The Barclays Premier League Thread 2013/14

[Ant]

Don't forget Olivier Bernard

[Dan]

Malcolm Macdonald!

[Colly]

An old Newcastle player!

I'm choosing not to panic just yet, the murmurings are that he's taking on Llambias' role in having final approval on transfers, which although initially it sounds mental it does mean we'd have a football brain (brain being a loose term) advising, and hopefully avoiding a situation like last year where we failed to spend in Summer then panic bought in January. Just don't let him handle tactics, scouting, or especially man management.

[Lineker]

Kinnear, that is fantasticly hilarious.

[brenchill]

I just think its odd how the only club in world football who are interested in giving Kinnear any kind role is Newcastle. What his ties to the club?

His managerial appointment was so bizarre a few years back.

[Colly]

None to the club, presumably he's played poker with Ashley at some stage.

[Lineker]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22924243

Jose knew about Fergie's retirement, then.

[brenchill]

Did he balls know.

[Gazz]

I just think its odd how the only club in world football who are interested in giving Kinnear any kind role is Newcastle. What his ties to the club?

His managerial appointment was so bizarre a few years back.

It was a dark, stormy night and in a seedy East London drinking and gambling pit. The air was dank with the smell of fried grease, cheap lager and flatulence. There were two men left at the Poker table, both of rotund stature and sweaty brows.

Mike Ashley, with pocket Jacks and one on the turn was all in, over £250,000 bet. His opponent, Joe Kinnear eyed Mike from across the table and tried to ignore the minor stinging pain coming from his left arm. He looked at the nine and Queen in his hand and the ten and the Jack already on the table and in his simple mind, smiled to himself. He pushed all his remaining chips into the middle of the table, a little over £265,000.

'Raise' he said confidently 'and I also bet this' pulling something from his pocket. He laid it on the table.

A Pannini 1995/96 Official Premier League sticker of Efan Ekoku, signed by the great man himself. Worth millions, maybe even priceless.

Mike gulped as Joe loosened his pants. 'C'mon now Joe, you know I haven't got that type of money!'

'But you have got something I want' Kinnear replied. Mike hoped he wasn't talking about his wife... then again, Efan Ekoku. 'The manager's job for life at Newcastle'.

Mike looked at his cards again. He had a good hand, no manager and an opponent with the life expectancy of a suicidal Mayfly. What's the worst that could happen? 'Fine, I'll see you for the managers job'.

The dealer, a tiny man called Dennis slapped down the final card. It was a King. Mike felt confident. Joe's heart skipped a beat. Again.

'Triple Jacks' said Mike smugly as he laid his cards down face up.

Joe took a moment, composed himself and tried to swallow the blood at the back of his throat. It was all there, nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King.

'Straight' Mike's eyes bulged 'I'll see you in the office on Monday' and with that, Joe stood up, turned and walked out the door into the night.

[stokeriño]

Did he balls know.

Are you doubting that it was decided months ago, or that Fergie might tell Jose stuff in confidence?

[EddieG]

They would've turned their cards before the river was drawn.

[brenchill]

Did he balls know.

Are you doubting that it was decided months ago, or that Fergie might tell Jose stuff in confidence?

I'm not having that Mourinho knew all along.

I can always tell when Mourinho is lying, his lips move.

[DavidMarrio]

Joe Kinnear has already given us comedy gold....Calling Yohan Cabaye, Yohan Kebab on Talksport

Ben Arfa was called Ben Afra and Ameobi was supposedly called Amenobi

[Gazz]

[EddieG]

Yohan Cabaye is reportedly very upset at being branded "Yohan Kebab" by Joe Kinnear. His wife Donna is also said to be furious.

[TCO]

Oh jesus I just listened.

He called Ben Arfa, Ben Afra and Ben Afree, mumbled over Cabaye's name, called Cissé, SeeSee and then Shola and Sammy Amamobi.

[Gazz]

Newcastle's next signing.

Alan Smith

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Joe Kinnear made an announcement to those who were upset about his pronunciations earlier. He's reported to have said "Look, people are getting all mardy, thinking I'm being all serious and disrespectful but I'm just jokin' 'ere".

[therockbox]

[Gazz]

Is this some elaborate troll?