The Barclays Premier League Thread 2014/2015

[Gazz]

Are we really going to name every black footballer before we admit that yes, it probably is Dembanter?

Maybe, but then you obviously hate fun and ruined it for everyone.

[The Lusophone]

Happy to help.

[Lineker]

Move over de Gea's doughnuts!

QPR defender Steven Caulker was handcuffed after being accused of stealing a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese, the Sun reports.

The 22-year-old earns £40,000 a week at Loftus Road, but his purchase of the £1.85 spread aroused enough suspicion for the police to be summoned.

The centre-back was later released when it turned out he had done nothing wrong.

[Baddar]

I bet he was cheesed off.

News must have spread fast.

That'll do guys.

Ha-mes Ward-Prowse is out for 10 weeks.

[King Ellis]

I never heard about De Gea nicking doughnuts. Only one I remember is someone nicking a sink, Steven Taylor was it?

[Lineker]

I never heard about De Gea nicking doughnuts. Only one I remember is someone nicking a sink, Steven Taylor was it?

PSA: this is a hyperlink to the Daily Mail website

[Benji]

Might be a bit of a bell end sometimes, but JT can be a classy guy when he wants to be:

 

The true John Terry #CaptainLeaderLegend pic.twitter.com/xYC0kAUYI5

— Louise. (@Ad0re_You)

September 22, 2014

[Ant]

Don't fancy Costas much..

[brenchill]

Costa looks like Costa's dad.

[Benji]

Nothing to see here >_>

[King Ellis]

Still think Chelsea should sign that 'kid' from Lazio and pair him and Costa up.

[Lineker]

Favourite story of the week (narrowly beating out Caulker's cheese arrest): Former Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan denies killing rapper friend Castro in human sacrifice ritual

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29357728

[Benji]

Man City are denying the same charges over Sheffield Wednesday.

[Lineker]

Liverpool are one of a number of clubs set to be investigated for possible Financial Fair Play (FFP) breaches.

According to Uefa's rules, all clubs competing in Europe must limit losses to £35.4m over two seasons.

There are punishments for those who do not, with Manchester City hit with a fine and a limit on spending and squad size in May after breaking the rules.

But despite losses of £49.8m in 2012-13 and £41m in 2011-12, Liverpool are confident they will be cleared.

The Reds, along with Monaco, Inter Milan and Roma - none of whom took part in European competition last season - have submitted their accounts to the Club Financial Control Body (CFCB), but are due to be asked to provide further information on their finances.

After signing a series of lucrative commercial deals over the past 18 months though, Liverpool are confident they have adhered to the FFP regulations.

The money raised commercially can be offset against the £90m losses, which can be further reduced if Liverpool can show they have invested some of their spending in youth development, infrastructure and community projects.

Last season 76 clubs were deemed to be "at risk" of breaching FFP, but only nine were punished.

Manchester City and Paris St-Germain were the clubs hit hardest by Uefa, each fined £49m and handed restrictions on transfer spending and a reduction in their squad size for the Champions League.

If Liverpool are deemed worthy of investigation by Uefa, they would have their £6.8m prize money for reaching the group stages of the Champions League withheld.

That money would be paid out if Liverpool were subsequently able to convince Uefa of their compliance.

[stokeriño]

That was always obvious.

[Lineker]

Cain Hoy are no longer considering making an offer for us.

[Nerf]

Shoddy journalism, unsurprisingly. 'Investigation' is far from the right word, we (along with Roma, Inter, Monaco and others) just have to supply evidence of what we've claimed. Absolutely standard practice and a complete non-story. Unless we can't supply said evidence, of course.

Last season, 76 clubs were judged to be at risk of violating FFP and were investigated in more depth, but only nine of those were judged to have violated it and ended up charged. Liverpool's net losses in recent seasons, then, likely always meant they too would face investigation when they returned to Europe, and so today's confirmation isn't hugely surprising.

Based on Liverpool's ongoing support of FFP regulations, that UEFA consider any club posting a loss to be at risk and investigate them more thoroughly regardless of whether they have violated FFP, and that the club continue to suggest they do not believe they were in violation of FFP, there seems little cause for concern amongst fans.

Liverpool and the six other clubs under investigation will still receive their payments for participating in the Champions League while the investigation is ongoing.

[Lineker]

In an extraordinary interview with Danish news site TV3 Sport, Nicklas Helenius has opened up about his year of hell at Aston Villa, revealing he was depressed and thought he was dying.

The striker arrived at Villa Park a year ago for a fee of £1.2 million and was touted as one of the brightest talents in Danish football. His performances didn’t back this up, however, and Helenius only scored one goal in all competitions last season.

Conclusions that he was a flop now look to be way off after this frank interview in which he tells of how he was struck by an illness that affected his bowels and led to him thinking he had a terminal disease like cancer: “I did not know my body as well, and I did not know what after-effects such bacteria can bring. I had no idea what it was. I thought I was hit by a terrible neurological disease or serious cancer. It was fucking hard and it knocked me backwards.”

Naturally, such distressing thoughts would throw Helenius off his game but the physical pain of his illness meant that he couldn’t play anyway.

Helenius got progressively worse over the course of his first few months in England and began taking sleeping pills, becoming addicted to the drug: “I started taking sleeping pills, and them I was addicted to. I was just like a drug addict, and for a time I took them every night for six weeks. It was bullshit, because such pills are filled with filth and dirt, and they only did my physical pain worse.”

“When depression gets bad thoughts about themselves. I was afraid to die, and thoughts of death was there all the time and I shouted for help. I just had to get through this in one way or another, and I luckily came to find peace of mind again.”

It was only towards the end of last season that the 21 year old was given the all-clear from doctors and told he didn’t have cancer. He then had to go cold turkey on his addiction to sleeping pills. A challenge but with the help of his loving partner and friends, Helenius made it out the other side and is now the father to twins who were born in March.

He’s back on a season-long loan at Aab and trying to adjust back to his routine before the illness rocked his world. Very strange that Villa kept all of this quiet while Helenius was struggling.

[Colly]

He needs a better doctor if his sleeping pills are full of filth and dirt.

[Ant]

Sounds like he fit right in.