2015 NFL Off Season Thread

[Your Mom]

Good!

[Lineker]

Houston Texans Reportedly Will Be Named 'Hard Knocks' Team

Yay?

[Meacon Keaton]

Sure. Hard Knocks rocks.

[thatshortguy]

Sure. Hard Knocks rocks.

It may be the only thing able to make the Texans interesting.

[Meacon Keaton]

We'll get to know the off-the-field JJ Watt. You know, the one that flips cars for fun and saves babies from burning buildings.

[gunnar hendershow]

JJ Watt will probably save a baby from a burning building on the first episode. Who knows how they can top that.

[Lineker]

Episode two: JJ Watt will save two babies from a burning building.

[gunnar hendershow]

Episode three: JJ Watt stops an earthquake from happening just by staring at the ground

[thatshortguy]

Episode Four: Hard Watts

[LL!]

Episode 5: There are more players on the team? H-uh.

[Berober]

Episode 6: Houston JJ Watts

[thatshortguy]

Mike Zimmer does not understand that you can sometimes acquire goods and services in exchange for other goods and services.

[livid]

Well it's not like he can say "yeah we don't care if he plays for us or the Cowboys" because then that decreases his trade value if it comes to that. Which is why I think it's dumb to ask a coach/player about a holdout/similar situation because the chance of getting a truthful answer is nonexistent.

Also, you guys are gonna be sooooo pissed when JJ Watt says no to having a camera in his face for weeks.

Edited May 27, 2015 by livid

[Lint]

I want a buddy cop show where Watt plays Detective John Johnson Watt, the straight laced by the book detective and Gronk is his loose Hawaiian shirt wearing party animal partner

[Meacon Keaton]

Also, you guys are gonna be sooooo pissed when JJ Watt says no to having a camera in his face for weeks.

HBO won't listen and then JJ Watt will eat all the cameras.

[thatshortguy]

Well it's not like he can say "yeah we don't care if he plays for us or the Cowboys" because then that decreases his trade value if it comes to that. Which is why I think it's dumb to ask a coach/player about a holdout/similar situation because the chance of getting a truthful answer is nonexistent.

Also, you guys are gonna be sooooo pissed when JJ Watt says no to having a camera in his face for weeks.

I often wonder if the press uses those kinds of questions because they know it's a no-win for whoever is answering. Ergo, their chance to make someone on an NFL team look like an idiot.

Also, you guys are gonna be sooooo pissed when JJ Watt says no to having a camera in his face for weeks.

HBO won't listen and then JJ Watt will eat all the cameras.

That's the season finale.

[Schlitzbrille]

But is it before or after Jadeveon Clowney foolishly tries to challenge for the status of Texans alpha male?

[thatshortguy]

This makes me wonder who the NFL equivalent of Sir Richard Attenborough would be.

First person to suggest Chris Berman gets hexed.

[LL!]

I can tell you why JJ Watt is so incredible. Look what happens when you flip his first name horizontally: JJ -》 LL

Now you know my secret.

[thatshortguy]

Demand a trade to Atlanta.