Premier League 2017/18

[Baddar]

33 minutes ago, Lineker said:

Harry Kane ruled out of the Utd game tomorrow with a hamstring injury. Shit.

[stokeriño]

It's not like Spurs weren't just going to roll over anyway. They've won, what, twice at Old Trafford in more than 25 years?

[Lineker]

Eh - we were more than fine without Kane last season. It'll still be a tight game.

[DavidMarrio]

I wouldn't worry too much. Mourinho will play for a 0-0

[Adam]

5 hours ago, Lineker said:

Harry Kane ruled out of the Utd game tomorrow with a hamstring injury. Shit.

This is certainly good news for 7 of 8 players in our Fantasy League.

But not for me

[MDK]

@Adam @Troy

David Moyes at Everton

Quote

Police Called As David Moyes Seen Loitering Outside Everton’s Training Ground

EVERTON staff and fans along with club hierarchy were given the fright of their lives this morning as security uncovered a wild David Moyes in the bushes at their training ground this morning.

Grasping a contract written on toilet paper that he clearly wrote himself, former Everton, Sunderland and Man United boss Moyes was said to be planning on accosting chairman Bill Kenwright and urging him to sign the paper, which would grant the Scot a 6-year contract with the club.

High-pitched and desperate cries of ‘Hiya Wayne’ were also heard coming from bushes adjacent to Everton’s training ground earlier that morning as the squad prepared for their League Cup tie against Chelsea but were dismissed as disturbing sounds made by the wind.

Security staff’s effort to dislodge Moyes from the premises proved fruitless as Scottish people are notoriously difficult to move on from anywhere, prompting them to call the police who brought an expert Scottish-whisperer with them.

Moyes was found to have had a 6 pack of Wayne’s favourite beer in his possession and admitted that he was going to offer Rooney a spin in his 2012 Vauxall Astra once the beer was consumed.

“He was so sad and grey looking, we felt bad moving him on but all it took in the end was a net and an officer dressed in a Fellaini wig to coax him out of the bushes,” confirmed the Scottish-whisperer.

“We’re just glad a real tragedy was averted and David was allowed within 50 feet of the team,” confirmed one relieved Everton fan, who admits the thoughts of having Ryan Giggs as a manager also gives him sleepless nights.

 

[Lineker]

Quote

Manchester United: de Gea, Bailly, Smalling, Jones, Valencia, Herrera, Matic, Young, Mkhitaryan, Lukaku, Rashford.
Subs: Mata, Martial, Lingard, Blind, Romero, Darmian, McTominay.

Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Alderweireld, Dier, Vertonghen, Aurier, Eriksen, Winks, Alli, Davies, Sissoko, Son.
Subs: Trippier, Rose, Sanchez, Vorm, Nkoudou, Llorente, Dembele.

Referee: Jon Moss (W Yorkshire).

Sanchez on the bench for the first time in a while, Dier dropping into the back three. Son up top. Interesting.

[MDK]

This is going to be a shit game isn't it?

[Lineker]

Probably.

[MDK]

6 minutes ago, Lineker said:

Probably.

This is why I hate Jose. He sucks the life out of football matches. Spurs have some really exciting, creative players (and Sissoko) and we probably wont see any of that today. United aren't short of exciting players but I reckon we wont see that either.

Of course it could end up being end-to-end 5-4 game.

[Lineker]

Quote

An entertainingly combative Jose Mourinho speaks! He starts by refusing to confirm how his team will line up. “I’m not saying we’re playing three at the back. You are saying that. We’re not.” He then slips into Platitude Mode for a while. “We want to win, but we are playing one of the best, if not the best, team in the league. But nothing can stop us thinking we can win. We will try to be dominant and try to win this match. We know we have a difficult job.” Then he’s asked by Sky’s Geoff Shreeves whether the dynamic changes given the absence of Harry Kane. And wahey! Here we go, as Jose visibly bristles. “You know, how does the dynamic change without Ibrahimovic, without Marcus Rojo, Michael Carrick, Paul Pogba, Marouane Fellaini? Did you ask Mauricio the same question with relation to my players who are not playing?” He’s informed Pochettino has yet to be interviewed. “Ah, so, do it, ask him how you approach the game without Pogba, without Fellaini, without Ibrahimovic, without Rojo, without Carrick, ask the same question to Maurice.” And that’s pretty much the thrust of it, a verbal dusting out of nothing. Pointless, some would argue, but then that’s half the fun. Poor Geoff. Pantomime brilliance. Say what you will about Mourinho, the man guarantees entertainment one way or another. He appears to be in the mood today.

Mauricio Pochettino talks! “We must retain our philosophy. Harry is one of the best strikers in the world, and of course we are going to miss his quality. But the squad is so important. It’s important to be ready. And we will miss him but the team is ready to compete, to fight and to try to win. Today will be a tough game. Llorente could be a good impact from the bench.” And the response to Jose’s question, which Po’ Geoff has been ordered to ask, and heaven help him post-match if he doesn’t? “Of course they have a lot of injuries, and you always miss your players. But United have a great squad and they are so competitive. We have some injuries too. A manager wants all his players available and fit, but it’s a shame, they are human, they get injured and tired.”

 

[MDK]

2 shots on goal, 1 on target from United. At home.

[Baddar]

6 minutes ago, MDK said:

2 shots on goal, 1 on target from United. At home.

It's been shit after the first 10mins or so.

And tbf the 7 or 8 shots Spurs have had wouldn't have worked Taibi, let alone De Gea.

[FLiam]

This is fucking shit.

I love listening to United supporters I know saying “Sometimes you have to play defensively”. At home for fuck sake? You’re Manchester United.

[MDK]

6 minutes ago, Baddar said:

And tbf the 7 or 8 shots Spurs have had wouldn't have worked Taibi, let alone De Gea.

That is a bold claim.

[Lineker]

Well yeh, you bolded it.

[MDK]

Exactly.

[Lineker]

ffs

[Baddar]

Better 2nd half, started creating chances, and now Tony has scored. He should be starting every week. Great flick from Lukaku who's woken up in the last 15mins.

[MDK]

Lets all say it together:

Lads, it's Tottenham.