Football Manager 2018

[FLiam]

Ah. I went straight for the "you could be my key player". 

Must have sounded too desperate.

[Malenko]

Sometimes they do sometimes they don't. Several factors may affect their decision (I guess there's a random variable as well). It's like when you ask someone to reconsider retirement. I did that recently with one of my Japanese players and he accepted it and then I realised I didn't actually need him so I didn't pick him and he felt ashamed and said we would never play for us again. *Shrugs*

Also, when I was managing Nigeria I tried to get this center back regen born in England with Irish and Nigerian ancestry to play for us but he refused and decided to play for Ireland instead. I just set his nickname to Paul McGrath and moved on.

 

[FLiam]

World Cup 2022 has come to a close in Australia and it is curtains for my England career. I am sure everyone is dying to know my story. 

We touched down in Melbourne, Australia with the anthem of David Baddiel and Frank Skinner ringing in our ears. We had recently come off the back of a 10 game unbeaten run in the qualifiers, not conceding a single goal in the process and this was all shortly after claiming victory in the UEFA Nations League against all odds against Germany. We face Russia, Iran and DR Congo in the group stages. It is all setup to be a terrific summer where football could in fact, come home.

First up is Russia, and within half an hour we are three goals up, thanks to goals from Kane, Alli and Tymon before Russia give us a real scare pegging two goals back in the 44th and 60th minute respectively. We weather the Russian storm fairly well and get a two goal cushion thanks to 31 year-old Kyle Walker bombing down the right flank to make it 4-2. We control the remainder of the game and just to make absolutely sure, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain thunders one in from 30 yards in the 94th minute. England 5-2 Russia. Cracking start.

Next up is Iran. They are playing what seems to be a libero and five across midfield. They might be difficult to break down, and they were. We ended the game with 20 attempts on goal, 15 of which were from long range and only two hitting the target. Luckily, one of them went in from a Joe Gomez header in the 86th minute. Blushes spare, Iran 0-1 England. 

With safe passage to the last-16 secured, I look to the bench in order to give some of the first-choice players a well deserved rest in the game against DR Congo who field Axel Tuenzebe as captain at centre-back who had only just recently rejected my advances of representing England. Anyway, the reserves shine bright, and we find ourselves 4-0 up at half-time, thanks to a brace from the 2 cap Jadon Sancho and one a piece from Luke Shaw and John Stones. I tell the lads to keep it simple and play slow short passes around the midfield for the second half. Sideways is the way forward, take it easy. So we do, we score one more in the 48th minute through Marcus Rashford before DR Congo grab a consolation on 53 minutes when Merveille Bokadi gets on the end of a punt forward from the full-back. We pass it around some more, and the game finishes 5-1 to England. How do you feel Axel?

Our reward as group winners is mouth-watering tie against Romania at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, a ground which once saw an epic confrontation between The Undertaker and Triple H. Could we match the excitement that they brought to the table? The answer is no, the game finishes with a lowly 7 shots each, but Harry Kane manages to score two and the game finishes Romania 0-2 England.  

Next up is the quarter-finals, and we draw Brazil. They lineup with a front four of Neymar, Gabriel Jesus, Coutinho and Roberto Firmino. What could possible go wrong? Well, after 90 minutes, nothing does go wrong. We edge possession at 54%, we have had more shots, more corners but the score remains 0-0. So we reach extra-time, I ensure the players don't go crazy, they're tired, leggy and Brazil still look very fresh and could kill us on the counter. So, play simple, conservative football. Don't take too many risks, it isn't worth it. Stand off, don't get caught marking too tight. Inevitably this leads to Phillipe Coutinho bending one in from 25 yards in the 100th minute. Fuck. We manage to survive attack after attack until half-time in extra-time. Right lads, we need to push forward a little bit now, we need a goal urgently. We start off on the front foot and Harry Kane hits the bar, yet we have pushed too many players forward and Gabriel Jesus finds himself in acres of space and before I know it, he's one-on-one with Pickford and the end result is 2-0 Brazil. 

Game over, World Cup over. It hurts all over again. We got one step closer than we did last time, but still fell far too short. 

Colombia failed miserably in their quest to retain the World Cup continuing the curse of the holders. They crashed out in the group stage, losing all three games and not even scoring in the process. 

The final ends up being a cracker between France and Germany with France winning their second World Cup after a 4-3 scoreline. £97m Manchester City signing Anthony Martial bagging a brace. 

So with that ends my England career. I turn in my three lions to the FA, as I am swapping them for a cock balancing on a ball at Shite Hart Lane. 

[MDK]

11 minutes ago, Liam Mk2 said:

The final ends up being a cracker between France and Germany

The final where nobody wins

[FLiam]

Here's one thing they could add for the future.

The ability to communicate with the club you're taking over before you officially take over. I had already agreed to take over at Spurs but during the World Cup, they sold Harry Maguire and Davinson Sanchez, leaving me with only three centre-backs - and two are the wrong side of 30. It would have been nice to say "Hey, don't sell these guys, and I want you to start making moves for X, Y and Z".

I was planning on playing three at the back. That's out the window now.

[Arjen Robben]

Boycotting your World Cup campaign and your tenure as manager due to the continued absence of Ben Gibson.

[FLiam]

51 minutes ago, Arjen Robben said:

Boycotting your World Cup campaign and your tenure as manager due to the continued absence of Ben Gibson.

Hey, he was injured during the World Cup anyway. 

I wouldn't have taken Chambers otherwise!

[Rocky]

OK New game. Spent a few hours recreating the Hunger games world of Panem (replacing Andorra). Have 1 league with the Capitol and 12 districts.
Made Panem and The Capitol very desirable with reputation dropping throughout the districts (Dist.12 having 2800rep)
Using the Hunger Games wiki, I was able to determine rough finances etc for each club and city.

So I started a game with District 12 because I'm a glutton for punishment and had the squad autofilled with regens. A couple of quality players but all in all, rather shit.
Season has just started with the first round of the Reaping Cup. 0-5 down after 30 minutes against District 8. So now I can focus on the regular season.

 

[Lineker]

17 minutes ago, iAmRockyFeller said:

OK New game. Spent a few hours recreating the Hunger games world of Panem (replacing Andorra). Have 1 league with the Capitol and 12 districts.
Made Panem and The Capitol very desirable with reputation dropping throughout the districts (Dist.12 having 2800rep)
Using the Hunger Games wiki, I was able to determine rough finances etc for each club and city.

So I started a game with District 12 because I'm a glutton for punishment and had the squad autofilled with regens. A couple of quality players but all in all, rather shit.
Season has just started with the first round of the Reaping Cup. 0-5 down after 30 minutes against District 8. So now I can focus on the regular season.

 

[Rocky]

I recently listened to an Audiobook/drama of the series and needed to find an outlet to get it out of my head. 

[The Lusophone]

This was super enjoyable. 4-4-2 beating some weird foreign 3-1-4-2 the Argies were playing.

 

[MDK]

15 games into my current season and I am second in the PL and West Ham are bottom.

Let me get the lotion.

[FLiam]

Started the season with Spurs like a house on fire. Battering Newcastle 5-0, and all the goals came in the first half. Who said Spurs still needed Harry Kane and Dele Alli? 

Although I could have used them in the next game against Huddersfield away, as I lost 3-0. 

I rushed into this job without really realising what I was getting myself in for. They’re an ageing team, with hardly any homegrown players, so I had to ship a lot of deadwood on, and bring in some only half decent players purely because they help with the homegrown quota. Calum Chambers was one from Stoke and a couple of others I’ll look at and post tomorrow. 

I inherited a defence that was a 33 year-old Jordi Alba, a 33 year-old Toby Alderweireld, a 28 year-old Eric Dier and 31 year-old Mario. Absolutely splendid. Worst part is, they’re all on £150,000 plus a week. Then add my two strikers, on £175,000 and £150,000 a week respectively, 32 year-old Ciro Immobile and 30 year-old Gerard Moreno. 

Where was the long-term planning Tottenham Hotspur? No wonder you finished 9th.

[Adam]

Perfect for a complete rebuild though. You can mould an entire squad the way you like it within a few transfer windows.

[FLiam]

8 hours ago, Adam es Tranquilo said:

Perfect for a complete rebuild though. You can mould an entire squad the way you like it within a few transfer windows.

This is true. They just need to give me more money. I joined with only £35m transfer budget. They’ve only recently sold Harry Kane and Dele Alli for a combined £200m and have barely reinvested. 

Although I haven’t checked debt etc from the stadium, maybe I should have a look at that.

So, the club has £128.47m worth of debt. The monthly payments of £4m until 2027 which is five years. Gulp. What have a done? 

I am projected to make a £40m loss over the next two seasons. I am thinking a) I need to bring Champion's League football back and b) Sell a couple of players for big fees. Which is going to be difficult as most of them are old and won't bring in too much. They signed Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain last season, he's worth £43m at the age of 29, however I very much doubt I will get anywhere near that. He'd be first on the chopping board.

Manchester United are basically cheating on this. Their options in the forward four attacking positions are Nabil Fekir, Malcolm, Federico Chiesa, Alexis Sanchez, Kingsley Coman, Paulo Dybala, Kasper Dolberg and Mauro Icardi. All of them bar Sanchez are rated at 4 stars. They also have a 3 star current, 5 star potential 21 year-old regen.

Well get a f'in move on and study then.

[MDK]

Wow, my fans are fickle now we are Bertie Big Bollocks. Manny, the aforementioned wonderkid striker I posted before, is getting stick from the fans. 20 league goals in 18 league games BUT only three assists means his place is being questioned. HE ISN'T THERE TO SUPPLY ASSISTS, HE IS THERE TO PUT IT IN THE BACK OF THE ONION BAG YOU CUNTS.

Fucking melts.

[FLiam]

Fairly good start to the season at Spurs post-England. 

Currently on a 9 match unbeaten run as well since losing at home to Manchester United.

[The Lusophone]

Yeah I'm gonna need you to someone prevent Liverpool from winning the title.

[FLiam]

Well, it won't be me. 

Since that post I have lost 2 out of the last 3 games. 

Goals are drying up, so I am close to finalising a transfer for January. Andrea Pinamonti from Inter Milan for a fee that could be worth £30m eventually. I plan on making the money back in the summer by selling my first-choice goalkeeper as I have a 3.5 current ability / 5 star potential ability 21 year-old regen waiting in the wings. I may sell Eric Dier as well, he's worth £65m and think I could get slightly more than that for him. 

[MDK]

3 hours ago, Liam Mk2 said:

Goals are drying up, so I am close to finalising a transfer for January

He's a quality player