

      you peopl are made from shit sperm!

    3. Liam

      Liam

      we are made from god's sperm!

  17. Skummy

    never wants to have to write a War Games match ever again.

    1. brenchill

      brenchill

      THE MATCH BEYOND!

    2. GA!

      GA!

      Next time: War Games 2000. Swerve after swerve after swerve. And did someone say "long lost triplets"?

    3. Gazz

      Gazz

      REMATCH CLAUSE!

  18. Skummy

    Back to work tomorrow, and then hopefully back to the important task of bothering to write up the latest show in my diary. 'tis the season.

    1. King Ellis

      King Ellis

      Email recieved 3.06pm - 25 Dec - "Where my flowers? I am 95 years old. I needed them for Christmas."

      Email recieved - 4.15pm - Dec 26 - "So much for customer service, it has been 24 hours and no response to my email? This is a nonsense."

    2. Skummy

      Skummy

      +1 for "this is a nonsense".

    3. Gazz

      Gazz

      The Master is 936 years old, where are his flowers?

      Chillingly sincere,

      The Taskmaster

  19. Skummy

    shot a man in Tescos, just to watch him die.

    1. fr34k

      fr34k

      was he drinking coffee and smoking big cigars?

    2. DJ Ice

      DJ Ice

      If so, It wasn't me. If he wasn't it could have been me :o

    3. Gazz

      Gazz

      Please tell me you got some milk, I've been nagging you for days...

  20. Skummy

    People who are scared of paedophiles need to grow up.

    1. Gazz

      Gazz

      And stop playing in playgrounds and primary schools

    2. LUKIE

      LUKIE

      And stop being fat, candy eaters.

    3. hugobomb

      hugobomb

      And stop reading the Mail

  21. Skummy

    you're not really an alcoholic until you've woken up with your own vomit in your eyelashes.

    1. Nerf

      Nerf

      What about someone else's vomit?

    2. Skummy

      Skummy

      that's a whole different kettle of fish.

    3. Skummy

      Skummy

      but how would you know? You can't exactly dust for vomit.

  22. Skummy

    ‎"For all the fascinating, terrifying things happening in China, I just can‘t get past one central fact of Chinese political life, which is that the president of China is called Hu Jintao, and Prime-Minister of China is called Wen Jiabao. So the president is Who, and the Prime-Minister is When. Ladies and gentlemen, we're in a marvellous early 20th century vaudeville routine."

    1. Sousa

      Sousa

      And their third baseman is I Don't Know Zemin.

    2. The Brian J

      The Brian J

      Isn't Jintao the bad guy from the first Rush Hour movie?

    3. Olive the other Jiberdeer

      Olive the other Jiberdeer

      Yes, Hu's on first...not the pronoun, but a player with the unlikely name of Hu.

  23. Skummy

    JUST LOOK AT CM PUNK.

    1. Skummy

      Skummy

      or, alternatively, talk about Wade Barrett.

    2. Sousa

      Sousa

      We ARE talking about Wade Barrett...

    3. Kaney

      Kaney

      MORE

  24. Skummy

    "I'm sure you all saw on the news that all those miners got free. Jerry Lawler finally unlocked his door."

    1. Blehschmidt

      Blehschmidt

      Missy Hyatt has sucked off so many wrestlers, she spits Soma's

    2. Skummy

      Skummy

      When I first met Bob Holly, he was a young guy nobody had heard of who couldn't work a lick. Now everybody's heard of him.

    3. Blehschmidt

      Blehschmidt

      Nick Dinsmore came up to me and said Mr. Cornette, Mr. Cornette, did you see my last match? I said, God Damn I Hope So!

  25. Skummy

    wishes wrestling shows still had names like TURKEY DAY TURMOIL

    1. Skummy

      Skummy

      or, indeed, taglines like "teams of five thrive to survive!"

    2. MalaCloudy Black

      MalaCloudy Black

      YES

    3. C-MIL

      C-MIL

      A Match Made In Heaven...

      A MATCH MADE IN HELL!!!

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