Premier League 2019/20

[Colly]

28 minutes ago, DavidMarrio said:

Nantes if we all Troyes our Brest.

 

[stokeriño]

You really are a bunch of Le Mans.

[Moses Julep]

Yeah, we should try to Rennes in the puns.

[stokeriño]

something something guillotine

[Naitch]

I think we should stop guys. This many puns clearly Angers Stoker.

[Moses Julep]

I’m not Sochaux about that.

[Hobo]

There's something about French names, they Lens themselves so well to puns.

[Adam]

Do we really Monaco on with these puns onto another page?

[gunnar hendershow]

Of course, it would be a Chamonix this now.

[lanky316]

I feel all these puns are a fitting thing for Lorient fan who can't join in this with the recent name change to the sport section.

[King Ellis]

15 minutes ago, Adam said:

Do we really Monaco on with these puns onto another page?

It's a very Grenoble endeavour.

[Naitch]

Auxerre any big clubs we've missed so far?

[Colly]

11 minutes ago, Naitch said:

Auxerre any big clubs we've missed so far?

PSGee, let me think...

[METALMAN]

Caen you guys stop this, you're Rouening it now.

 

(I'm obvs normally the anti-pun crusader but this is a special occasion. You won't see me doing this again. :/)

Edited April 30, 2020 by metalman

[Lineker]

Quote

Premier League clubs have invested in coronavirus testing machines that can turn around results in two and a half hours as they gear up towards finding a way to complete the season. The league is overseeing the initiative and it is understood that some clubs in the Championship have also purchased the machines, which cost £36,000 and are readily available.

The machines can test only one person every two and a half hours, meaning that clubs could realistically test seven employees each day with them. That, along with the cost, is probably why there is little demand for them from the NHS – whose test results take longer to return.

The Premier League is confident of privately securing the requisite number of test kits to enable top-flight football to restart without impacting on public health needs. Player and personnel testing is a major obstacle to English football finding a way to come back but the clubs are confident that with the machines they would have the means to check and safeguard their environments, particularly if they were to buy more than one machine.

At a meeting with its shareholder clubs on Friday, the Premier League will discuss new medical protocols devised to ensure a safe return to training and antigen testing for all players is one of the proposals. No defining votes are expected on training or return-to-play protocols. Instead it will provide an opportunity for clubs to air their thoughts on possible next steps while the league waits for the go-ahead from government.

A meeting between the department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport and executives from a number of sports, including the Premier League, is due to take place later in the day.

Elsewhere in Europe countries continued to pursue varying approaches to resolving their seasons in the face of the coronavirus. In France there was confirmation that Ligue 1 had completed after 28 rounds, with Paris Saint-Germain declared champions and two teams, Amiens and Toulouse, relegated from the division.

In Spain the government decided on a protocol for a return to play in which clubs could be back in training on 11 May, though that is dependent on the approval of the department of health. In Germany, meanwhile, which had been anticipated to resume play by 9 May, the chancellor Angela Merkel pushed back a decision on any resumption to next week.

Glenn Murray has described the Premier League’s proposal for players to cover their faces by wearing snoods or masks during training as “farcical” and has questioned whether players should adopt such measures as the top flight targets a return to group sessions. A seven-page document details the suggested protocols, which are part of Project Restart, the league’s plan to resume the interrupted season, and will be discussed by club executives during a conference call on Friday.

The Brighton striker questioned whether the protocols, which range from cones and corner flags being disinfected before and after use by staff wearing personal protective equipment (PPE) to cars being parked three spaces apart, were sensible or realistic. Players would also have to pass a Covid-19 antigen test in the 48 hours before group training.

The proposals have been drafted by the Premier League director of football, Richard Garlick. Brighton are among the teams to have had players working alone at training but any return to group sessions requires the green light from the government.

“We have to look at the Premier League as the global brand that it is and the reason it is that big is because of the quality of play and the quality of players that are in it and to be hindering ourselves with certain things like face masks and things, it is going to be off-putting, it is not going to be natural and people are going to be ripping them off in the middle of training,” Murray said.

“I think it is quite farcical. I understand why people are desperate to get football on – I am one of those people – but it’s got to be done in a sensible way, and at the right time, in a way that keeps not only the players and staff safe but there is so much that goes into a football game. There are going to be ambulances at training and at games: is it fair to take that [resource] from the NHS? It’s not as if it’s just two squads facing each other. There’s a lot more input to it and it puts a lot more people at risk. It’s going to be very hard to mark players at a corner if there are social distancing measures in place.”

Murray admitted players are worried about returning to action too soon and, in doing so, endangering their families. He also dismissed the feasibility of playing matches at neutral venues, a suggestion welcomed by the national policing unit. Uefa is also considering staging remaining Champions League matches at neutral venues and another suggestion has been to house players at a neutral venue for a prolonged period of time, with England’s St George’s Park base among those mooted.

“I think it is far-fetched, and to spend weeks away from your family is quite a big ask,” Murray said. “It is not just the eight weeks away from your family, it is the knock-on effect of everyone else. We are all going to be in hotels, there’s going to be housekeepers and chefs coming and going, it can’t be completely locked down. I am hoping it does not come down to that scenario.”

Paul Barber, the Brighton chief executive, echoed Murray’s sentiments on neutral venues being an unviable option. “If we were in a situation where it was felt necessary to lock players up for two months, that would suggest to me that the country is not safe,” Barber said. “That doesn’t make sense: it’s illogical. But we need to see where we get to and where the Premier League have got to tomorrow [Friday] at the meeting and then again at our meeting in a couple of weeks’ time.”

[Malenko]

I believe training in Spain won't be back on the 11th. People will be able to workout on their own May 4th. Team practices will start when all the players are tested (obviously those with the virus won't be allowed yet) and teams weren't granted all the tests yet. The 11th was given as a tentative date but it's possible/probable it'll take longer. Nothing is certain yet.

[Colly]

The MOTD podcast from last week is worth watching even if just for Shearer on Ketsbaia.

[METALMAN]

Bet these testing machines won’t even work

[Lineker]

7 hours ago, Colly said:

The MOTD podcast from last week is worth watching even if just for Shearer on Ketsbaia.

I've been meaning to post those lists all week - it's the top 10 bonkers PL moments: 

Shearer:

10) Kevin Keegan "I would love it"
9) Darren Bent's beach ball
8) Ketsbaia kicking out at the advertising hoardings
7) Keane/Vieira tunnel-gate
6) Ruud van Nistelrooy vs. the Arsenal players
5) Lee Bowyer scrapping with Kieron Dyer
4) Pardew headbutt
3) Suarez bites Ivanovic
2) Di Canio pushing the ref over
1) Cantona kung-fu kick

Wright:

10) Darren Bent's beach ball
9) Pardew headbutt
8) Ketsbaia kicking out at the advertising hoardings
7) Suarez bites Ivanovic
6) Lee Bowyer scrapping with Kieron Dyer
5) Ruud van Nistelrooy vs. the Arsenal players
4) Di Canio pushing the ref over
3) Kevin Keegan "I would love it"
2) Keane/Vieira tunnel-gate
1) Cantona kung-fu kick

[FLiam]

Nigel Pearson has been hard done by there.